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Newest Member: FeebleHercules (44938)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam
SelfishHusband
♂ Member
Member # 43174
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today's breakfast:

http://www.instructables.com/id/Eggs-Benedict-Re-Imagined/

Why? Because I found spam in the pantry and because I asked BW what she wanted for breakfast and she told me she had "no preference".

Now, even though I never specifically said I would get the breakfast, or make the breakfast, any good wayward knows that's exactly what that means. :) At first I did these things because I was trying to bend over backwards to help "fix" things and to "make" things better. She eventually felt bad about treating me as "her slave".

But as time goes on I do these things less out of obligation and more because I want to.

And when I brought her the plate of overcooked eggs, overbreaded and overfried spam, on top of something resembling cheesy grits she told me it was adorable, took a picture of it, and couldn't wait to go show everyone at work how cute it was that her husband tried (and failed miserably) to cook her breakfast, bless his little heart. And I couldn't be happier, because "adorable" and "cute" are positive words and she was smiling when she said them.

Next week will mark 3 months since I saw the light, so to speak, and I'm in a good mood, and yes, despite our horrible horrible actions, that is allowed from time to time :)

I wish I could bottle it and ship it to you all. No matter what you did or how bad it was, it doesn't have to define you for the rest of your life.

Learn from your mistakes and become the person you want to be. Be the change that you want to see in the world.


Me: FWH (39)
Her: BW (34)
DDay 1: March 2013 (EA/PA that *I* rugswept)
DDay 2: April 2014 (PA with double betrayal. OW was wife's friend)
Married: 13 Years
1 Handsome and Amazing Son (10)
MC and IC for 2.5 months-ish. Currently stopped.

Posts: 305 | Registered: Apr 2014
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

+1000 for Monty Python themed breakfast.

I'm glad you two were able to bond over this.


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17318 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
sorrowfulmate
♂ Member
Member # 43441
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bloody Vikings...

Love it...


Me-WS 50
Her-BS 50 Questioningall
5 kids
Dday 1 12/12
Dday 2 - 3/14 EAs, 2 ONS, 1 LTA
TT until 7/14 when I gave a timeline
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BW Roberts

Posts: 176 | Registered: May 2014
Macsecond
♀ Member
Member # 43972
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Baked beans are off.

"Could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?"


Me - WW (38)
Him - BH (36)
Married almost 14 years.
2 kids
DDay - July 4, 2014 (I confessed to 5 month OEA)
In IC and MC, working on R.

Posts: 141 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Canada
Imabrokenman
♂ Member
Member # 43886
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This truly gives me hope:

I wish I could bottle it and ship it to you all. No matter what you did or how bad it was, it doesn't have to define you for the rest of your life.

Learn from your mistakes and become the person you want to be. Be the change that you want to see in the world.

Thanks for making my day a little bit better.


Me: WH (49)
Her: BW (48)
DDay 1: June 9, 2014
DDay 2: June 23, 2014
Married: 19 Years
No children

Currently living apart, unsure of reconciliation. In IC.


Posts: 69 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Richmond, VA
Macsecond
♀ Member
Member # 43972
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Next week will mark 3 months since I saw the light, so to speak, and I'm in a good mood, and yes, despite our horrible horrible actions, that is allowed from time to time :)

I wish I could bottle it and ship it to you all. No matter what you did or how bad it was, it doesn't have to define you for the rest of your life.

Learn from your mistakes and become the person you want to be

Thank you for all of this. I'm constantly waiting for the pendulum to swing. BH's mood is good and steady so far, but I know there'll be bad days. It's nice to hear from folks when there are good days too.


Me - WW (38)
Him - BH (36)
Married almost 14 years.
2 kids
DDay - July 4, 2014 (I confessed to 5 month OEA)
In IC and MC, working on R.

Posts: 141 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Canada
SelfishHusband
♂ Member
Member # 43174
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It just seemed like there's been a lot of hopelessness posts lately.

I know full well the feelings of panic, dread, worry, self-pity.. you name it. I felt like my life was over and I was just a walking shell of a person, going through the motions of merely existing.

I had lied to her to spare myself and prevent our marriage from being over if she ever did find out.

Well, what a surprise, she found out.

She was devastated. I've never had more sheer horror in my life; the sudden realization that I was capable of hurting the people I profess to love. It's easy to let it consume you, and then come in here and let everyone else's horror stories drag you down as well.

Every situation is different, but it's ok to have hope. Even if you think your situation isn't going to work out. Hope that your efforts now are going to pay off for you individually even if they don't for you as a couple. And if you haven't made any effort and you're still wallowing (you know who you are), then I invite you to start making the effort.

"But I don't know what to do or how to do it?"

Here's where I hand you the imaginary shovel.

Dig.

And while you're digging inside of yourself, come up out of that pit every once in a while for a break and cold glass of lemonade.

There are things worth living for. Simpler things. Finer things. Peaceful things.

Despair not, ye remorseful lost souls who are here to better themselves. It's not you who I worry about. It's the unremorseful ones who still don't "get it". But they're not here for us to talk sense into. They're still out there hurting themselves and others.

A moment of silence for them.

I'm glad I could brighten the day for some of you.
We lost souls are a compassionate bunch. I love being here amongst you imperfect humans. We're still capable of love, and there's a lot of it here. Stick around and you'll see.

Now go heal yourself, and fix yourself, and come back and report on how much better you're doing and be ready to give support to those who are still struggling. Sometimes all it takes is a good ear and a kind word.


Me: FWH (39)
Her: BW (34)
DDay 1: March 2013 (EA/PA that *I* rugswept)
DDay 2: April 2014 (PA with double betrayal. OW was wife's friend)
Married: 13 Years
1 Handsome and Amazing Son (10)
MC and IC for 2.5 months-ish. Currently stopped.

Posts: 305 | Registered: Apr 2014
Macsecond
♀ Member
Member # 43972
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you SH.


Me - WW (38)
Him - BH (36)
Married almost 14 years.
2 kids
DDay - July 4, 2014 (I confessed to 5 month OEA)
In IC and MC, working on R.

Posts: 141 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 8

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