I had posted on here before about considering separation. I'm the spouse supporting his husband's decision to provide caregiving for his mother in her home, living with the two of them. He had an EA for 2 years, and I still feel mired in the pain from it.
I've looked at a couple of apartments which were one-year commitments and it seemed like too much. Now I've found a place with a two-month sublet - haven't seen it yet, but have plans to do so in the next few days.
I'm still struggling about what the right thing is to do. My h has really treated me badly, from the EA to the other inappropriate relationships, to anger issues, to not taking adequate responsibility for the caregiving or himself.
My mixed feelings come from some guilt about not helping with the caregiving any longer, and some feeling that I'll be losing ground to his mother if I leave here. On the other hand I already have felt like a second class citizen over my time here.
Husband seems passive about my leaving. I'm going away this weekend anyway to try to clear my head and help with the decision. He doesn't seem to feel strongly about saving the marriage, which I have fought for so hard over these many years. However I don't feel I can tell what is happening in his mind, and he says he is going to just see what happens. So passive (!)