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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: This man is 69 shades of stupid
whiteflower99
♀ Member
Member # 13937
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

how the hell do I stop this or can I? He has withdrawn all of the $$$ from his 401K. He did NOT ROLL IT OVER TO AN IRA. He has WITHDRAWN it. Which means comes tax time, *I* am going to be hit with part of the liability as we are still legally married.
Can I do anything other than ask him not to?


What are you pretending not to know?

me FBS
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way; no longer defining mysel


Posts: 1746 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Greensboro, NC
soveryweary
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW! I know when my ex withdrew some money from his 401K, I had to sign.
Are you still married?


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
whiteflower99
♀ Member
Member # 13937
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. The account is in his name only. It isn't that much money but it's the damned point of the thing. My BFF says he's burning through everything so when the D is final there won't be anything to split.
He's not buying any assets, just spending it all.


What are you pretending not to know?

me FBS
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way; no longer defining mysel


Posts: 1746 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Greensboro, NC
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Talk to a lawyer yesterday.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25716 | Registered: Aug 2011
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd be pissed also, but don't freak out too much. That money (including the taxes) can be offset in final division of assets.

He IS stupid.


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But really, do talk to a lawyer.
FTG.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I withdrew my 401K during the divorce. My lawyer said I could do it, but I had to use the money only for living expenses..

FuckTard hadn't been paying child support AT ALL, so I don't feel bad even a little.. I didn't share one cent of it with him. I was sad to lose my retirement, but I needed the money..

Definitely talk to a lawyer..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2304 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My BFF says he's burning through everything so when the D is final there won't be anything to split.

Which is exactly why people are advised to file ASAP.

Send him an email (today) telling him that you expect him to give you half + the tax/penalty hit of his unnecessary withdrawal.

Lawyer up. NOW.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8075 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
myowndystopia
♀ Member
Member # 41340
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you already filed? I know when I filed we were given a restraining order for doing just such as this. We also have to keep all of our receipts in case we question each other's spendings. And like everyone said- if you haven't seen a lawyer.... Go.


Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele


Posts: 408 | Registered: Nov 2013
Caretaker1
♂ Member
Member # 42777
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG why would anyone lose their retirement over a divorce

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2014
I think I can
♀ Member
Member # 17756
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can't you file "Married Filing Separately"? Then he would have to pay the penalties.


I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.

Posts: 8826 | Registered: Jan 2008
IrishGirlVA
♀ Member
Member # 39694
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And I believe there may be something called an "Injured Spouse" form you can complete at the same time taxes are being prepared. Or perhaps you have to wait to be penalized first and then you can file that form.

I'm very sorry you are married to such a selfish ass!

I'm very happy you are divorcing such a selfish ass!


Me, the "B": 41yo
Him, the "W": 38yo
DDay: June 2013
Status: Over

Posts: 297 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Virginia
mamazen
♀ Member
Member # 42137
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine liquidated his too…and stole every available penny from our joint credit margin (almost 100K). And I'm the responsible one who's max'd my retirement input all these years…and he's going to get half. Why *not* empty his? "I'll have hers to make up for it, no problem….easy street."

The lightbulb is going on about this---he has so many "secret" expenses, never had $ during the marriage and let me pay for most everything….mmm….and he recently admitted liaisons with prostitutes (both sexes)…I am now sure he was doing this during the marriage.

They really read from the same textbook, don't they?

Good luck whiteflower.


mamazen


me 56
WH 57
married 19 years
separated since 8/2013
D FINAL! Sept 10 2014
D-day Dec 21 2013 (after separation)
2 sons 15 and 12
OW = family friend and WH work colleague, going on many years (I was clueless)


Posts: 73 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: canada
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can't you file "Married Filing Separately"? Then he would have to pay the penalties.

That's how we filed our taxes.. I paid the penalty when I withdrew it, and I had to put it down as income on my tax return, so I paid the taxes there too. It didn't affect him or his taxes at all..

OMG why would anyone lose their retirement over a divorce

I don't understand this question.. I didn't WANT to lose my retirement, but I had the kids over 90% of the time and was getting NO child support from him. I needed the money, and I would have had to split half of it with him if I didn't withdraw it..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2304 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
I think I can
♀ Member
Member # 17756
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you filed for divorce yet, whiteflower? If so, isn't it illegal to dissipate assets?


I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.

Posts: 8826 | Registered: Jan 2008
NotThatGirl
♀ Member
Member # 14852
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

File as Married but Separate and ask for the Innocent Spouse Relief to CYA. Some info about Innocent Spouse relief can be read here - http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc205.html


"Don't wish. Don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart." - Elphaba, "Wicked"

Posts: 413 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: GA
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

t/j @BG --
I didn't WANT to lose my retirement

I think the previous comment was directed at WF's stbx specifically since he seems to have closed out his 401k for no reason other than to not have to give her half and is *wasting* the money....(just my interpretation anyways).....
--end t/j


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8075 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 17

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