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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: ugh--super sad
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, May 15th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fuck me. I am feeling so pathetic today. I have a dr appt in a couple of weeks and I'm filling out the forms and come to the emergency contact. I've got nobody. My buddy moved last week to join her husband in Hawaii (I'm staying at their farmhouse ans that's awesome) and my mom is in shape physically (or emotionally for that matter) to deal with anything. I feel like the world's biggest loser.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, May 15th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've FB messaged a couple of friends from BITD who still live here but THAT just cemented my loserdom.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, May 15th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HUGS)))

I had this same dilemma post-separation. I knew NO ONE in the area. No friends, no family. I only knew a few people at church on a surface level, and that was only because I finally had a breakdown & told them what was happening in my marriage.

I had to screw up my courage & ask them to please be my emergency contact people. Every single one of them said yes. They understood my situation and never hesitated.

I urge you to push yourself to a new comfort level and reach out. People will probably surprise you in a good way.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9509 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, May 15th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My friend from BITD who I have seen once in the past 20 years said "of course, don't be stupid" so I'm covered now but sheesh, it really threw me. It's good to be back in my hometown but it's been harder than I'd hoped to leave my friends. It's good to be far from the LCB but I miss my 'hood.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
myowndystopia
♀ Member
Member # 41340
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, May 15th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm thankful that I have adult children and the fact that we've lived here for a long time helps. Had my first solo emergency since I filed and drove myself to ER, waited hours before contacting kids to tell them I was in hospital waiting surgery. But they came through and DD25 was there waiting for surgeon once surgery was done. DD25 grew up a lot that week. But.......now that I have the experience behind me, it has forced me to have those conversations with kids and friends and come up with a plan- who do I call in middle of night? Who do I put on all those forms? So.... It's good to think those things ahead of time.

You're not a loser. You are Just facing the realities of some of the changes we have to go through.


Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele


Posts: 408 | Registered: Nov 2013
DepressedDaddy
♂ Member
Member # 41521
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, May 15th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are not a loser just because you feel lost right now. I feel that we have to lose ourselves to truly find ourselves. If you think about it that way, you are on the cusp of finding the new you. The new and improved you that doesn't need the POS. You are strong and we are here for you.


Since divorce I have become DepressedDaddy 2.0 - or better known as DevotedDaddy

“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for


Posts: 706 | Registered: Dec 2013
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You guys are great. I've moved out of loserville and feeling grateful for the friends I've found again. It was probably unrealistic to think I would have found or re-established a relationship in two months that was so close that being my emergency contact wasn't something I would feel weird about asking. I have so many really good things in my life that I have forgotten how to cope with bumps in the road!


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your emergency contact does not have to be someone who lives nearby. It's whom you want contacted in the event something happens to you.

I use my DS; he lives 2000 miles away.

I had an employee recently who said she had no one to put down as an emergency contact, even though I explained it the same way to her. I suggested she use her landlady . To be honest, she was a wacko and is no longer employed by us.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20018 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had the exact same thing happen shortly after I left The Princess. I had a seizure while walking downtown, and woke up in the back of an ambulance. The paramedics were filling in the forms and asked for my emergency contact, and I started sobbing right there. And it sucked.

I'm pretty sure you didn't mean that that makes you the world's biggest loser, because if it does, that also makes me a tie for the world's biggest loser.

And you don't seem like someone who would say nasty shit about me.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1828 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess when I think of emergency contact, it's who to call come pick me up from the hospital, not sign for my body at the morgue. While one of my besties 300 miles away would DO it, I'd like someone local.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pass, when I first separated from the LCB, I asked one of my friends if he would be my emergency contact. When another friend saw his name rather than hers on my phone (I put Emergency Contact Bob Smith as the name) she was a little peeved! Why him? Why not me? I'm your best friend, right?!?! It was actually very sweet of her, in her neurotic way.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:06 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, hon. Your emergency contact is NOT someone who can pick you up at the hospital. If you need to be picked up, it's assumed that you're conscious and can make that call yourself. In this case, unfortunately, it's for a worst-case scenario. At work, it's for when you don't show up for work for three days...


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20018 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Topic Posts: 12

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