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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Psych Ward...and the good news.
Pinkyxo
♀ New Member
Member # 43095
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last week after text wars- because I busted my STBXWHFTG at his job, working after he'd said he'd been fired-
He told me to put a bullet in my head and not to miss Was with him 18 yrs. Stupid me.
He's been emotionally unavailable, emotionally, mentally and financially abusive. Has me isolated from family and friends for the last 10 years. He'd left me Dec 26, 2012, would come and go as he pleased. Staying here whenever he had to golf or play music. Living wherever, with I don't know who?!?!?!! I filed this past January and he'd been totally mindf*cking me ever since.

I had a breakdown and reached out for help. I didn't hurt myself but was afraid and in bad physical shape. The police and ambulance were here before I knew it. I was shaking so bad, I could barely stand up. PTSD from years of abuse. They wisked me away in the ambulance and I spent 5 days in the psych ward.
Which honestly, wasn't a bad thing. Most of the people who were there, were there because of idiot partners, hurting and trying to cope. Like me. Made some wonderful friends and had a few good laughs.

I'd been trying to cope on my own, very anti-pharma meds. They put me on Celexa...it's working!! Scariest part is, they can't control my blood pressure. It was 198/112. Stroke material. I saw 7 GP Dr's in 24 hours because of this. They put me on amlodipine. 5mg at first but upped it to 10mg a day. I'd been telling STBXWHFTG for weeks something wasn't right. I couldn't stop shaking, couldn't eat or sleep. That started when he left Dec 2012 but, got worse after I filed and he was losing control...messing with my head

No sooner was I home from the hospital...10 freaking minutes later, he shows up at my house.
I told him to LEAVE. That I'd just got out of the hospital psych ward and I'm on the verge of a stroke and visabally shaking uncontrollably. His response? Who's going to pay for that??!! Guess he'd been camping and had his phone turned off. He tells me he's going to give me everything and walking away. Yay me. This place is in such disrepair. Stick me with the mess. JERK. I said fine, NOW LEAVE. See you in court. We had a property settlement scheduled for Wed.

My wonderful, Momma Bear cousin was on her way up from Fla to Michigan to protect me. They arrived on Tuesday night, thank God.

She took me to court yesterday and never let me go the whole time. She was able to sit with me up front while in front of the Judge, still hanging onto me

I have to say, I have the most wonderful, compassionate attorney as well. We'd hammered out a settlement before going in front of the Judge. It went like this...Attny says, He says your place is worth $30k. Ummm NOT!! 1970 trailer on 2 acres in the woods. No electric in the back of the house for 3 yrs now, broken window he stuffed a towel in and left it that way all winter...he never fn fixed ANYTHING.
Too busy golfing and playing music in the band with his loser druggie friends. I'm a very smart, (except when it comes to love!), classy woman. I stick out up here like a sore thumb.
My bffs (150 miles away) are Nurses, cops, firemen and one of my best gf's a therapist.
His friends are drunks and druggies. Yup.

Okay, I'm getting off subject again. So, my attny says, he wants $10k to buy him out. He says, lets offer him $5k. So, he comes back with "is it worth $7k to get him out of your life for good?"

Btw, I haven't worked since 2004. Have an inheritance that he's been sucking off of while he had me isolated here. I moved here because he bought a greenhouse, He wanted to live his dream. He never did anything with it, I did.
I expected to have a business up here, Ugh HE SUCKS! I have put in over $126k in the last 10 years. He never took me anywhere, I'd only left the home overnights in the last 10 yrs for 72 hours.(Until last Dec when I took a vacation for myself and went to Fla) I'd bought him vehicles, paid his $13k credit card debt, loved him, was a good wife, gave him everything he wanted. He bought me shit gifts. A deer feeder, drill press, weather station...just what every girl wants right?!?! Never a wedding ring, never jewelry, has taken me out to eat once in the past 5 years. It was ALL about him. Hell, I even took up golf for him because I wanted to be with him more. Happy to say I'm an awesome golfer now...

So okay, yes, it's worth $7k to get rid of this parasite who has been showing me he doesn't love me for years. By the time we got in front of the Judge, agreement was reached.

I pay him $7k. I get all the proceeds of the sale of home/land. My land is amazing, I have beautiful gardens, so they might bulldoze the place but the gardens are a selling point.
He has to keep me on health insurance for the next 60 days and make sure that I am eligible for COBRA after that because of my health situation. He had to sign my Jeep over to me. I'd just bought him a truck in Dec. He got that.
Taxes- I'd recieved our federal tax return check this week. Around $600. We owed state $120 which he'd told me he'd paid. Guess what? Mr irresponsible didn't. That comes out of the $600 now. Asshole. He has to have his shit out of my house by 5pm today!! WAHOO!! Of course, he didn't show up yesterday to do anything. He had to golf. He has 2 weeks to get his broken down van off of my property. (which we're throwing his shit in btw,lol) He had to take the stand and testify that he's unemployed. Wanna bet he has his job back in a couple of weeks? My attny says, can you say JAIL? I did not have to take the stand. Judge was thrilled we were able to work this out. Said had we went to trial things may not have turned out this way.
I'm just glad the abuse is finally over!!
Yesterday my bp went down to 122/92. Can we say TOXIC??

OOH and Karma?? I get half his social security in 15 years. Take that you jerk. You'll never be able to retire. That's what you get for abusing your beautiful loving wife

Cousin, her hubby and I spent the day throwing shit out, taking things to the dump, bagging and boxing things up and getting ready for a moving sale this weekend

I'm getting ready for my new beginning. I am moving from Michigan to Venice Fla where I am going to thrive. I love the outdoors, I can garden there year round, golf, I want to run on the beach (run like forest!!) I want to breathe, be my beautiful, loving self, I want to work...like, 3 jobs!! I don't care. I need to be around people, do my artwork, I want to live!
No more parasite, killing my heart and soul daily.

Everything has fallen into place. I am blessed. My friends, family and neighbors have all rallied around me with love, support and protection.

My FB status says, "Divorced. No more abuse"
60 likes already <3

Oh, and a funny. My bff cop? He is so proud of me. Has stood beside me and knows all I have put up with over the years. EXFTG? Lost a front tooth within the past couple weeks. Bff says $7k? Oh wow, maybe he can buy himself a tooth now!! SNORT!! Still dying over that one.

Another friend says...he lost a tooth? Well, he'll really fit in up here now!! lmao

Buh bye you toothless fn loser parasite gorilla!!

Love you guys!! I want to add now that this is over, I've been here for years. Had to change
my sn. I know and love you all even though I didn't post very often. My first marriage also ended in infidelity. Now that I'm past all of this? I hope I can help you more. In fact, that's also a new goal. I've read and learned from all of your stories and you have helped to get me through this. My turn to give back.

Love, Pinkyxo

[This message edited by Pinkyxo at 6:42 AM, June 5th (Thursday)]


One foot in front of the other

Posts: 30 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Lost & Isolated
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 6:53 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a story! FTTG (FTToothlessG).


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 660 | Registered: Aug 2013
Pinkyxo
♀ New Member
Member # 43095
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hee Hee Thanks KG201!! Busted out in a huge smile!!


One foot in front of the other

Posts: 30 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Lost & Isolated
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CHEERS Pinkyxo!!!!!!!!

What a great GREAT story! Not just surviving,
Thriving baby!
Love it!

Will you be my BF? Like, Forever?

You. Are. Fantastic.


Posts: 6533 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Compartmented
Member
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah Pinky!!!! You are such a strong person!!! I'm so happy for you!

Posts: 1239 | Registered: Aug 2010
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's strange how sometimes the best thing we can do is check ourselves into the hospital. These crazy making men just aren't worth it. Good luck on your new beginning! FL is beautiful!


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1647 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to live!

And that, my friends, is how you kick arse and take names!

Losing yourself happens so slowly - exactly how a parasite slowly takes over. The amazing thing is that rediscovery can feel like it happens in an instant. For me it was after I hit rock bottom and I had my first big belly laugh about this whole fucked up situation. All of a sudden the clouds parted and I could actually smell the sunshine in my skin, in my hair. It was amazing. With it came the realisation that I had been given a second chance.

Losing a tooth just about sent me over the edge. I'm doubled over laughing over here!!


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5533 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so thankful you posted about the psych ward!

After seeing 12,000 text messages between my XWH and my "friend" over a year's time, I went to an local pscyh facility and went outpatient for 2 weeks. 9-4. HEAVEN!!! Everyone there was normal except for the shit that has happened to them!!! Affairs, one man's grandson had just died, a cop, etc etc. Most supportive place with quality counselors. Really helped jumpstart my healing. Funny that a psych ward can bring reality back into our lives!!! LOL but, that is what they are there for.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2058 | Registered: Jan 2012
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are so going to thrive Pinkyxo!!!


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 716 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know exactly what you mean about the psych ward, Pinky. I had to spend a week after my suicide attempt a couple years ago. I read, I listened to my iPod, I played cards, I had a few counselling sessions, and I cried for the first time since I was a kid.

It was easily the most relaxing vacation I've ever had. I still had a lot of work to do after walking out of there (and still do), but I felt like the slate had been wiped clean.

Congratulations on how it all worked out for you!


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1828 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You did it. You survived. I am so happy for you!! Enjoy your beautiful new beginning!!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2145 | Registered: Oct 2012
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Brava!!! You are on the right path, walking in the sunshine, pinky.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25008 | Registered: Aug 2011
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats - I'm 99% certain living in the warm Fl sun will do wonders for your BP.

You go girl. We need more and more of these awesome stories for SI.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8218 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Pinkyxo
♀ New Member
Member # 43095
Default  Posted: 6:02 AM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you my SI friends!! I'll be back later to address everyone's comments.

Yard sale today from 8-1. I already sold some things last night to neighbors and friends.
Yay me!!

A funny...ExFTTG (thx KG201, snort!) He was here yesterday to get his things. I was totally unemotional with him...so proud of myself

He asked me, what are you doing with the little sailboat? I said, selling it. It's advertised in the yard sale. Later, he asks, How much do you want for the sailboat? I said $100.
He says...just take it out of the tax returns. I said..UM NO. Your attny has that and is going to split it. Dumbass. He still thinks I'm stoopid. Argh!!

Sooo...he comes back later and gives me $100!!
Lmao. I made him buy our sailboat!! Snort!!

I'll be back later...busy morning, gotta run!

Pinkyxo


One foot in front of the other

Posts: 30 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Lost & Isolated
Topic Posts: 14

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