Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: waugh (44311)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Tonight, I stood up for myself!
selfrespect911
♀ Member
Member # 42746
Funny  Posted: 2:13 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a rough week. I've posted a lot. But tonight I did what I could in my shitty situation to stand up for me.

In March, I lived with WH knowing he had taken A underground. I made it difficult for him, but more or less realised in the end all I did was enable to situation. I confronted him at the beginning of April after being psychologically decimated, and sent him to his parents.

He was NC with her for barely a month before I found out Wednesday they slept together in our home while I was on holiday.

So tonight, I had his mum around. I told her, as calmly as possible (while visibly shaking and trying to control my voice) that he cruelly removed all my things/decorations from our home and threw them on my bed and shut the door, and that he had her over and they slept together. He was meant to move back this week, and I told her I cannot endure that torture again. As long as he is seeing her, he can live with you.

And you know what? For the first time, his mum stopped defending him. She stopped questioning how I knew. She finally listened and agreed with me. She said, I do not blame you for not wanting to endure that. I cannot handle the amount of disrespect he is showing you in all aspects. If someone treated his sister like this, he would not be having it. I'm sorry there's not much I can do, the actions and choices have to come from him. But I can speak to him and let him know you will not live with it.

This is coming from umbilical cord mother who thought her son did no wrong, and made excuses for his anxiety and that he 'doesn't love me' and that she can clean up his messes. For the first time, she finally stopped defending him. She was always supportive of me, she loves me, and she's like my own mother (my own I barely speak to), but now I finally feel like she *gets* it. I said it has nothing to do with NOT being in love - it's now about how he cannot and has not respected me as a HUMAN since the beginning of the affair.

And regardless of her reaction or what follows, I feel a little prouder of myself, that I STOOD UP FOR MYSELF. I feel like I've gained the power of self-respect back!

I suggested that maybe now, if they choose to keep seeing each other, OW and WH can crash and burn on their own. One thing I know in my heart of hearts, deep in my gut, is that their "love" is not love and will not last. But as long as it was kept secretive and exciting, it still had fuel. Maybe now they can burn out together.

Anyway. Small victory. I'll take it. Thanks for listening.


BS 26
WH 32
Nov-?? A with his Ex

EA DDay: 31 Jan, I moved to in-laws
PA DDAY: 23 Feb
DDay 3: 13 May. Back in A.

9 Mar: I moved back. A went underground.
9 Apr: He moved into parents.
14 Apr: Me NC with WH.


Posts: 148 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: UK
evephoebe1
♀ Member
Member # 36923
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you! That took guts to do, to tell your MIL where you stood in all this.


Me: Survivor! BS (47)
Him: WH (45)
2 awesome kids, 13 & 16

Posts: 92 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: evephoebe1
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm proud of you!! I've heard after the initial stand, it gets easier. Here's to the next one.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 4740 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
miracle1963
♀ New Member
Member # 43461
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well done for standing up for yourself! I'm sure the two of them will be cheating on each other before too long! Glad your MIL showed your some human decency and respect. Be well!


"The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty." St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Posts: 5 | Registered: May 2014 | From: FL
selfrespect911
♀ Member
Member # 42746
Default  Posted: 5:17 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you :) It sucks but I'm doing what best for myself!


BS 26
WH 32
Nov-?? A with his Ex

EA DDay: 31 Jan, I moved to in-laws
PA DDAY: 23 Feb
DDay 3: 13 May. Back in A.

9 Mar: I moved back. A went underground.
9 Apr: He moved into parents.
14 Apr: Me NC with WH.


Posts: 148 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: UK
devasted30
♀ Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 5:23 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And doing what is best for you is what you need to do. You go girl. Perhaps this was the first step in your getting your life back. The first step into getting YOU back.

Posts: 924 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
mrspap
♀ New Member
Member # 43056
Default  Posted: 5:39 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well done to you. Its amazing how good you feel when speak out.


Me 45
WH 44
D day 18.03.14
DS13 DS10

Posts: 10 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: England
Topic Posts: 7

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.