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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Should I go?
Jesss
♀ Member
Member # 40333
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really don't even know how to act anymore.

So there is a parade and fair in town this weekend. It comes Every year on this May long weekend. Our family (me, WH, our four kids) go every year.
So my question is, WH is taking the kids to the parade tomorrow morning and then to the fair after. Should I go with them?
I don't want to pretend to be a happy family, and honestly I really don't feel like going. I could clean the house and get things done that I can't do when the kids are with me, which is 24/7 usually.
BUT, I don't want to regret not going, after the divorce is final, this weekend will be his weekend, he only gets long weekends off work. So maybe my last chance to take them. And maybe it'll be a chance for the WH to see what he's losing.
What should I do? What would you do?


BS: 31, WS: 35
4 kids between 2 and 7yrs old
DDAY 1: July 2013
DDAY 2: Sept 2013
DDAY 3: Oct 2013
DDAY 4: Feb 2014

Posts: 108 | Registered: Aug 2013
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No. It will be awkward and bad.

Go see a rate R movie. Or clean. Or sit at a coffee shop. Get a pedicure. Try on clothes at the mall <- My favorite. My kid never lets me try on clothes.

Do things you can only do kid-less. You will regret not doing that on Monday.

((hugs))


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 497 | Registered: Nov 2013
Jesss
♀ Member
Member # 40333
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks :) I totally agree with you, I will wish I chose alone time when the kids are driving me crazy again next week.

I just don't wanna look back next yr and wish I went with them...


BS: 31, WS: 35
4 kids between 2 and 7yrs old
DDAY 1: July 2013
DDAY 2: Sept 2013
DDAY 3: Oct 2013
DDAY 4: Feb 2014

Posts: 108 | Registered: Aug 2013
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are so many other traditions you will build with just you and your kids.

And next year, you may have them on the weekend of the fair and WH will be SOL.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 497 | Registered: Nov 2013
Jesss
♀ Member
Member # 40333
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

True... Thanks again


BS: 31, WS: 35
4 kids between 2 and 7yrs old
DDAY 1: July 2013
DDAY 2: Sept 2013
DDAY 3: Oct 2013
DDAY 4: Feb 2014

Posts: 108 | Registered: Aug 2013
hurtyetstrong
♀ Member
Member # 38372
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Totally agree with littlefoggy


Me: BW (30)
Him: WH (31)
2 DDs - 4yrs & 2yrs (as of Oct 2014)

multiple PAs

Filed for divorce May 16, 2014
1st court hearing October 23, 2014 (hopefully will be final!!!)


Posts: 156 | Registered: Feb 2013
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope. It will be awkward and unpleasant for everyone. Stay home and get your stuff done.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1861 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't want to pretend to be a happy family, and honestly I really don't feel like going.
Done. This pretty much says everything. No way in hell would I ever do this. Plus, I think it's confusing for the kids.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3410 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jesss - if you feel something, it's valid. It doesn't matter whether he or anyone else thinks it's reasonable. It's how you feel. If you don't want to go, don't go. You don't have to explain yourself to him. You just say "I'm not coming" to him. And you say "Have a lovely time with Daddy" to your children. If your children ask why you're not coming (you don't need to answer your WH) you could say "Well this is your special time with Daddy"


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - Susp EA 'The Baker'
COW - EA/PA 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
COW - Susp EA 'MiniMe'

Posts: 1057 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 9

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