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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: telling our kids tonight
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If both of you agree to wait until school ends, that's fine. Be prepared with an answer though if the children ask before school ends. How old are they? Most children have a sense that something is wrong and will blame themselves when they don't know the truth.

Start arranging for therapy asap. It may take a while to get an appointment so don't wait until they are told.

Hang in there. It's gonna be tough.


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2271 | Registered: Oct 2012
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just curious what they really need to know? Guess it depends on how old they are.

My kids are elementary age, and they wanted practicality. Where are we gonna sleep? When am I gonna see mom? When am I gonna see dad? What about my stuff?

I think the biggest thing is to let them know that everything is going to be okay. I NEVER lie to my kids, but I let them know when I'm struggling, that things are tough, but I'm strong, they are strong, and for anything thrown our way, we are gonna handle it.

I saw a poster once who mentioned that maybe during school is better so their life still has some routine and normalcy. And it gives them a chance to get out of the house and NOT worry about things, which they shouldn't be any way..

Whatever changes are happening in the marriage and in the family structure, keep them updated and informed, but above all reassure them that things will be okay..

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 4:01 PM, May 22nd (Thursday)]


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
slicerboy
♂ Member
Member # 22202
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our sons are 14 and 15 and yes they probably see some of the tension in the house, but my WS is great at showing a poker face while at home.

We haven't been having shouting matches, just many a late night having conversations. We've been having some conversations on the phone while we both are commuting. But she's done working on it so we haven't been discussing it this week.

Limbo land


Me: Realizing my worth
Her: Escaping

Two children, innocent victims (14 & 15)

When I look back, we both hurt each other in so many ways and our lack of honesty and maturity coupled with poor communication led us to where we are today


Posts: 810 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Minneapolis
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:30 AM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her latest and most destructive disclosure is that she feels indiferrent about me and she shared that she had/has a crush on someone.

Dammit, why are people so fucking insensitive sometimes?!?! My heart just hurts for you.

Get your hoover repellant out. Someone this self centered is going to claw at you like crazy as they realize that they are skipping down into the abyss.

We'll all keep saying it with you - YOU DESERVE BETTER.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
slicerboy
♂ Member
Member # 22202
Default  Posted: 5:47 AM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

limbo land sucks - 4 nights of avoidance and hoovering. I'll never understand how her mind works.

She doesn't want to stay married, but has seemed to do nothing in that regard.

So it's the weekend and I'm waiting for her to initiate conversation, I will steer it towards discussing D and finances and parenting time... and will update/vent here


Me: Realizing my worth
Her: Escaping

Two children, innocent victims (14 & 15)

When I look back, we both hurt each other in so many ways and our lack of honesty and maturity coupled with poor communication led us to where we are today


Posts: 810 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Minneapolis
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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