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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Parenting~doing things right
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Content  Posted: 10:22 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At the last soccer game of the season yesterday (the one where I needed to convince ex that YES, YOU DO NEED TO BRING DS TO HIS LAST SOCCER GAME BECAUSE HE WANTS TO PLAY!!!), I was sitting next to my almost 11 year old dd whilst ex took ds to the bathroom.

DD: Mom, why don't you call Dad bad names?

Me: What do you mean?

DD: After everything he did, why don't you call him names?

Me: Because it is in the past. That is not how I choose to act. We are your parents and we love you and that is all that matters now.

DD: OK


Fudge…I wanted to cry right then, but I didn't.
Not only is there dating like a grownup, but there is parenting like a grownup too.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4051 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3019 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cmego - this makes me wonder if he's calling you bad names when he has the kids? Or am I reading too much into this?

((((hugs))))


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24460 | Registered: Aug 2011
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NIK~ I don't think so, but maybe.

I took it as "Mommy has a right to call Daddy bad names, so why doesn't she??" from my too smart daughter.

She is the one always struggling with the D, and was writing poetry the other night about her Dad. It was titled, "Why won't you tell me?" and the poem was about why her Dad won't tell her when he leaves to travel. (A bone of contention for me. He travels and never tells us where he goes…)

Either way, I'm not going to name call him. Not in front of her at least.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4051 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 4:36 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NIK that was my first thought too. I hope he's not calling you bad names.

OMG I hear you on the travel. It's my biggest bone of contention as well. It's in our court orders stating he has to give me 7 days notice. His reply is "my employer doesn't agree with that" Um that's not for your employer to decide it's court ordered dickhead! So now he doesn't even tell me. He leaves the country and now doesn't even tell me, because he's only a parent 2 days a fortnight or when he chooses to be.

I guess dickhead is a bad name

Hope your DD is ok.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1286 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:28 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not only is there dating like a grownup, but there is parenting like a grownup too.

Too true. It's so nice to get these little gifts.

My 6 year old came out with "Daddy likes you" today (when asked I have said I do not like daddy and we are not friends).

I said "that's nice" then she said "but he doesn't act like he likes you. Like that witch in Tangled who pretended to be Rapunzel's mum and says nice things but DOES not nice things. Y'know?". Then she said that even though I don't like daddy I don't say or do not nice things to him.

I said I understand. We talked about how everyone chooses what they want to say/do - I don't need to say or do not nice things to anyone even if I don't like them. It would make me feel yucky so that's why I don't do it.

They really are so much cleverer than we give them credit for.

[This message edited by SBB at 11:12 AM, May 19th (Monday)]


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5455 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 6

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