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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Affair free for 7 years and happy for it!
stupidgurl
♀ Member
Member # 36763
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

7 years affair free!

I love my H more than anything, I may bitch about him but he ain't that bad , in fact he is better than ever these days. I am not ever tempted, vulnerable, or capable of cheating anymore. I made up my mind to be faithful, I keep that promise every day and I am proud of that.

I just want to shout out to all the rest of you who have kept up the promise you made after D-day to never hurt the person you love again, and applaud you for the good you do everyday, it is hard to get back into a bad marriage and turn it around, staying takes a lot of courage, and staying faithful takes a lotta love for the person you may have thought you no longer loved, but probably really just grew apart from.

Some of you struggle, you maybe are new and in the fog, but face reality, you cannot have both. You can have your spouse who will be true to you if you just get your shit together and own up to what you've done, or you can have your AP and let your BS go to live a stress free life without you. Stop stringing your BS along, they deserve to be happy, and that happiness either is you recommitting or getting the eff out of their lives. I am betting your BS will still love you unless they say otherwise, and the AP is probably scummier than anything you can scrape off the bottom of a filthy toilet. I recommend pulling your heads out of your asses and keeping your family together folks because, kids need an intact home more than anything.

Please FWS's feel free to boast and post your achievements, we get to hear the slip ups everyday, but I want to hear from those of you who have been true to your spouse since D-day, give advice on how you've kept faithful, and what you want to tell all the newbies.


me WW/BW-31
him BH/WH- 31

2002/3 (him) EA

PA(me)-Nov 2007

R


Posts: 132 | Registered: Sep 2012
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great post!! Thank you so much for sharing your journey and experience...really great job!


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197825 | Registered: May 2002
BrighterFuture
♀ Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've never posted on this forum before, matter of fact I rarely read the posts in this forum but your post caught my eye. I'm proud of WS like you. You've done the work my ex never did. You recommitted to your spouse knowing it would be hard and that takes real courage. Continue being strong. I wish you more infidelity free years.


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 348 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
stupidgurl
♀ Member
Member # 36763
Default  Posted: 1:09 AM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks BrighterFuture, I am glad to have caught your attention.

It is hard to know if your WS is going to keep fighting for the marriage, and do the right thing, and we all have heard the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" but I hope the knowledge that some WS's do change is a comfort to some BS's out there.

As for me I intend to continue to remain faithful for all the years I get to share with my H!

[This message edited by stupidgurl at 1:09 AM, May 28th (Wednesday)]


me WW/BW-31
him BH/WH- 31

2002/3 (him) EA

PA(me)-Nov 2007

R


Posts: 132 | Registered: Sep 2012
BrokenButTrying
♀ Member
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 2:02 AM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's amazing SG! Thanks for sharing.


Me - 27
Him - 27
Madhatters

My Ddays - 01/10 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.


Posts: 1235 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
helpemegetoverit
♀ Member
Member # 30242
Default  Posted: 5:33 AM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great post! This holiday weekend marked the end of PA for me, marking 3 years. While I can honestly say I will never do that to anyone ever again, myself included, these posts are great for new waywards and others to see and I know I have to keep working on myself but it really feels good to be free of that life and be able to show friends and family how I have changed every day. Doing the work to feel happy and healthy is so rewarding. Thanks for posting!

[This message edited by helpemegetoverit at 5:37 AM, May 28th (Wednesday)]


Me: WW
Him: BH

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you."
John Green


Posts: 882 | Registered: Nov 2010
SurprisinglyOkay
♀ Member
Member # 36684
Default  Posted: 5:47 AM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


FWS me 36 (recovering addict)
BS him 39 AFrayedKnot
Together 7 years
2 children


"Your secrets keep you sick"


Posts: 1134 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: 221B
D1rtyCh34t3r
♂ Member
Member # 19405
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just a bit over six years affair-free myself. We still have issues to work out (posted a blog update and thread a few minutes ago), but am fully committed to my beautiful wife.

For the FWS who are still reeling, the best thing you can do is come absolutely clean as soon as possible. Healing can't start until then.


FWS since 4-28-08
BS b3tr4y3d
2 boys, 8 and 10
DDay1 - 4/28/08 - Caught in the act
DDay2 - 5/2/08 - OW2 revealed, extent of OW1 admitted
DDay3 - 8/1-2/08 - The whole sordid mess admitted
Fully committed to Reconciliation with my beautiful wife.

Posts: 341 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Houston
sunnyrain
♀ Member
Member # 30164
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Looking forward to the day when I can post similar words!

Major congrats!


"I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."

Posts: 382 | Registered: Nov 2010
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BGF here - Just wanted to say how much I respect the words you've written. It's really refreshing to see Wayward's come forward and admit their faults and see all the effort they make to help heal the damage they have caused, and to heal themselves. Congratulations to you and your H on your journey. I wish you the best in the future!!!


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
ThatGuyNoMore
♂ Member
Member # 42899
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations stupidgurl!

I'm a newbie here and it's comforting to hear tales of success once in a while. My BS focuses on the hundreds of horror stories of false R, the backsliding, the failures, the daily dose of "once a cheater, always a cheater" and "RUN from that guy, NOW!" I may have been that selfish guy who lied and betrayed, but I will not be that guy anymore. I will be a success story like you, whether my poor BS decides to S/D or stick around a while and see me become the man I should have been.

Thanks for the inspiration and the hope. I really needed it today.

[This message edited by ThatGuyNoMore at 9:14 PM, May 28th (Wednesday)]


me 48
BS 47
Married 22 years, 4 kids
D-Day 3/5/14
I lied to everyone, including myself.

Posts: 170 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: US
familyfirst
♀ Member
Member # 42651
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

it is hard to get back into a bad marriage and turn it around, staying takes a lot of courage, and staying faithful takes a lotta love for the person you may have thought you no longer loved, but probably really just grew apart from

Thank you so much for saying this. It feels like a relief to have someone else acknowledge that.


Posts: 205 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 12

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