Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: wnt2chng (45300)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: One year--how was it for you?
Saadnblu
♀ Member
Member # 40361
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

June 11, last year, I read his email. I had had an epiphany: he had been even more remote and mean to me in the preceding weeks. So I read his emails. He had gone off to another country for work, and we had decided that he would miss my son's end of school year events, so that we could join him there for a vacation. The emails I found were full of begging her to come to meet him there BEFORE we arrived. To come back to the city to our apartment (while MY BOY AND I were here in the country), and sleep in our bed with her. And they were also full of talk about the times they spend all over the world together, while he was "working" and I was home taking care of our child. I remember the countless sessions of MC in which I was inevitably blamed for one thing after another --WHILE HE WAS HAVING HIS FUCKING AFFAIR!

It's as though the year of healing didn't happen! I am full of rage and hurt again.

How about it--has anyone else experienced this? Please tell me so I can make it through the next couple weeks!


Me: 58, SAHM
Him: 58, LTA 2.5 years
Married 9 years, together 15
Dday: June 11 2013
DD 9 years
Separated

Posts: 57 | Registered: Aug 2013
Thinkingtoomuch
♀ Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been 3 yrs. out for me, and I'm sure my circumstances are different than yours (together 8, engaged and living together 7 1/2, x at DD 3 yrs. ago, therefore abandoned and life changed suddenly). But I still have triggers around that have changed me and affected my daily life with people and surroundings, and how I'll navigate the rest of my life. People, my job, and past life experiences have all added to the effects.

Realizing the timeline of his behaviors and what you were experiencing and dealing with during the A, or after, at those times is rough. I had gotten weirdly sick that went on and on in such strange ways, I kept trying to figure out what and why I was going thru these symptoms (I'm a very detailed RN and bottom liner scientific problem solver).

So after I got more distance from the whole mess, the pieces of the puzzle started to make sense(?) and I got MAD. Xwf put my health at great risk, and put me thru hell during 2 yrs., and cost me alot of money and stress, made me very ill. That's why I figured the A started long before he said.

I don't get sad too much anymore, but I will allow myself to get mad, just to keep me on my toes. It reminds me just how to view other peoples' treatment of me in everyday life now too.


[This message edited by Thinkingtoomuch at 11:06 AM, June 6th (Friday)]


Posts: 816 | Registered: Apr 2011
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We've all experienced the rage. The rage is what propels you through divorce.

For me, as the years have gone by, the rage is all but gone. All that's left is a sadness that someone I loved and trusted would betray me, not once, but twice.


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found that the days leading up to an Antiversary were harder than the actual date. Stay strong. Vent here. We'll listen.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1853 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Saadnblu
♀ Member
Member # 40361
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much for your replies. I'm just taking it one day at a time now--and hoping I can come through ok. Will try to take care of myself and my son. Just helps to know I'm not alone.


Me: 58, SAHM
Him: 58, LTA 2.5 years
Married 9 years, together 15
Dday: June 11 2013
DD 9 years
Separated

Posts: 57 | Registered: Aug 2013
Angeles85
♀ Member
Member # 42107
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So after I got more distance from the whole mess, the pieces of the puzzle started to make sense(?) and I got MAD.
^^This, after some time when I could actually analyze our relationship I realized so many things that I ignored/didn't see at that moment. I felt soo stupid because I ignored red flags and because I realized he was VERY manipulative. Don't feel bad, it's been 5 months for me and there are days where I feel as if it just happened (I feel sad, angry, etc)
You are not alone.
(((Saadnblu)))

Posts: 136 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Los Angeles
Topic Posts: 6

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.