Fast forward to today....it's his first day not smoking. I am trying my best to be supportive because it is a super hard thing to quit. Why now though? Of all the things I asked him to do, honestly, this wasn't at the top of the list. Yes, him being healthier is great but he gets super irritable and we are three weeks from Dday 2. I need him not to be that way. Secondly, I really don't want to hear how hard it is for him right now. It's ticking me off. Lastly, the motivation behind it seems purely selfish. He wants to buy a new truck. At some point, prior to DDay, I suggested he quit smoking to do that. He also says that he is doing it to make not smoking easier on me. Wtf? Really? After almost two years?
I sound totally unsupportive, I know, but I really would have preferred he did any of the myriad of things I asked him to do.
Is this possibly his idea of showing you is sorry and is putting in effort to change himself?
I think quitting smoking is great but yes the side effects at this timing are pretty crappy since he'll be focused on his own withdrawal
I think your H taking champix and your d-day being only 3 weeks ago is going to be really hard. Sorry, but you (and he) should research this stuff.
If he can't quit smoking AND be supportive of you, he may need to put that aside for a bit. 3 weeks from D-day and 100% of his thoughts and actions should be supporting you through your trauma. He can quit later. I wonder if he is doing this so he doesn't HAVE to be so supportive or something?
Have you talked to him about your feelings with this? You need to be 100% honest about it like you are here with us. And he needs to be 100% honest about why he is choosing right now, when he knows you need him more.