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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 20
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:44 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys! My birthday and D-Day coinciding kind of made me somewhat of a history buff as to the significance of the day. How different our world could have been. The strength those Men showed on that day.....just wow. Omaha beach, the bravery in the face of such odds humbles me.

Sisoon, DGD was just scheduled for delivery on the 28th. I wish I could be there with y'all, but my first grand-daughter needs to take precedence. I'll post pics and expect the same in return. Next year buddy.

Thanks again guys.

ETA, whoops, the 27th.

[This message edited by 5454real at 1:22 AM, June 7th (Saturday)]


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2827 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
mike7
♂ Member
Member # 38603
Default  Posted: 12:27 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

happy birthday 5454!! And congrats on the new DGD! very happy for you. I hope I get one of those some day.

[This message edited by mike7 at 12:27 AM, June 7th (Saturday)]


BH 53
WW 52
Two kids 21, 18

DDay 1/15/2013


Posts: 542 | Registered: Mar 2013
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 6:49 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy belated birthday 545!

Welcome TTS!

Have more I want to cover but no time right now. Getting ready to go to niece's graduation. Have a great day gents!


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony
2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 265 | Registered: Dec 2012
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so happy for you 54!
I gots me 3 of 'em!
They are pure pure joy!

Whenever I get a chance to stop by a yard sale, I pick out the old history and literature books - the ones from schools, the thick ones. I look for old football history books too. Coaching, styles of coaching etc. is another hobby of mine.
There's a HS nearby that runs a throwback offense (from the 30's!) that I love to watch in the fall.

Those old guys that came back from winning the war - many of them became coaches, and shaped the lives of generations. I'm kind of a hoarder, of wisdom and experience. I feel it's a tragedy when it's lost. The skills contained in old healers' hands, like Bonesetter Reese - where did it go?
Louie Zamperini, Bud Day...those were men. I don't feel fit to shine their shoes.


Posts: 6581 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 7:45 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy belated birthday 545!!

Morning gentlemen.

Thoughts are with brother saveus this morning since his sitch blew up last night in JFO.

Was thinking about my grandfather in law yesterday. He survived the sixth wave on D Day and suffered through severe PTSD for his entire life.

@TTS - yeah, that anger can be a bitch to deal with sometimes. If you have to, it's almost best to remove yourself from the situation if you can...more so when things get really heard. During those moments absolutely nothing can be constructive.

[This message edited by yearsofpain25 at 7:45 AM, June 7th (Saturday)]


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2078 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm worried about saveus as well. I'm scared for his kids, honestly.


I refuse to let a wound ruin me.
**Guts over fear.**

Posts: 2075 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm worried about saveus as well. I'm scared for his kids, honestly.

I've been thinking about him all morning. Followed his story from day 1. Really really sucks for his son. I hope he listens and gets the help that he needs.


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2078 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I worry also. Haven't posted much to his thread because in all honesty, there was no way he wanted to *hear* what we were saying. All the classical signs of an abuse victim. Fortunately, I was awake when his post came through. See how the advice, shouted, at that, was blithely ignored and then tried to make light of it? He needs help. Right now, we can't give it. An abuse victim has to hit *that* point themselves. Rarely will words change their mind.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2827 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Totally agree with you 545. 2 reasons I usually stop giving advice in a thread. 1. They go on forever refusing to listen or 2. So many people are posting there is nothing else I can add. Doesn't mean I don't stop following or rooting for them.

Still worried about saveus since no updates. Not like him to go that long.


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2078 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

54, I'm a big fan of g2gs, but they're nothing compared to a grandchild. We'll miss you, but rest assured, you're making the right choice.

Ascendant, I just don't get the diet soda with alcohol....

[This message edited by sisoon at 6:25 PM, June 7th (Saturday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10075 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A grandbaby? Good excuse to bust out the cigars! Seriously, that is way cool, 54. Congratulations in advance.

Posts: 7064 | Registered: Dec 2010
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This:
I worry also. Haven't posted much to his thread because in all honesty, there was no way he wanted to *hear* what we were saying. All the classical signs of an abuse victim. Fortunately, I was awake when his post came through. See how the advice, shouted, at that, was blithely ignored and then tried to make light of it? He needs help. Right now, we can't give it. An abuse victim has to hit *that* point themselves. Rarely will words change their mind.
And this:
2 reasons I usually stop giving advice in a thread. 1. They go on forever refusing to listen or 2. So many people are posting there is nothing else I can add. Doesn't mean I don't stop following or rooting for them.
I'm rooting for him to snap out of it, but there's nothing we can do for him with the amount of advice he's already been given, and it's driving me nuts to just hear him pining away...not in anger at him, but because I remember that feeling so vividly and how much it ended up hurting me in the long run.


I refuse to let a wound ruin me.
**Guts over fear.**

Posts: 2075 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes I can't find sleep
pressed in between the crystal sheets
of thoughts and dreams that NO ONE keeps
cept me.

Locked within the fire's glow
the secrets of ancients burn
storytell low.

In night burning billions of blisters of light
whispers the wind
she says go.

Something's breaking, something's coalescing within me...

If my mind could take pictures,
to give to all I know
I'd print the early morningsongs
of new day dawning's show.

Before a bird's eye opens
before their song is heard
a magical silence is singing outside
for that
I can't find a word, but

a black and white for tentacles
clutching icily to the trees, or
a color print,
for the brilliant sunrise
which exists I'm sure
only to please.

I'll probably go to a nuthouse
for ranting and raving fore dawn
or
keep clicking along
singing my song
laughing wildly on somebody's lawn.

The poetry of a man divided against himself
does not have the power
of the simplest tribal song.
I heard this said.

All this is coming out because my estranged brother recently contacted me out of the blue...

[This message edited by jjct at 4:55 AM, June 8th (Sunday)]


Posts: 6581 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
foundoutlater
♂ Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, June 8th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jjct that was damn good! You have a gift or two my friend. I hope the reconnection proves to be a positive thing.

Happy very belated bday 5545 and congrats grandpa to be

Hope everyone finds some good for themselves today. Got to refuel for the week ahead. Happy Sunday.


Your beliefs dont make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1131 | Registered: Jul 2011
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, June 8th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't spoken to you for weeks JJ...what you talkin bout? That sounds great. Hope you two reconnect.

I need to fuel up for a golf tourney today. Annual husband/wife championship at the club - Sand and I are the reigning champs (net 57 last year). It's great to be able to use her tee shot!


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3929 | Registered: Dec 2011
william
Member
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 3:48 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i totally agree about saveus. i worry about him but also see that he is not prepared to actually "do" anything. hes paralyzed with fear and until hes prepared to actually go one way or another then hes basically stuck where he is and it will just continue to get worse until he finally decides that enough is enough.


me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys


Posts: 543 | Registered: Jan 2014
Hurthalo
♂ Member
Member # 41782
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To be fair, Saveus' WW did smash his iPhone and take to his computer with a weapon after he wouldn't give her her phone back....so he might be off comms for that reason.

I hope him and his son are ok.


Forgive the unforgivable, or bear the unbearable.

Me BS (34) WW (29)
Married 2 years
2y old Daughter
D-Day 05 Nov 13


Posts: 138 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Australia
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Looks like I missed a lot. I need to start posting more in this Thread. I hope everything is ok for Saveus.

Congrats on Baby and Bday!


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to quit taking weekends off. . . .

Happy Bday 5454 ! Congrats on the Grand baby too.

Losfer- Doing well. All around. I kept steady on only focusing on my issues and what I can control. Only way to win the "game" is to not play

Ditto on saveus. Like many others all we can do is to try and show he is supported here. It is easy to give advice with our collective wisdom here, but how many of us had to learn things the hard way ? His seems like is slowly getting to a point of filing. The abuse. Having the FOOs I do . . .well it hurts too much to think about . . . I know I am safe and my kids won't witness or experience anything like that. That is all I can do.


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2554 | Registered: May 2010
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well that was an interesting weekend. The other day WW brought up her cruise so I took the opportunity to let her know why I have such a problem with it, and with the last one she took. She seemed taken aback that I don't trust her, but did finally admit she understood why. She gave me all kinds of "nothing will happen" promises and reassurances that I had nothing to worry about. She also said she wasn't the same person that she was then, what she did to me she also did to God, etc. What I couldn't help but notice wasn't there was another apology for doing it. Not that I want one every day, but anytime her A's are talked about it'd be nice to get one. I also told her I wasn't at all happy about the way she let me know about the cruise. She still thinks telling me that her friend had asked her, "Will he D you for taking a cruise?", and my saying "No, I won't D you for taking a cruise" was the equivalent of me saying, "Yes, I'm fine with you taking a cruise." She claimed that after I said I wouldn't D her, that she said, "Then we're going to book it." I don't remember that being said, but my memory isn't the greatest so she may have. Or, I may have been so pissed that this scrapbooking trip was suddenly going to be a cruise, that I just didn't hear her say it. However, a few days later she brings me a Home Depot gift card and says, "I brought you a prize. Can I go on a cruise?" Why would she do that if she already assumed I'd said yes, and had told me they were going to book it? I wasn't in a mood to get in a pissing match so I dropped that. The rest of the day, and evening she was obviously in a mood, I'm sure because she found out she still wasn't trusted, but I guess by the next day she was over that. They leave Wed. to head to the port city, so I'm very interested to see if I get anymore promises and reassurances, or it I don't get much more than an "I love you. I'll be back in a week."

So, the graduation on Saturday was a graduation. However, the valedictorian's speech really stood out to me. He was funny, self-deprecating, but when he really got into the meat of his speech I was pretty impressed. Basically he said he wasn't going to feed them the usual "Reach for the stars" cliches. What he did tell them in the course of his speech was, you're going to fail at some point in your life. Probably more than once. Don't let those failures define you. Learn from them and use them. I thought it was a pretty damn good message coming from an 18 y.o.

After the graduation we went to the graduation party. I didn't know most of the people there, but since it was WW's SIL's family that's no surprise. There was one particular woman there that I kept getting a "disturbance in the force" type feeling from. WW told me she was her SIL's step-sister, half-sister, she wasn't really sure exactly what the relationship was. When we were introduced she told me she'd heard about me from SIL. I figured that was no big deal, SIL and I hit it off well from when we met, and she had told WW when we were dating she needed to make sure to not let me get away. So through the day this woman and I would cross paths and have some brief idle chat for a moment. Then later in the day, I had refilled my drink and she was talking to someone and had a fly swatter that looked like a big hand she was playing around with. When I was walking by she said something and brandished the fly swatter. I kind of blew it off. I don't remember what she said next, but it was obviously "I'm going to spank you" type flirting. Her H was a few feet away, and when she said that I simply walked away and avoided her the rest of the day. It really pissed me off. To be honest, she's good looking so part of my ego was wanting to play along, but there was no way I was going to get sucked into that, regardless of how innocent it might've been intended to be. I know it wasn't like she came on to me like a drunk prom date, but even that little bit was more than I could stand. I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her H also. I just pray that anything she does like that's just innocent flirting and that he doesn't one day find himself here.


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony
2 Cor 12:9-10


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