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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: She spoke to you like that!
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A few months ago, I was out with a friend and her sister. I told them what I thought was a funny story from early in my marriage. In the story, I was painting 13's room (back when he was 3) and The Princess walked in. She looked at the section I had painted, and shouted, "What the fuck are you doing?"

Anyhow, I didn't get any further in my story because my friend's sister was enraged. "She talked to you like that!?"

I, of course, tried to minimize the sister's rage, telling her that it was okay because she always spoke to me like that. That didn't make her feel any better about it.

In a recent session with my shrink, I told him about this, and he asked me why it was okay for someone I loved to speak to me like that - and if I would be okay with someone speaking to one of my boys like that.

Oh yeah, that's part of that self esteem thing I'm working on. You know ... realizing that I'm not a piece of shit, and shouldn't be treated as such?

Leaving that harpy was the first step in a long journey. I'm slowly getting there.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2144 | Registered: Jan 2013
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 5:21 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Uh yeah, you deserve better than that. Don't let a stranger talk to you like that, let alone a 'loved one'.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1878 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It really gets you to thinking when we look back at the crap they did and said. I didn't even realize he was abusing me until someone on here said something. All those years of emotional abuse and didn't even realize it. Once you are away from someone for very long you start to see what normal is, all the crap they put you through and how bad they were mistreating you.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4792 | Registered: Feb 2008
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crazy what perspective some time and space will give you.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 497 | Registered: Nov 2013
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pass: U r right u don;t deserve to be talked to this way. I understand because I allowed WW to emotionally abuse me as well. It is amazing how low self-esteem haunts you. I get it. Here's praying for a better tomorrow.


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
Acer0112
♀ Member
Member # 43241
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I talked with SIL yesterday and she said something similar, that I will look back at this someday and realize I am so much better off and will find someone who will treat me like I deserve. I think she saw things as an outsider I never did.

Agree with others, we let them call us names, disrespect us, treat us without priority, because blinded by love. I took the bad and good, but didn't realize I was losing myself and confidence along the way.


D-Day 1/24/14
D-Day2 04/08/14, false R
17yrs married, 23yrs together
Two kids 13, 11
Divorced 10/2014

Posts: 201 | Registered: Apr 2014
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's for sure, y'all. Just like how I look back and see all the other times she probably cheated on me, I now look back and see all the times she treated me like shit. I had to be told many times on here that she had emotionally abused me before I would believe it.

As one of my buddies keeps telling me, she almost did me a favour by not trying hard enough to make it up to me after DDay. That's what opened my eyes and made me realize my situation was unbearable.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2144 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 7

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