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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 21
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LS, I could make a bday card for you to give her. After my rant yesterday over anniversary cards, I'm wondering if I shouldn't release a line of anti-Hallmark cards lol.


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony
2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 262 | Registered: Dec 2012
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sure! Make a big ol card - big enough to contain the D papers...
On the front
"Happy Birthday"
Inside
(with the D papers)
"You're my favorite EX"

Posts: 6572 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I would have to have my camera for that one. Imagine the look upon her face.

[This message edited by LostSamurai at 8:50 AM, June 27th (Friday)]


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WTH - Go for it! This world needs a dose of reality.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Attention menz gamers!
Is this something you'd like?

https://www.kerbalspaceprogram.com/index.php

LS - have a friend with a video cam 'accompany' the process-server?


Posts: 6572 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On what would've been the 10th anniversary of my first M, which would've been 3 years after our D, I thought about sending my x a card and writing in it "You've never made me happier"


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony
2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 262 | Registered: Dec 2012
william
Member
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

im going to go completely against the flow here and explain why.

getting nothing = bad idea. you forgot. shes got yet another gripe. another justification. you either explain you didnt forget or she thinks you did - in either case you lose.

getting a nasty card = bad idea. shows you spent way too much time thinking about her.

ill offer 3 suggestions:
1: a candy bar or something else clearly from the check out line of the local supermarket. preferably something she doesnt like. nothing says you remembered and couldnt be bothered as effectively. bonus points if you start to hand it to her while saying happy birthday but then add "hey, you dont like snickers ... do you?" and when she says "no" ... say "okay" and open it and eat it.

2: a package of 6 or so AA batteries. come home. open the package in front of her. take a few out. put them in the tv remote control. put the two old batteries from the tv remote BACK into the package with the good ones. hand it to her. say "happy birthday".

3: wish her happy birthday, hand her the divorce papers and a pen, and ask her to sign them for you.

best is to show you remembered but couldnt give two sh1ts less anymore.


me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys


Posts: 543 | Registered: Jan 2014
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seeing how we are already separated number 3 is probably the best option.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
william
Member
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bring the candy bar to meet her


me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys


Posts: 543 | Registered: Jan 2014
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In the midst of enforcing NC, and reducing the effects of her hoovering, I remember a phone convo in which she expressed sadness that I didn't get her anything for her B-day.

My response was :crickets:
but inside my head, a Sousa March began to play in celebration & I had to stifle laughter.
See,
I had completely forgotten!

It was a milestone on the road to "Indifferenceville" -

It's now 3-4(?) years running since I've remembered the day (I forget )

But truly, the goal of no-space-in-my-brain
indifference makes all the "difference"...


Posts: 6572 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This heading for D has prompted a lot of introspection (usually as I am trying to fall asleep at night ). I really enjoyed being M'd, except for the years when she was active in her As. I enjoyed having a partner.

She thinks I thought she talked too much because I did not chat back very much, but I enjoyed listening and being supportive. She wanted me to anticipate her emotional needs, but that is impossible for anyone and I really do not pick up on emotional cues well. I needed her to share her feelings, but it is hard to impossible for her to be emotionally open. I get that I have kind of the same look no matter how I am feeling inside, and I am sorry that she took that look to mean resenting her. She thought I did not like being with her because I was not as up and outgoing as I am for a couple of hours at a party or social gathering. But the party me is a front, I need hours after that to recharge.

Often in MC she told me she wished I would smile more, so I worked on that. I do smile more, and people smile back at me. It did not fix Us though. She wanted me to pay attention to her when she asked or told me something, but became angry if I would turn off the television and turn and face her when she talked. She said I was making a big show of how she was interrupting me, but I just wanted to be engaged. Plus, with some age induced hearing loss I have trouble hearing female voices with much background noise. Her love language is acts of service, yet she felt guilty if I or anyone did something for her or gave up something for her. It was not enough to go to a work function with her and be social and polite, I had to want to be there and enjoy myself.

I am easily frustrated, but rarely get angry. Unfortunately she ALWAYS read my being frustrated as being angry at her. She would wait to see if I would talk with her, judging if I was angry with her or not by whether I said anything, but I am at nature introverted. If we went hours without talking it was not because I was upset with her, in fact that showed I was not. I get that much of this is her FOO issue, but it is still sad to look back at and I still at times wonder if I “could of, should of” done more of this or less of that.

I stayed for so long because I can see the path from where we were to where we are, and where we need to go. We are D-ing because she cannot see the path. She says she feels she was never good enough for me. I tend to have close friends or acquaintances, and few close friends. She was one of my close friends. I could never get her to understand how special that made her to me. In my mind, she was and is a special person (not special in the short bus way).

A short trip with youngest DS to visit with my folks this weekend. Next weekend a group activity with friends on the 4th and then visit my folks again while stbxW’s sister is in town visiting her. I will be OK, but felt the need to write out some of what I have been processing.

My Dad always has some IPAs in the refrigerator, and a selection of Islay single malts in the cabinet. I won't get a picture posted, but will be enjoying my evening.

--Ats

[This message edited by atsenaotie at 12:54 PM, June 27th (Friday)]


FBS 54
Separated and Divorcing

Posts: 4128 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have a good time ATS. Sounds like a wonderful way to spend the weekend. I'll be going to a mates house this week for his sixth annual VP Day party in honor of Daniel D. Tompkins. It will be a very solemn event. Not.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3919 | Registered: Dec 2011
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BM21
Just another day in the office.
Can't even get a clock up in here?


M:14yrs
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 537 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Or a tall frosty mug of something?


M:14yrs
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 537 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
MindMonkey
♂ Member
Member # 41679
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWW is out of town this weekend visiting MIL/FIL and I have the kids to myself. We're gonna have a blast. Forts in the living room, pizza, movies, staying up late, dogs on the couch.

Have a great weekend, men!


BH, 35, CoD, Military...sober since 6/17/14
FWW, EA/PA (x2) different OM coworkers
Reconciling since 8/1/13
100% ready to file at next dealbreaker...don't test me.

Posts: 209 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: NoVA
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Digging through the ole photobucket library and found this little doodle from around BM10 that I never shared.

Modified Drake Equation more suited to our needs here.

If a certain brother that championed the merits of Curve is out there lurking from time to time, this ones for you.


[This message edited by DefiledRage at 11:10 AM, June 27th (Friday)]


M:14yrs
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 537 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

https://www.kerbalspaceprogram.com/index.php

Kerbal is awesome! Great freaking game.


Posts: 1677 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jj, I have heard good things about kerbal, have not played it.

It is still 40% off right now on the Steam summer sale. Generally I try to wait until games hit the 66% mark before I even consider them, unless they're awesome or I've been waiting forever.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7444 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
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