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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: A song for those who are D.O.N.E. with the blameshifting
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

About a month after FTFred and I separated, I went on a YouTube binge, trying to find songs to express how I feel. (I hadn't found SI yet, but thank you to everyone who posts songs to help other people).

I love Daughtry, and I SOOO wanted my ex to feel those songs for me. Most of them are about how sorry he is and wants his woman back. But I had no faith my ex would ever feel those things for me anymore. He even refused listening to any of them..

Then all of the sudden while on my music binge, FTFred started texting me, blameshifting the hell out of me, telling me I'm crazy and it's all my fault for not being enough for him and that I should feel sorry for what *I* did to *him* and that now I deserve the way he is treating me. I had apologized for some things that happened before we separated, but I was done doing that.

So I found this song, and I sent it to him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NzqgRoRJWw

The woman on the screen is me, walking away from him and all the darkness he brought my life.

What I Meant To Say

I woke up today sinkin' like the stones that you have thrown
Wounded by the same ole shots you take
It's easier to kick me when I'm low

And I just thought that you should know
I've been holding on while you've been letting go
Well, it's not too late to say it right this time
'Cause I know I said I'm sorry but that's not what I meant to say

I'm strong enough to say
That I don't wanna take the high road now
So typical of you to walk away
When your perfect little world is burning down

And I just thought that you should know
I've been holding on while you've been letting go, can I be so bold?
'Cause all this sucking up to you is just getting old
Well, it's not too late to say it right this time
'Cause I know I said I'm sorry, but that's not what I meant to say

What I really meant to say with every little breath I take
I'm not the only one who makes mistakes
Just think of all the ones you've made

And I just thought that you should know
I've been holding on while you've been letting go, can I be so bold?
'Cause all this sucking up to you is just getting old
Well, it's not too late to say it right this time
'Cause I know I said I'm sorry, but that's not what I meant to say

This is a song for when you're done. It was a huge turning point for me. I WAS holding onto him before D-Day. I was trying counseling, talking, anything to figure out what the hell was wrong with us.

But starting that day, I wasn't going to take his shit anymore. Not one insult he could throw at me was an excuse for him having affairs. He could have LEFT ME or TALKED TO ME ABOUT IT or ANYTHING ELSE. Him and his fucking ego thought he deserved an awesome wife and a couple holes on the side?? Fucking asshole.

Maybe I'm not the perfect wife/cook/cleaner/laundry person/supermodel, but I was a good damn wife. Am I sorry for not being perfect? NO.

What I meant to say was, I'M SORRY I STAYED MARRIED TO YOUR ASS FOR SO LONG.

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 11:42 AM, May 16th (Friday)]


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2336 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Daughtry is awesome.....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8089 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel the same as you!

Fucking assholes is right. I mean what I allowed to take from him is .... fuck I don't even know.

He took all that I was and I allowed it because I wanted to fix us. Well babe, you cant fix shit with a 3rd party still there and you can't fix shit when they feel entitled.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"


Posts: 2791 | Registered: Aug 2011
LeftOutintheCold
♀ Member
Member # 42856
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love Daughtry but hadn't come across this one. Thanks for sharing!! I've also been turning to music to help me express myself and this one is awesome!


Me - 42
WH - 40
Dday - 3/6/14
Married 5yrs, together 11yrs
Status - Headed towards Divorce

Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2014
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hadn't heard that Daughtry song either until my YouTube binge. Luuuuuuve it. It was like a sign from the Heavens telling me to stop listening to all the sad songs and try on my first ever bitch boots.

But I remember doing that in high school, looking for older music by artists I like and buying the CDs.. But now YouTube is way cheaper. Yay technology!!

And since we are on the subject, the only other Daughtry song I know of like this? "Over You."

My favorite lyrics from it:

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.

What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.

And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you!

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me
!!


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2336 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Topic Posts: 5

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