Topic: What to do with timeline?
♀ New Member
Member # 39367
| Posted: 1:42 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014|
I've written it all out and haven't touched it for months. DBH has no desire to read it as I've disclosed everything written there. He wants to have a timeline burning "event."
Anyone done this? Regrets on part of BS after? Helpful?
Me: FWW 40s
Him: BH 50s
7 living children, 6 deceased
NC since 4/18/13
PTSD dx - in EMDR IC
Posts: 25 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 16024
| Posted: 3:01 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014|
We didn't do this but I think if BH want to do it, you should.
Take up your space (and do it well).
"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."
Posts: 36520 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 33886
| Posted: 3:51 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014|
My husband didn't want a timeline. I did it for me. Once he knew it was written, he did read it. It's still saved in my online journal. Whatever. We both know it's there but it doesn't matter. He doesn't need to see it again. I haven't deleted it. Just haven't thought about it.
If he wants to have a ritualistic burning, go for it. It's been known to happen. Many people have done it. Timelines. Piles of text and email evidence. Paperwork gathered by PIs. Anything else A related.
If he feels he is ready to burn it, don't question him. He wants it. Do it. He's ready. Any regrets would be his to own. Most don't bring it up if they aren't already sure anyway.
Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?
Posts: 6045 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Member # 42327
| Posted: 4:49 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014|
We actually have a burn "pile" that has been accumulated. It includes emails, timelines, clothes that are trigger us. There will come a day when we will burn it, it will happen when he's ready. I don't think he will regret it at all the day he feels strong and healed enough to request for it to happen. Until then it will sit in the back of our closer out of sight, but not out of mind.
Me: WW: 33
BS(him): 35 (Jt8d) Most amazing, strong man in the world. Continues to show and teaches me real, true unbroken love every day.
Newbies in R
Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more
Posts: 85 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Midwest
Member # 42807
| Posted: 10:59 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014|
BBF and I also have a burn pile filed with clothes that I wore when I went to see OM. Timeline is not in the pile as I and still constructing my timeline. If he asked me to burn it along with my burn pile I will. We have not burned the pile, but I am hoping by the end of this month.
He, however asked me to get rid of the necklace he bought for me on our first Xmas. It was was a symbol of our love and I had tainted it with infidelity. I falsified our love by never being true with myself or with him. We broke the necklace together. We got a hammer and smashed it. It hurt but it felt good, because it meant that we were starting a new path based on integrity, honest, trust, everything our relationship never had. We are in limbo, but I know he appreciated when I went to him and asked to break it after holding on to it.
WGF - 24
BBF - MercilesslyNuked, 29
DDay 1 - 1/6/14
DDay 2 - 1/23/14
I Am Strong! I Am Beautiful! I Am Smart! I Am Worthy!
Posts: 103 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Colorado
|Topic Posts: 5|