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Newest Member: IWantToSurvive (44222)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Today would have been...
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

..our 16th anniversary. 3 years ago I was devastated that it was the last one. Divorce was impending and we were in house separation. He totally ignored the date, it's significance and me. 2 years ago, I was so very sad and still wondering "what could have been". 1 year ago, I had accepted and was moving forward yet still wondering "why"?
Today, I remember the date. I have a new life now and I am enjoying it. I am proud of myself and how far I have come. My sight is firmly fixed on my goals and I know what I have to do to make them happen. I have an interview nest week for a step up from my current position and I have several other opportunities in front of me should I not get this one (they are all higher steps also). I am doing well in school currently have a B in accounting and I actually enjoy my time in class. (Yep, I am an accounting nerd)
My oldest IrishLad, told me that he and his best friend/roommate were talking last week and the BF asked "Why is your Dad so grumpy and IrishLass is so happy? It was your Dad who wanted the D". Oldest IrishLad said "Because she is taking time to take care of herself and she is just having fun right now". That is the truth of it. The karma bus may not be big and have a huge shock and awe impact. Sometimes it moves slowly and runs them over and over until they are just lying in the road no longer trying to get away. They just take it.
I still find it very ironic that the single life that he so desperately wanted is the one he gave to me. I will not waste the opportunity nor spend it with people who are not conducive to my healing.
There is hope, there is life and there is a future beyond the devastation of infidelity. I would not have believed it had I not lived it myself.


Me: 45 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 22, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1674 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
justjim
♂ Member
Member # 41150
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You've been an inspiration to me since I was dumped off, abandoned and crying on this doorstep. I am just beginning my walk down this road, and I know you are way ahead of me.

Just keep leaving these bread crumbs (actually, I think they're CAKE!), and I'll find my way too.

Thank you.


Follow your BRAIN.
Your HEART is stupid as shit.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Oct 2013
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is hope, there is life and there is a future beyond the devastation of infidelity. I would not have believed it had I not lived it myself.
I love "It is my anniversary and I'm doing awesome" posts.

I love that your children can give testimony to your journey and growth and healing. Bravo, IrishLass, bravo.

(and I loved this so much, I added it to the SI quote thread)

[This message edited by better4me at 12:12 PM, May 18th (Sunday)]


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3004 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I remember coming here after D and wishing I had found this place so much sooner. I was abandoned, bereft and felt thrown away. I had so many good people respond to my posts and I gained so much strength here. I hoped in the early days that at some point I would be able to pay it forward. To give hope, strength, humor and faith to others. I am humbled to know that I am doing that now. I still have my moments when I need all of you more than I am helping but those have become less and less. I still think twice about posting and asking for support or giving support due to times when I wonder if my input is actually of value. Those days become less and less, so ready or not you may hear more form me.
I could never ever have come so far without all of you. Thank you


Me: 45 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 22, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1674 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Helen of Troy
♀ Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From one nerd to another; keep on growing.
Be proud you are doing all of this as a mom to FIVE!

Posts: 4677 | Registered: Dec 2009
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage



"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4540 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:18 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love this!!

I was just thinking recently about the anniversary date - as it was also S date I see it as my the day my freedom started. I suspect if it wasn't also S date it would be a date significant to my healing because if I look to where I'd be if I was still in that M compared to where I am now - well, the thought actually makes me shudder.

I have a quiet chuckle about the irony of who exactly was set free on his destructive quest for freedom. Who knew? Once the wave of hurt, shock, grief and disbelief passed I found myself free of a cage I didn't even know I was in, one that had become my normal that I didn't even see it until it was gone.

I see it now - especially on the anniversary.

Here's to you, friend. For your wise words, camaraderie and support. Having you all in the trenches helped me see that there was a life to be had beyond all of that noise.

Freedom and Peace. Blessed peace. It is so underrated.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5399 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
traicionada
♀ Member
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 7:06 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the single life that he so desperately wanted is the one he gave to me
So ironic but true one can't help to


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the single life that he so desperately wanted is the one he gave to me


I know, it is very ironic. I do enjoy the no tip toeing on eggshells. The ability to spend time with friends and family without someone moping about wanting to go. Being able to go to school and study without being made to feel guilty for not spending time with someone. I enjoy that I can make plans for myself and not worry if it will cause distress to anyone else. I didn't want nor ask for that freedom but I have found that I like it. I like having the remote control and being able to watch the shows that interest me.


Me: 45 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 22, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1674 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Topic Posts: 9

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