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User Topic: What to make of this
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WW and I are out with DD and take her to the park.

Well as we are playing with her, my WW starts rubbing my arm and saying I look hot in my shirt. And start rubbing me even more saying I look sexy. Then later she start giving me a massage from the back seat...

Then later she asked if she wanted to play Jenga with her next week if she gets it.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi LostSamurai,
I don't know all the details of your story, but it sounds like your WW is interested in being *closer* with you.


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Dec 2012
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it is just more love bombing...


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely. What happened to telling her that touching you is inappropriate?

Stay the course LS. I'm afraid you are setting yourself up for more pain. Worried about you.

yop


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2187 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Given your history, it sounds like she's trying to hoover you back into an unhealthy relationship with her.

What's she doing WRT - IC? NC? Coming clean? Owning what she did? Taking full responsibility? Answering all your questions without defensiveness, blameshifting, gaslighting, etc.? Changing her day-to-say behavior from cheater to good partner?

From what you've said about your W, she finds it a lot easier to give sex than to give honesty, and R requires honesty.

If she has actually become honest, however, that does open up new options.

[This message edited by sisoon at 8:27 PM, May 18th (Sunday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10345 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dude. Why are you and WW doing *family* stuff together? Are you trying to torture yourself?

As for Jenga.....N.O.


You 'called' it....love-bombing.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8075 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I let her touch me, but I don't respond to her notions like they mean anything to me.

I stop asking questions a ways back.
She hasn't too me demonstrated real remorse and try to work her way back in my heart. At the same time I am not entitled to anything.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not torturing myself. I don't see us getting back together. I told her that. I see it as spendign time with my daughter.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LS, the scenario you described under the circumstances that you have indicated....is torture for you.

This woman blew up the marriage that you believed was going to be your 'happily ever after' without your permission.
She does not get to stroke you. She does not get to tell you that you look 'hot'. She does not get to massage you. She does not get to do 'game night' with you.

Every time she does ANY one of these things, you are taking an emotional hit (whether you realize it or not). Spend all kinds of quality time with your DD.....without your stbx WW in attendance.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8075 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ohhh LS...I know it.prob feels good, I know when your deprived its nice to get some positive attention but I just keep thinking of how badly she's hurt you in the past and she's been a major manipulator with your feelings. Maybe she feels you getting over her and she's trying to restake her claim...be careful.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5130 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 10

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