[This message edited by CloudyDae at 4:18 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday)]
If you've already heard the leave now advice, it sounds like you want to hear the stay advice.
Well, stay then. :)
But the physical (and the emotional, but especially the physical) abuse is no bueno, and you should be concerned for your safety.
You're your own person, and you deserve love and respect. Like my BW said: "Your past is not who you are."
He has anger issues and if he doesn't want to hear it from you, maybe he can hear it from others like your pastor and get the help he needs?
It ends when you want it to end. Divorce, or separation, is not necessarily the end. He could always come around after he has the space he needs to heal. In the meanwhile, you certainly deserve better than to worry about your personal safety, and that's certainly no good for your child(ren) to be around. So addressing that should be the number one priority above all else, in my opinion.
I'm scared for my physical well being
Please tell that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ to your friends and family, even if you stay. But I don't think you should stay. Not only for your safety, but your H also sounds very unhappy. It sounds like you know what you need to do, but need support to pull the trigger. No one deserves to suffer abuse, not even cheaters.
FWIW, my first H abused me for years. I stayed. He cheated, I stayed. He beat me for questioning him, beat me for being upset, beat me for breathing. I finally had enough, grabbed my kid, and left.
You can do this. You have to, if not for you, for your daughter. Your H is ramping up and I'm afraid the next wave of violence could yield catastrophic results.
Keep posting - we're here for you.
[This message edited by MissesJai at 4:51 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday)]
I can see that you want to save your marriage, and that is noble. But the most important thing is your DC and your safety. You have tried to separate, and this has not changed anything. You have to file. Take pictures of the abuse. This may be enough to snap him out of it.
"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"
ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)
no stop sign = BS always welcome
I do not PM with women
If you have truly put in dedicated, sincere effort, then this is no longer your battle to fight. You do not need to feel shame for making mistakes, doing everything within your power to fix them, then choosing a different path down the road.
So far, so good.