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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: To crash or not to crash
hemademesingle
♀ Member
Member # 21281
Default  Posted: 5:29 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need to vent, but there is a question at the end, kind of a what would you do

Well dumbass douchbag what will it take to get my divorce from you?

You destroyed the marital home, it's not worth anything but the land, house needs to be demolished (it is unlivable and sits empty, there is a mortgage for more than what the land is worth), blew threw a ton of retirement money, you owe tens of thousands in back support, denied your children the use of the extended health benefits, have refused to pay your share of oldest chlds tuition, I waived it all, yet you still won't sign,

It's been 5 years, many offers to settle,
You piece of shit you were sent yet another settlement offer, which was in your favour, but would you sign hell no lets go to trial,which won't start until next year,he is in contempt of court for the 5th time, why so I can kick your stupid sorry ass

Now on to crashing his world

Thank god dumbass lives very far away, I just found out recently that over 10 years ago he sexually assaulted our daughter, it's historical so not sure how charges are going to go, the police asked that I not confront him, yet if it's going to take 2 or 3 years for him to be charged, I don't know that I can keep my mouth shut for that long, it's only been since March and it gets harder every second not to verbally attack him on the situation, thank god he is so far away cause I know if I ever lay eyes on him again, I will attack him

He has lived with multiple women in the last 5 years, I could careless cause I've been trying to get a divorce for over 5 years, it's more in my favour anyway, cause then his living expenses are cut in half as an example if his rent is 1000 he can only claim 500 cause the woman is responsible for her own keep,

This last one has contacted me multiple times, he has cheated on her in the double digits, they have only been together a couple of years, he joins sex sites she slams him on facebook,tells everyone, this has been going on for 2 years, she has even posted on my facebook wall about him joining a sex site, like I care, she seems a bit bat shit crazy,this last time his profile said he enjoyed rimming and more, he really is what he eats,yuck

The last message I received from her was just before my birthday, telling me to let him go that she is dying of cancer and I can have him back when she is dead,I have not wanted him back in 5 years why would I now, I message him once a month with a support reminder, it is him that continues to contact me, asking if we got back together would he need STD testing, the songs he wants to sing to me, it's about every 2-3 weeks that I receive some random message,

I don't like his behavior being projected on me, my birthday was in April he made sure he was the last one to text me (from a secret phone at 4 minutes until midnight) happy birthday hoping my special day was good, and that the kids did something nice for me, he also put 200 in my account for my birthday, he is the king of compartmentalization,

There is a few things that I feel like doing, one is posting that he sexually abused our daughter, let him bring a slander charge,I really wouldn't do that cause I don't want to damage my daughter,if she wants to make it public then that is her choice to make not mine

but I'd really like to post something along the lines of mushroom being kept in the dark and fed shit, with a copy of my bank statement with the deposit, it can be traced to a bank in his city, pictures of the text messages he sends totally unsolicited,

I should mention that he is diagnosed p/a, no treatment after diagnosis, and he runs really strong npd behavior, all the new people in his life believe that I'm horrible and have turned his kids against him, neither young adult has anything to do with him

Would you expos him?


Posts: 383 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Canada
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 5:33 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crickets.. All the way.

Eosing his attack on your daughter could ruin any chance at justice for her.

I realise it's going to be hard. Can you block OW on Facebook, etc.


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 536 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
hemademesingle
♀ Member
Member # 21281
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't expose the child abuse,I'd like to confront him about it, I will not leave this earth without confronting him, with the fact that I know what he did, how he destroyed her the damage he did with his sick selfish acts, she was only a little girl

I'd like to expose his inappropriate behavior towards me, all the unsolicited line crossing text messages, birthday money, that is what I want to expose. I have thought about this for a long time, would I want to know if the man that I lived with was being inappropriate, for me personally yeah I'd want to know,


Posts: 383 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Canada
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

all the new people in his life believe that I'm horrible and have turned his kids against him,

Sounds like the new people in him life wouldn't believe you anyway. Don't go pain shopping.

Do as the police recommend. Don't warn him. Don't out him. Don't give him an opportunity to come up with a plausible story. Let the law put him through hell! Once he's arrested his mug shot and the charges will be public record, so you can post it anywhere and everywhere.

I know three years seems like a long time. But it's best for you to be patient. Focus on your DD's healing and planning the future hell for dumbass douchbag. Plus it may not take the full three years. It will depend on how good a case they have and what the D.A. thinks.

My Dipshit STBX was met by the police when he went to meet OW#? who turned out to be under aged. We were told the police had three years from opening the investigation to bring charges. When nothing happened the first few weeks, we thought they'd wait the full three years, yet six months later they arrested Dipshit. In my case, charges were withdrawn (they can still refile). So maybe it's best if they take their time and get it right.

Good luck, and don't do anything stupid, as tempting as it may be.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1778 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why are you so involved in his life?

Block him from any contact. All of it.

Block his OW from any contact. All of it.

Stop looking for an answer from him, because you won't get one that satisfies you. Stop letting his fuckery ruin your day.

He is a very broken man. Until you say STOP, he won't.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3585 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Topic Posts: 5

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