Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: SoGutted (44679)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 20
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey I wasn't ignoring SWAT, I just go through stretches where I'm off the grid for awhile.

SWAT, the POSOM in your case is a male AP version of a "bunny boiler." That must add an extra layer of misery to what's already a terrible situation. Sorry you are going through this bro. Only suggestion is to press forward with the legal process and help him along his path of self-destruction.

OM is an shit stain, fucktard of a co@$ sucker.

I admire your restraint. But words really don't adequately describe someone that selfish and depraved. Sounds like he's actually getting off on your distress. There's a special place in hell for people like this. Strength...


Me (BS)-45, WW-42
PMs with men only, please
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1355 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
No12turn2
♂ Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just got my first "I know we are divorced, but..." request. Is there no shame in these women at all? She called me at 11:00pm (knowing I'm at work by 7:00 am) and asked me for the admin password for the family computer she took.

ME: Seriously??? You need to set up your new internet service at 11 pm?

xWW: Well my data is almost over the limit on my phone and I need to set up my wifi.

ME: I'm not giving you my password, I still use it for multiple accounts.

xWW: Well can you come over and change it?

ME: Maybe....TOMORROW at a decent hour, if at all. Why is this so important at 11pm?

xWW: I wanted to facetime my mom.

ME: Just call her like normal people do. BTW, probably not a good idea to call her at 11pm either.


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 525 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SWAT, the POSOM in your case is a male AP version of a "bunny boiler." That must add an extra layer of misery to what's already a terrible situation.

Amen, this guy lacks any rational thought. Makes you wonder how he was able to work his job with such poor decision making skills.

No turn,
Selfish much! I would sit back laugh and relax. See wanted out, she can figure her own life challenges now. I wouldn't enable her requests. But it would be cool to see how she remedies the situation.


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1888 | Registered: Nov 2010
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe....TOMORROW at a decent hour, if at all.
I hope you have a severely packed schedule tomorrow and every other day you might have gone over to change the password. I personally would have laughed followed by asking her how exactly this was my problem and hung up the phone. But I have been known to be an asshole at times.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
D hopefully official any day now, off to check the mail again.

Posts: 1893 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
HeartFullOfHoles
♂ Member
Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This may hit too close to home, but my first reaction is at that time of day she has plans to facetime someone other than her mom.


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 133 | Registered: Mar 2014
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No12turn2- You could change the password to, "cheatingexwife-fi," Too passive aggressive ?

Swat- he isn't worth the mental energy it takes to hate him. Living life like that . . .well, there won't be anyone to mourn his passing when that day comes. It will be like he never existed at all.

I have no memory of my "best" golf games. It is the way nature intended. Kind of like hormones that make women forget the pain of childbirth, but with fancier containers.

LHAP? good to hear man. Having her realize it on her own is encouraging, yes ? Guys day sounds awesome.


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2554 | Registered: May 2010
Schadenfreude
♂ Member
Member # 43075
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe Mom is three time zones to the west?

Tell her there are computer specialists who for a fee will be happy to solve her computer problem. You're not sure you can do it, right?

If you start being her handyman, you'll have a full time, guaranteed job, but one that pays zilch. Read up on "beta orbiters" on Google links and pay attention to how women love to have them available for jobs such as this.

BTW, change your passwords before she gets into the system.


Posts: 892 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LHAP, awesome that she realized this on her own. You're not going to have them around much longer. Enjoy them. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

No1, How many other passwords would you have to change just to give her that one? N/C bro. Are you sure she wasn't using the acronym? MOM? 11pm?

N & D, that truly is as it should be!

Ok, there are some beautiful courses out there that were/are meant to be enjoyed. I just have an issue *seeing* out of the tree's! Which then leads to just *seeing* in general, which leads to...

Ooooh look........

or, *Here, hold my beer!*

[This message edited by 5454real at 3:38 PM, June 12th (Thursday)]


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2702 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well crap. WW's on the boat and texts me they're about to leave port. Tells me she loves me and "No worries. I promise." Too late. I'm already starting to get paranoid. I've been fine, and rather enjoying the last two days I guess because it wasn't party time on the ship yet. Now it is and in spite of her reassurances, I'm getting a little freaked out. Of course there's still the healing boil and yeast infection that puts her out of commission. Nevertheless.... I think I just need to go home and have a couple of beers and not worry about it.


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony


Posts: 257 | Registered: Dec 2012
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SWAT - Good to hear from you. Thank you for checking in. That OM sounds like a real piece of work. Or piece of something...

No1 - That is messed up. She called you, why can't she just call her frickin' mom? Sounds like a bullshit story to me, or she was just trying guilt/hoover you back into coming to her beck and call. Good for you for putting your foot down.

WTH - That sucks, man. I can see how you would feel nervous as soon as the ship launched. Hope everything turns out okay. Sending strength, peace, and beer.


Posts: 6678 | Registered: Dec 2010
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

deleted - could be interpreted as soliciting for business....

[This message edited by sisoon at 7:21 PM, June 12th (Thursday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9979 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Getting the weekend started early, off work until Thursday.
Happy pre-kend all!


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2405 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is a mighty fine brew choice, SLHer. Much respect.

Cheers!!


Posts: 6678 | Registered: Dec 2010
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It came highly recommended. It's REALLY good, however, I liked their "prior 8" better. Took SLHim to "the yardhouse" for her birthday and I ordered a second glass of "prior 8" before I even finished the first!
I've got a "tripel" chillin in the fridge for tomorrow night.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2405 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree that the Prior 8 is fantastic. I love Belgian ales, particularly the Trappist ones. At one point I thought about making it a career choice if my marriage didn't work out. I already kinda have the hairdo!

Glad you and SLHim had a good time on her b-day.


Posts: 6678 | Registered: Dec 2010
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 5:51 AM, June 13th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Compensation items.
Beta-orbiters.
Pre-kends.

See, that's why I hang here.
To learn new words!
And for the beer...

In ancient times,
when men waved sticks at the sky,
and shouted many names of God,
it was called "religion".
Today,
it's called "golf"...

I figure marriage is like a deck of cards.
Starts out with two hearts and a diamond,
ends up,
well...
I just want a fucking club and a spade...

There ya go.
Happy Friday boys!


Posts: 6519 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, June 13th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@jj - I'love learning new words here too! Words of all kinds.

@WTH - I feel for ya buddy. I'll be thinking about you this week. Hopefully you can pull through without your nerves being totally shot. I've been mostly keeping quite on the cruise sitch but I have been following. I'm kinda disappointed in your WW. I'll be having a bourbon for you tonight...maybe a Manhattan.

@Losfer - Thoughts will definitely be with you this weekend too.

@No1 - Really messed up dude. She's toying with you. F her.

@SWAT - is your safety on? Have a great weekend with your kids. Enjoy them.

For everyone...still early on a Fri. Anyone up for some breakfast?

yop


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 1933 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, June 13th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

About 4.5 years post dday. Our relationship has struggled recently (no sex for 3 months, distancing) which I attributed to stress of an upcoming wedding of FWW's DD, but after the wedding some of her behavior was reminiscent of her behaviors before dday. I looked through her phone the other night and found comments from FWW to family and friends about me behaving as an ass at the wedding, being a cheapskate, and how FWW wishes she could buy a house that is for sale because she has enjoyed the recent time with my being away on work travel.

When I asked FWW about what I found on her phone she was not apologetic. When I asked her why she felt I had been an ass at the wedding she said because I was not there and did not make her feel happy. I pointed out I was there, and she said I did not talk to people. I asked why she did not talk with me if she thought I was being an ass, and she then went to the “it always all about Atsenaotie” defense, that I claim to never do anything wrong.

When I asked about the cheapskate comment she said that I always told her there was no money for a new car, it was my fault. I asked her where she thought the money was with her unemployed much of the time and a child in school and she admitted that we have been tight on money the last few years.

She asked why I looked at her phone when I did, and I told her about the recent behaviors that caused me to feel unsafe in the M, behaviors that were very similar to behaviors before dday. She acknowledged that she thought some of her recent behaviors might trigger me, and then went on to say that she knew I would never be over what she did in her As.

She believes that my expectation that she not complain about me and the marriage to people outsider the M and people who are not friends of the M is unrealistic, that it is a Pollyannaish view. She believes that my expectation that we support and be open and honest with each other is unrealistic. She thought that after nearly 5 years things would be better, but that they are not, she belives that I will never forget or forgive her for what she did in the As.

I think that I am finally done. Financially this will be painful, and it is D or nothing as there is no legal separation here in Fl. I am really disappointed. I really wanted this to work, but needed FWW to do her part.

[This message edited by atsenaotie at 8:32 AM, June 13th (Friday)]


LTA BS 53
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Separated and Divorcing

Posts: 4113 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, June 13th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry about that Atse-

It's got to be a shitty moment when you realize that that your WW has really just been paying lip service to remorseful, healthy behaviors in order to patronize you for all these years. Strength, my friend.


"The thing that always seems to be shocking to wayward wives is the simple fact that the man you choose to reconcile with is not the same man you cheated on." - a friend.

Posts: 2023 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, June 13th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ats, Crap, crap, crap. I'm sorry for you. I remember your struggles. I have recommended your old tag line as a course of action more than a few times.

Just wondering, based on her recent comments, do you really believe that she ever really *got it* or was she able to *mask* herself? Here's the one I'm almost scared to ask. Were you projecting actions/behaviors onto her that just weren't there because you wanted R so badly? I'm asking because I could easily see myself doing that.

I hope her head snaps out of her ass for you.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2702 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.