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User Topic: find out our room placements tomorrow
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am a DSW (Developmental Service Worker) working as an ADH (Assistant to the Developmentally Handicapped) in a high school. Tomorrow is the last day of school for the summer. As usual, they haven't told any of us what room we are going to be in next year. They always wait until the final day of school so no one has a chance to plead for something different. It's also too late for us to apply to change schools.

I've been in the same room for 3 years now. The teacher and I are friends, not just co-workers. We work wonderfully together. My "specialty" is work experience...taking kids with disabilities out to work and teaching them how to do a job and keep it. I've sent 6 in the past 3 years onto a special work program for their final 2 years that really is a wonderful program for them. I'm good at my job, I love teaching the kids something that will help them in the future. I've had quite a few hired and/or at least offered jobs from the placements I've had them in.

Yet, tomorrow, myself and the other 14 EA's in the building may all be moved into different rooms, just because they like to "shake things up". Some will be happy, some will freak out.

I'll survive wherever they put me. My teacher has 2 more years until he retires. I've told them I'd love to stay with him until he retires, then they can do anything with me. So, last day, and let the fireworks begin.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5525 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crossing my fingers and sending mojo that they don't move you.

Posts: 35915 | Registered: Mar 2011
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crossed fingers didn't work. They pulled me out, and his other support staff, and put two new people in that none of us trust to do what is needed with him.

He's a large man, about 350 lbs. His health isn't good. Half of what I did the past few years was "above and beyond" my duties, because I care for him and looked after him health wise. Did all the running around, made sure he ate and drank, etc. He isn't just my co-worker anymore, he's my friend, my confidant. He doesn't handle stress well, and i know when he's stressed.

We all were in a room, and the principal came in telling us where we were next year. She already said he other support staff's name into another room, which we kind of expected to happen. Then, she said which two support staff were with him. My name wasn't there. I didn't look at him. She finally said where I was, then I looked at him. He looked at me blankly and said, "but you are with me, right?" I had to tell him no. I watched the colour drain out of his face, and he started shaking. I was afraid he was going to have a heart attack on the spot.

I couldn't get him to leave the room for lunch, or come down for the goodbye speeches. He went to the principal and lost his cookies on her. He applied for a job at another school that I know he doesn't want. He told the principal she was wrong. He's never complained, never asked for anything, and she had no right to gut his program without any feedback from him.

I was so worried about him, I called his wife, telling her what happened, and I was afraid he wouldn't make it home. She knows I'd jump through fire for him. Managed to get him to go for a drink after work, where we talked. He said he felt like we were getting a forced divorce. It kind of is like that.

I've been put into alt ed, instead of special ed. This is a CYW position, and I'm not a CYW. I'm a DSW. My weakness is the counselling end. That's what I'm going to be doing, for kids that have HUGE problems. Met with the department head and was basically told she won't back me up if I F up. Yeah, I'm feeling the love.

The teacher I'm leaving came into my life at the right time. 5 years ago, my XH walked. The next school year I was not in a happy school placement, but it didn't matter, I was in such a fog trying to figure out what happened to my life. I met him the next year when I moved to this school, but in a different room. Our boys both played the same sports, and we got along well. The next year, I became his support team. This 3 years has been wonderful. He helped me gain my confidence back, to know I was a great person, that I was good at my job, that even without XH, I was worthy of good things.

I'm mourning tonight. I know he's home safe, his wife knows where his head space is, and he's ok. I'm sitting here getting hammered, because I know my life next Sept is going through another major change. My son is off to college, 6 hours away. One of my BFF's who lives across the street is moving 6 hours away to the same city my son is going to. She's also my hair dresser, so I'm losing that too. And now, I'm losing my heaven work place to go back to what looks like hell.

I'm very sad, grieving, but I know this past 3 years with him has given me the strength to get through this, to be able to stay confident even when things are going to be rough. I'll miss him terribly in my day to day life, but our friendship is strong. I told him tonight what a world of difference he made in my life. I was very lucky to have the 3 years with him. I just pray he is able to adapt, or retire,(he can in November, although his plan was to stay for 2 more years) and have some healthy years to enjoy.

Me? I'll just muddle through, again, somehow.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5525 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are these actually professionals running this place?!?


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2243 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:37 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((devistated)))
(((friend/coworker)))

I'm sorry. Is there anyone to appeal to? Sending you hugs.


Posts: 35915 | Registered: Mar 2011
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((DM)))

Dr PJ, I know you're question was probably rhetorical - but this sounds very much like "business" as usual in the education circuit.

For some very odd reason, they feel it's best to move people around so that things stay "fresh"? No specialization or expertise needed... just be "fresh" and "bright".

It's unfortunate to say the least...


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24596 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((((Devastated))))))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5277 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope, can't really appeal to anyone. I can't even try to transfer schools....they close transfers for us in April, and don't tell us until the last day of June where we will be. I'm stuck.

Yes, sometimes they just like to "shake things up". What really sucks is in this case, I know there were 3 of us that were causing issues. So, this shake up was to get them out of where they were. My teacher is getting 2 people he really doesn't trust or want, one of them was one of the problems. He wasn't warned at all, yet other teachers were told they would be losing people. He's getting them because admin knows he can "get along with anyone". I'm getting moved because they know I will give 110% to everything I do, and suck it up.

If things go as I think they will, it will not be a fun year. We also have a new principal. Haven't heard good things. I really can't even put in for the transfer next year. My DS graduated this week from this school, and my DD is entering grade 10. If I don't work there, I can't get her there, and it's an early start school. It's a 40 min walk, and she can't/won't do it. Just got her on track, I need to suck this up until she graduates.

I hate not having options.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5525 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 8

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