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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 20
SWAT70
♂ Member
Member # 42915
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes it does violate PO. Wife is gonna have to make the complaint though. Which means she gets to read it. Joy to me. I'm gonna post it on Facebook and send it everyone in my contacts. I'm done playing with this fucker. He pissed me off for the last time.


Me BH-45. WW-39
DD-11 DS-6 DS-3
D day was Valentines day 2014. Talk about a trigger.


Posts: 333 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Down range
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She should read it - so she can see how pathetic he really is. We sent the main OM's BW a timeline with sufficient detail that he wouldn't be able to explain his way out of it to her personal e-mail. He found out and replied posing as the BW (used a fake Gmail account) that my wife needed to be tested for AIDS, because his wife had a bad transfusion during her cancer treatment. The true part was she was being treated for cancer during my wife's A with her H (how sad is that?) but she never had a bad transfusion. The BW saw that he sent that and quickly let us know that it was him. My wife did get to see what a real prize he was - a liar who cheated on his wife while she was being treated for breast cancer with multiple women.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3947 | Registered: Dec 2011
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^^ WTS


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony

2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 269 | Registered: Dec 2012
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry Swat. I wouldn't show it to her. She lives of the drama and being the middle of the drama all that does is give the junkie another hit when the only real way to kick an addiction to quit cold turkey.

She can still file complaint, but can't she take your word what was said in it ?

Just sayin'


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2554 | Registered: May 2010
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with n&d - the less contact she has with this the better.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7450 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Mercilesslynuked
♂ Member
Member # 42997
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow Swat, just wow. FTG. Jail for him!


Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.

D-day 1/6/2014-1/23/2014


Posts: 155 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Colorado
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agreed. If there was a way for your wife to take it as your word that he contacted (maybe just show her the email headers?) so complaint can go forward I'd do it.

BTW, my stbxmil called me the other day saying she wanted to go see Godzilla with me (I had the kids but I would have gone if I had been able to, we always got along). She mentioned she had enough on OM to send him back to jail and she was just waiting for an excuse to use it, she wouldn't elaborate on specifics. I'm just glad I'm nowhere near that drama.

My anniversary is in 6 days. Crap.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 740 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SWAT

So POSER wants to die? I'm cool with that. Sounds like he's a bug in search of a windshield, and likely enough to find one before too long.

My WW picked one of those "winners" too. A seriously committed serial adulterer, he admitted on his deathbed that he had nailed an average of one new woman a month for almost three decades. While he was married, and so were most of his AP's, including my WW.

He didn't particularly like married women, he was just lazy and in a hurry, and they were easier. It's a sad truth the BMenz have learned,

The easiest women in the world to fuck are married.

Check the parsing of this statement carefully. I'm not saying married women are easy, I'm saying easy women are often married. Especially if you're married too. Single women are mostly going to be wise to your shit.

Back to our sick POSER, do the math, and even allowing for a fair amount of boastful exaggeration, that's a frightening number. He admitted to being named in dozens of D's and a few suspected OC's. In biblical terms, EVIL.

But, he got caught by the windshield on the Karma Bus, and is getting run over in slow motion by a nasty, painful, and incurable form of cancer.

I'm cool with that.

Stay strong brother, YOU are better than all the shit that's swirling around you.

And on the email, I'd tell your WW about it and have her file a complaint, but I wouldn't read it to her, or let her read it. It's a test. Does she want you back enough to trust you on this?

[This message edited by MoreWould at 5:57 PM, May 19th (Monday)]


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 357 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Meh, ambivalent about letting her *see* the E-mail. Does it really matter? The content indicated that she had shut POSER out. The content also indicates how bughouse nuts POSER really is and the danger she has introduced into the family life. Shit, he tore up the yard with his vehicle and was beating on the doors and he apologizes with *sorry babe*? Yep, that's a winner. Also, due the pending prosecution, she'll probably see it anyway.

Hey SWAT, are you pursuing civil charges for the damage to the yard?


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2844 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
SWAT70
♂ Member
Member # 42915
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So guys. It's been and eventful day. WW did file a report and is pressing charges. I was glad to see she took some intitiative. Went out and hit the weights like I was twenty five again. I'm gonna be sore tommorrow.

I think OM is bat shit crazy. Don't know when or how it happened and I honestly don't give a shit. I sent the wife and kids to the in laws. She tried to apologize and tried to comfort me but I had to cut her off. I have heard way to many I'm sorry's. They don't have much meaning for me right now.

I'm going out tonight. Wings and beer with some of the guys from work. Some of the couples from DC will be there. I've lined up my designated driver and right or wrong I'm getting shit faced. I've earned a good drunk if you ask me. I'm in pain already so what's a hangover.


Me BH-45. WW-39
DD-11 DS-6 DS-3
D day was Valentines day 2014. Talk about a trigger.


Posts: 333 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Down range
SWAT70
♂ Member
Member # 42915
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

5454
No chance I'm hell I want to see that man especially in a court room. My lawn can be fixed I want nothing to do with POS. I'm so angry right now if I saw him there could be some serious issues. I would like to not have to think about this for a while. Wishful thinking I know but a guys gotta have some dreams.


Me BH-45. WW-39
DD-11 DS-6 DS-3
D day was Valentines day 2014. Talk about a trigger.


Posts: 333 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Down range
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wishful thinking I know but a guys gotta have some dreams.

Lol, enjoy the night. Just be aware that a shit ton of emotions could be released. I know you're with people who do know, just warn them ahead. (I did, it actually was a release. Went stone sober for a year after that though)


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2844 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

so what's a hangover

No clue. Never had one (true story) . JJ can vouch.

Swat - get your drunk on. Self care matters. I think I've done that a time or two. Haven't regretted it yet. Nor do I expect to.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3947 | Registered: Dec 2011
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*Vouches*
Though I may not be a "reliable witness" as those things go...I'm sure there's understand. Tred's my sideshield, so yeah, I'm his. *Vouches*

Drink the dregs of your anger swatman, taste it all.
Swallow the bug and shit it out, piss it all out, vomit it if you have to, I say, in the end - indifference is your destination. Indifference will be your destination when you're sober, it's the point on the map for you. Even though the path is twisted with all this, as vacation destinations go, there's none better. This bug doesn't deserve one more second's occupation in your lower colon or rectum. PUSH!

william - hope you're ok man- don't be skating all around lookin at all those eye talian ladies!


Posts: 6591 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
william
Member
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i go with my wife and daughter.

ive been 4 times now for a total of about 12 hours. the first few times i was a mess, could only concentrate on what i was doing and trying not to fall over the whole time. i had to react to everything as it came with little ability to look anywhere. now im getting to the point that i can see problems coming and manuever around them ... somewhat. on sunday i actually managed to pull off 4 out of 6 jumps.

its very, very relaxing going around and around and around. theres an old guy (a university physics professor now retired) who brings some great music there on a self charging stereo system hes built on his own. listen to light music and skate. go around a bit, come over to my daughter, chat to her as we go around, she zooms off, then talk to my wife a few times around, and then go around a few times on my own.

there is a married guy there that is cheating on his wife with one of the "regulars", its obvious how they interact. i see it as i go around and i dont like it. hes got kids too. his wife comes sometimes and has no clue.

my wife and i are working on her timeline together every other night. there are over SIXTY people on it that she behaved inappropriately in one way or another (everything from opening a window into our marriage, telling them what an a-hole i am, flirting with them ... all the way up to the 12 or so she was sexting, the 2 ONS guys, and the LTA guy ... and which of her friends knew what and when did they know it and how did they enable the affair). we are working chronological and doing it every other night for 2-4 hours a session. its got to all come out, its too much to come out in one go, its too intense to do it every night, but having it come out this way means that its like a slow trickle of diarehia into my mouth every other night each night we do it ... it gets worse and worse because her behavior during this two year period just kept getting worse and worse. we are a few days out from covering ONS 1 guy, perhaps a week after that we hit ONS 2 guy, and maybe 2 weeks after that we hit LTA guy (who i still know practically nothing about - other than reading my wifes emails to herself about him which almost destroyed me - her talking about how she woke up in bed next to me and saw it was me and realized it was the wrong guy in her bed, how she loved him, how she wished she had never met me or had our daughter ... all sorts of cheerful sh1t indeed).

i ran out of sleeping pills 2 nights ago. i discovered that i STILL cant sleep without them. me ... the guy who has always been able to roll over and get to sleep ... even the worst of it during the Corps never made me miss a heartbeats sleep. yet now ... i cant sleep without a freaking pill. it makes me very resentful and angry that i "need" them. im one of those people who never even took aspirin or pain killers or anything. yet i find that today im going to the dr to get another prescription. im also going to ask him for a mild anti anxiety or anti depressant too. it makes me very resentful and angry that i "need" them.

i didnt do anything that i should feel stressed out or anxiety or depressed about. i dont see why its fair that i should have to take stuff.


me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys


Posts: 544 | Registered: Jan 2014
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SWAT Today.

Coconut water, then some normal water with Advil and some light cardio will get you back to normal : ) BTDT.

ETA : Tred, no hangover ? Really ? What your secret ?

[This message edited by numb&dumb at 10:12 AM, May 20th (Tuesday)]


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2554 | Registered: May 2010
LAFA
♂ Member
Member # 31868
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey SWAT! I know you're still going through the middle of the shit, but there you are in JFO, giving help and support to another. Good on ya man! I commend you.


When you put someone on a pedestal, they quickly learn two things. The view is mighty good from up there, and it is a fine vantage from which to kick.

Posts: 183 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Hawaii
Forged1
♂ Member
Member # 43418
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think OM is bat shit crazy.

I think you're right. I also think his craziness and all the crap flowing from same is something that needs to be dealt with before decisions are taken about R or D or anything else

In other news, I moved over the weekend. This is the first place I've ever lived without STBXW since moving to the US almost six years ago. It feels very, very strange. Not necessarily bad, but very strange.

It's got a nice porch, though.


Me: BH - 30s
Her: WW - 30s

Married - 2008
PA with boss for at least 5 months in 2013, possibly longer.
DDay - Feb 2014
Separated, heading to D
==================================
At this stage, I'm pretty much bulletproof.


Posts: 271 | Registered: May 2014 | From: USA
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tred, no hangover ? Really ? What your secret ?

Don't sober up . To be honest, not really sure. I just don't get them. I'd probably drink less if there were actual consequences like hangovers


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3947 | Registered: Dec 2011
Schadenfreude
♂ Member
Member # 43075
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If affairs had no consequences, this site wouldn't exist. But if you could discover the secret of drinking without hangovers, and bottle it, you'd be a rich man. Ever thought of donating your body to,science so that this great medical discovery could be shared worldwide? People everywhere would be drinking to your memory!

[This message edited by Schadenfreude at 11:37 AM, May 20th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 892 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
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