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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: They are so in love...they moved out of state together
BrighterFuture
♀ Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got unsolicited information that my ex who moved out of state is still with the OW, and apparently she moved out of state too. How nice! They're so much in love

Anyways, I told my sister who got this info from somebody else, not to involve herself in that kind of conversation anymore, and not to tell me. I had blocked my ex from my fb account. This info is a small setback emotionally, but I'm handling it ok.

ETA: Btw, he texted me today and said he wants to Skype with our 2yr old son. What should I tell him considering he moved out of state last minute without prior notice?

[This message edited by BrighterFuture at 7:11 PM, May 23rd (Friday)]


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 349 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would tell him (as you don't know he's moved out of town) that skype isn't going to work with a 2yo who can't sit still that long. He may set up a time to come take him to the park for a couple of hours this weekend.

You know he can't...but he doesn't know you know. It shows you have offered him time. It's him not taking advantage of it.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5543 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
BrighterFuture
♀ Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did exactly that. I told him he's welcome to come see him whenever he wants. His response was ok.


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 349 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:35 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, so he's just not going to bother and tell you he's moved out of state. I wouldn't let him know that you know. Keep playing his game!

This does not surprise me btw.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4792 | Registered: Feb 2008
BrighterFuture
♀ Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 11:49 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Peridot, I knew he moved out of state, but he told me a day or two prior to moving. He now tells me to give him the kids. That he will take good care of them


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 349 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ummmm, no. Matter of fact hell no.
What does your D paperwork say about the kids going out of state? How old are your kids?
It was his choice to move; actions meet consequences.
I'm the last person to tell anyone to deny a child seeing a parent, but out of state at a young age. Nope.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2342 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Read your D paperwork carefully. Thee may be a clause about moving more than 50 or 100 miles. There should also be specific information about visitation and holidays. Follow it to a T. If it specifies he gets visitation 1 day a week and every 1st and 3rd weekend, then that is what he gets. If he wants the kids at another time, too bad, so sad. If he is supposed to give you a month notice for summer visitation, then stick to that boundary.

Moving without telling you (or giving you no notice) was a dick thing to do. A cowardly thing. Conflict avoidance to the max.

My X moved overseas without tell me or DD (who was 15 at the time). I figured it out almost immediately but DD did not. But when she found out she was pissed. (note this asshole previously got M and did not tell us )

What your conflict avoiding X does not understand is that there are consequences to his actions and no about of avoidance will make them go away. If he wants to change the visitation schedule, then he can get a L and ask the court to change it. Thing is, conflict avoiders rarely do this because they will then have to face the conflict. Until there is a new court order, follow the current court order completely.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Topic Posts: 7

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