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Newest Member: roseyposey (44693)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Moving questions and issues!!
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so frustrated right now.

Good news: WH has agreed to move in with his mom for right now.

Bad news: he still needs to come here to pack, spend time with the kids, etc.

Additional bad news: WH announced today that he wants to/plans to move out while I am out of town with the kids.

I don't want that to happen for soooo many reasons.

I don't want to be on vacation and come home to the house half empty and in disarray. I want to be able to put things to rights before the kids come back to the house.

Why can't WH GET this??? He thinks moving while we are gone is a perfect idea.

I don't know what to do. I'm considering offering to pay to have his things stored for a couple of weeks until his place is ready. Does anyone have any advice on how much it would cost to store his furniture/boxes for a couple of weeks? Do they just keep it in the truck and park the trailer somewhere or what?

Please share your wisdom!


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1832 | Registered: Aug 2013
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Check out PODS, they bring the unit to you, you pack it with your stuff. They collect it when it's full and deliver it to your new place on a certain day.

I just moved his stuff to a storage unit, paid 1 month, I left 1 key with the manager (I trusted her) and mailed the other key and all the storage info (gate code, unit number) and a letter trilling him I paid the first months rent. He had 1 month to empty the storage locker of his belongings or he could pay the fee. His choice!

Then I changed the locks on the house and I went away for the weekend.

He could still break in but he would look stupid not knowing any of the codes or alarm password! He's all about not looking stupid!

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5014 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 5:28 AM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can you get movers to come and pack the PODS? There is no way we can move some of this stuff on our own.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1832 | Registered: Aug 2013
neverbeokay
Member
Member # 8275
Default  Posted: 5:42 AM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Absolutely! I have had movers move furniture from one room of my house to another. In your case it would be money well spent.

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2005
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah. I did that.

I came home to a trashed house and half my stuff gone. He emptied the pantry.

I even still have a bunch of stuff of his he didn't take because the van was full of my stuff.

Don't do that.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 491 | Registered: Nov 2013
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm considering offering to pay to have his things stored for a couple of weeks until his place is ready.
Money well spent, I think. Where I live, you can rent a storage space month to month and some storage places offer help in moving. A large storage space here is about $250/month.

How long will you be gone? I don't know if you have the right to change the locks but I would look into that. I would hate that he would have access to the home while you are gone.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2145 | Registered: Oct 2012
TrustedHer
♂ Member
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you get your pods from Uhaul, and reserve them on their website, they'll offer you a choice of local movers to help you load them, for a fee.


Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5139 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another vote for "hell to the no!" Make him move while you are there or put his stuff in storage. If you can, change the locks before you leave town and take pictures of everything in your house. You want documented proof of how you left your home prior to your vacation. Have someone there as a witness when you take the pictures and take some video as well. It may come in handy in case you have to take him to court for damaging property or stealing some of your stuff. Anything that has value to you like family heirlooms, jewelry, clothing, pictures, whatever, take it out of the house and leave it with family or friends prior to your trip. That is the only way you can make sure he doesn't take or destroy it when you are gone.

It's a pain but better safe than sorry. Assume anything left in the house will be stolen by your WH if you can't change the locks. Even locks won't stop him from breaking in. Not trying to scare you just trying to pass on some advice that was given to me. I sat in a chair and watched my STBXWW take her shit out with the help of her family then promptly changed the locks.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
D hopefully official any day now, off to check the mail again.

Posts: 1895 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
idontknowwhy5
♂ Member
Member # 42648
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My soon to be x wife divorced her previous husband. While moving out when he wasn't there she took all the toiletries, literally everything, out of spite.

I thought it was hilarious when she first told me. I don't think it's funny anymore though.


DDays- too many

Status - In D.


Posts: 90 | Registered: Mar 2014
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He left generic brand canned meat (not even real SPAM) and a can of sardines.

I love this picture.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 491 | Registered: Nov 2013
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you two decided what he can take and what he can't? Make sure you do, and have it written down and signed by both of you before you do so.

I like the pod idea, and change the locks before you go.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5416 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
brokenblackbird
♀ Member
Member # 29541
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He left generic brand canned meat (not even real SPAM) and a can of sardines.

@Littlefoggy, who is he, the Grinch?


Posts: 758 | Registered: Sep 2010
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@Littlefoggy, who is he, the Grinch?

Pretty close! His heart is definitely too small.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 491 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 13

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