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Newest Member: Hurtlostempty (45065)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The light just went on
justjim
♂ Member
Member # 41150
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sitting here this morning reading some Facebook stuff when a friend posts a really positive message about what a great day it is, etc. He wrote "...and I don't want to know that you think the weather isn't perfect, or that you are miserably single, or that everything in your life isn't going your way...".

And I had a revelation.

I was already "miserably single" when I thought I was happily married.

It is time to celebrate no longer being chained to a lie.


Follow your BRAIN.
Your HEART is stupid as shit.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Oct 2013
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love this I had read once before D that it is better to be alone and lonely than to be married and lonely. I looked up and realized that he was no where to be found. He would come home very late at night and leave again very early in the morning. He was avoiding his family. I figured if I was going to do it all alone then I was going to do it all alone without the Spector of him to tiptoe around. I can't believe how happy I have become. My life isn't perfect but I am the only one in charge of changing it. So happy you are finding some happiness for you.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1761 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trust me on this one, I'm so much happier being by myself as opposed to being married to a lying Ho. My love life has not been on fire since my D. But life is not too bad and I'm confident things will get better in the dating department. Sometimes I think I'm being tested because I've never been without a SO since I was a teenager. And I'm going on a few years of no real relationship here. LOL !!!!!! I am thankful for casual entanglements though.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5675 | Registered: Nov 2007
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Justjim))))

love it!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4190 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Smashedat58
♀ Member
Member # 41705
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Justjim were we married to the same person?

Posts: 166 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Upstate New York
Smashedat58
♀ Member
Member # 41705
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by Smashedat58 at 7:35 PM, May 17th (Saturday)]


Posts: 166 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Upstate New York
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So very true.

When I was with him, I was truly miserable. There was no pleasing that man. I spent my life on eggshells.

Now, I have peace.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7697 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
traicionada
♀ Member
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank heavens for the A-ha! moments


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
courageous
♀ Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ain't that the truth! I was much more alone when I was married than I am now!



Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 651 | Registered: Jan 2012
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm alone now, and it feels no different.
He was physically there at the end of the day, AP was long distance. But he was so emotionally absent that sometimes I thought he wasn't in the house.
I had the same ah ha moment several months ago.
It's liberating.
There is still much to mourn, but I realize I am mourning how genuine I was and how completely indifferent he was to the treasure he threw away.
I've followed your story, I'm glad you are taking all these great steps forward.
Keep doing you and finding your happy!
You know the signs now, you've had plenty of time to reflect. One day, you are going to find a great lady who is as genuine as you. If you catch a few duds between now and then, you KNOW you will survive!
Wish there was an emoticon with being patted on the back.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2263 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Topic Posts: 10

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