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User Topic: Long Term Affairs - Part 34
SI Staff
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Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

New thread

Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi to all the newbies! I haven't read all your "stories" yet but I will be.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9404 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
TheBestMe
♀ Member
Member # 39476
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all...

Over the past few days I have been feeling sad. I suppose my emotions are another stage of the grieving process. I don't have romantic love for my H. That fantasy ended years ago. What I have for him is a desire to care for and about him. But, when my H enters a room, my heart does not go pitter patter.

I have tried to call to mind the things that drew me to him when we first met. It was his smile and his ability to make me feel safe and special. I used to say "If I were a man, my H is the kind of man that I'd want to be". What a fool I was, saying that while my H was having a relationship with another woman.

The man that he was, made choices that brought me unimaginable pain. This man asked me to give him the opportunity to be the H that I deserve and want. I am trying my best to do that, but it is so difficult. Years of his lies, betrayals and deceit rush over me and often times drown out the good.

I just took a deep breath. It was cathartic to get my feelings out.


ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 23 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years

Both feet pointed forward; positive


Posts: 377 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
PositiveAttitude
♀ Member
Member # 40624
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously just triggered myself something awful! Today is the first anniversary of DDay, and I pulled my phone records from last year - leading up to this date - to see what hours of the day/night I was trying to reach WH, etc. Sometimes it was as late as 3 in the morning.

Why did I do that? WHY???


Posts: 170 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From:
manybrokenpieces
♀ Member
Member # 37055
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TIME and a truly motivated and remorseful wayward are key to surviving the multiple betrayals of LTA. Also, IC to keep you healthy, strong, and sane while you fight to tread water in a raging storm. For me, journaling was essential to gain a modicum of peace.
^^^This also applies if you decide to file for D like I did. Whether you have a remorseful or unremoresful WS is irrelevant if at the end of a the day it's a deal breaker for you.

7yrs--thanks for pointing out that I was only thinking of my experience in R and that is not the path. Time it is.

Positive--anniversaries of all kinds suck after dday. Something else that sucks: Hindsight. After the fact, all the red flags are there and we just didn't see them. Or disregarded them. Don't beat yourself up. You are supposed to be able to trust your spouse.

Best--writing it down was always the best release for me. I kept the A to myself and didn't speak of it again after the initial Dday to anyone other than WH and Cs. Putting it in writing kept me sane!


Posts: 72 | Registered: Oct 2012
NoMorDeceit
♀ Member
Member # 23547
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((PostiveAttitude))) I'm sorry! I remember doing that as the first d-day anniversary rolled around. It is because you are trying to figure out what the hell happened to your life...normal. Trying to sort out the puzzle.

I'm sorry you are hurting.


FBS, been through the D marathon too.
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled... There is hope! :)


Posts: 467 | Registered: Apr 2009
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TheBestMe
I don't have romantic love for my H. That fantasy ended years ago.

I will say this and what I have learned from my therapist..

A quality man creates an environment where his wife will react in romantic love. Lazy weak men cheat because there are always women who seek things they are not getting. These are easy women who have also lost their way in life. The A serves a purpose.

This tells me your man is not creating this environment and likely ignorant to what a woman truly needs. He is typical.

I know I create this and my wife reacts. I don't know if a woman can create this in the same way for a man. I beleive it is possible.

If you are in a M where a man does not in good conscience, behave in ways to place you in the feelings you want, you just don't have it. And he may never truly “get it” until something changes.

And the typical man, sex is love to him. When you give him sex, you affirmed him in a big way and visa versa if not. A typical woman is not affirmed this way. Your H likely thinks when you give him sex, you are good.

I sense you never or rarely initiate sex. In general, a woman who never initiates sex does great damage to her man. It is the number one reason a man will cheat and usually lead to his emotional damage.

It takes an extremely strong man to accept a woman who never initiate sex or one keenly aware of the behaviors of a typical woman. A woman who has a value of frequent initiation, they typical lead their man where he never leaves the oasis to journey through the desert. And never saying “NO” to sex can is not the same as initiating sex. And a man who never wants sex from his women has a different problem.

In your case, I beleive but I may be wrong, I bet is you have been affirming him. Maintaince sex is what you give him if you have the feeling for this long and doing nothing about it. Empower yourself. You are affirming him but getting no reciprocity in what you need to be happy. And the A was the ultimate way to completely destroy affirmations.. The love of affirmations.

I will make a suggestion. My suggestion is not to initiate sex nor say yes, until you feel you need sex yourself.

And in all likelihood, you man is going to react to your “NO.” See, you might need to change the way you behave. You must now shift the way you behave in ways others react to you and leave behind you tending to reacting to others.

Watch how he reacts.. he may say ugly things to you. He may even go out and find sex from a whore. He might even go into all the behaviors he does not like about you. Let him. Do not get rattled.. just listen. Do not react to his comments or behaviors... just give them some thoughts.

But you can also prepare by not being so harsh and returning some quick reciprocity. He will try.. I know it.

When he starts his moves, you know them, You can look him in the eyes and tell him.. Until I feel romantic love for you, I am not going to have sex with you. If you want me to be next to you while you masturbate, I will do that. (you just gave him some safety)

Then listen carefully. He might asked what you need. If all he does is behave needy.. He is not a quality man. No need to debate, get angry, it is what it is. Be ready though.. He might ask you what you need. Make now in your mind what you need.

You say, “- I need a man who will kiss me everyday, no just a peck, but something with some passion.
- I need someone I can rely on, to do his part around the house, tell me where he is, etc..
- I need someone who can build me up everyday in different ways with words, kindness, and kind actions.
Work on those and I think I believe this will lead me to giving you sex like never had before. I might want to rock your world.”

Then, you take notice over the next week.. when he shows you things, you reward him greatly… you bring your sexy out. Make it a conscience choice and not about the feelings. Your good thoughts will bring out the good feelings once he makes the choice to change.

CONSISTANCY is key. This must become the new you.. And I believe in all my heart he will make a change without you demanding him therapy like I had. He will do it on his own and place way more value in you. A person can make a new behavior change in about 3 months.

And should he not change, then you leave him. Why? Because there are available men who will want to love all over you and you the basic need every woman needs to be most happy… This kind of man will give you what you need. 1 of 3 men are these types of men. Pick wisely next time and build on yourself being far more quality than you already are.

If your man is not pursuing you for sex, I would leave him. He has serious problems... If he is not physically ill.

Just my thoughts for discussion.

[This message edited by trynhard at 8:20 AM, May 2nd (Friday)]


Posts: 2667 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
krsplat
♀ Member
Member # 43242
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously just triggered myself something awful! Today is the first anniversary of DDay, and I pulled my phone records from last year - leading up to this date - to see what hours of the day/night I was trying to reach WH, etc. Sometimes it was as late as 3 in the morning.
Why did I do that? WHY???

I think sometimes we prod a healing wound to test how much it still hurts, and to assure ourselves that it really is better than it used to be. It also keeps us grounded in reality. And while reality sometimes sucks, it's better than wandering off into fantasy and losing our way.


BestMe: I hear you sounding wistful for the fantasy we all used to have of "happily ever after." We may stay with our WS, we may R, we may even build something really good with them again. But it will always have a big crack running through the middle of it, and it will never be shiny and new. We can't ever unsee the Dark Side, and that's a kind of loss. I feel you...


Me & WH: 48, married 22 years, 4 kids
DDay: 3/5/14, 7 yr LTA plus multiple ONS
Status: Separated. I need a break from this shit.

Posts: 272 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Virginia
TheBestMe
♀ Member
Member # 39476
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

quote] I hear you sounding wistful for the fantasy we all used to have of "happily ever after." We may stay with our WS, we may R, we may even build something really good with them again. But it will always have a big crack running through the middle of it, and it will never be shiny and new. We can't ever unsee the Dark Side, and that's a kind of loss

@Krsplat - Girl, you hit the nail on the head!!! We have the same definition of romantic love. It is not about sexual attraction, but rather, having that "happily ever after" with a man that makes my heart go pitter patter.

My therapist summed things up this way: The M is an expensive broken vase. My H and I are using superglue trying to put the vase back together. Despite our best efforts, the vase will always have the cracks that will remind us that it was once broken.

Yes, I have this tremendous sense of loss. The loss of my best friend, the loss of my innocence and the loss of my sense of security.

And the typical man, sex is love to him. When you give him sex, you affirmed him in a big way and visa versa if not. A typical woman is not affirmed this way. Your H likely thinks when you give him sex, you are good.

I sense you never or rarely initiate sex. In general, a woman who never initiates sex does great damage to her man. It is the number one reason a man will cheat and usually lead to his emotional damage

@Trynhard - Thank you for giving me a male's view on romantic love. You are so right in that "sex is love to a man". Pre -A, there were problems in the M that caused me to resent my H. Couple the feelings with a developing female problem and voila, we had a sexless M.

As Karma would have it, shortly after my H confessed his A, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. The surgery has left him with some ED. Here is the irony of our lives. When sex was physically painful for me and I avoided it, my H turned to another woman.

Having an A has never entered my mind. I want us to do the work to get to the place where when he walks into a room I feel safe with him.


ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 23 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years

Both feet pointed forward; positive


Posts: 377 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
LiedtoLucy
♀ Member
Member # 39246
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, May 5th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi All-

I have posted here but it has been a while. My H and I are currently in R. D-day antiversary was a couple of weeks ago. Our 11 year anniversary is coming up this weekend and we are going out of town, just the two of us.

At this point I find myself stuck. I have not yet been able to accept all of the ways that my H betrayed me for over 4 years. The things that I need to try and accept are the lies, the sex, allowing himself to fall in "lurve" with her (he still maintains that even if it wasn't real, it felt real at the time), ther is a possible OC involved...and sure there are more but..we are otherwise doing ok. I just can't seem to get to the point of acceptance and forgiveness and I feel like it is holding us both back.

I am unsure if I need more details.. I didn't get very much b/c let's face it in a 4 year LTA..What could they possible not have done? I think my biggest issue is that he had this life with her that I don't really know about...I can't get past it. He loved her. He had sex with her way more than he was having with me..

How do I do this..? Every time I think I a trying to accept it I end up get pissed off and angry all over again!


LTL

Me: BS
Him: WH
OW=UW or Ugly Whore- cow of WH
UW claims to be pregnant w/ WH baby and I HATE her for it.
DDay: 4/23/13
Together: 14 years
Married: 10 years
Kids: 3 beautiful boys. Ages: 8, 4, & 19 months
Trying to R-Some days are


Posts: 167 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Southeastern U.S.
TheBestMe
♀ Member
Member # 39476
Default  Posted: 6:24 AM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Lucy-

You are so right in making the observation:

I am unsure if I need more details.. I didn't get very much b/c let's face it in a 4 year LTA..What could they possible not have done?

Yes, my H had a life and a lurrve, that did not include me. That is difficult enough to process.

There is the possibility of an OC? Maybe you are stuck because you do not have a definitive answer about the OC. That is a DETAIL that needs to be discussed.


ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 23 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years

Both feet pointed forward; positive


Posts: 377 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
Merida
♀ Member
Member # 42437
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

guess I'm a newbie... wish my WH's A was

sadly it wipes out the last 6 years of my life - my 3rd child is 5 1/2

Married in 1997 but I guess I have to honestly say it wasn't a marriage = just a piece of paper. He kept that "piece of himself" that became the impossible hole to fill... I thought "we're a team". He prioritized self-preservation.

He was already broken and I thought I could help... man, was I a fool. All my praise did no good to silence that walled off piece with the internal voice that told him he was unworthy of love and always screws relationships up - sooner or later.

Wife 1 is a totally toxic B = we put our life on hold / no kids so he could deal as best he could with the two daughters produced from that abusive mess

So from 2002 to 2008 we are in mega court mode with custody crap because of moving her homeless/ jobless butt back to the state... and I'm the dummy that believed him when he said he wanted a family with me "Come on, we've survived so much already, our kids will be a breeze. We're not getting any younger."

So 2004 = daughter 1. 2006 = daughter 2. In 2007 we are trying for #3. We'd celebrated with a major vows renewal and 10 year anniversary party in February 2007. I'm pregnant December and happy we have our final court date in Feb 2008.

He has to stomach over 4 hours of her representing herself just beating him up he's a horrible guy yadda yadda, but our attorney plays several vitriolic VM's and the judge sees right through to the real problem. No increase in CS, no change in legal, and obviously girls now 15 and 16 can choose. We are not surprised by NC option.

Husband puts in a CL ad in Mar 2008. Fucks the response a week before we have our sono end of April to confirm we are having a son that August. I only just last week finally understood why he looked so detached while I was so elated

We celebrated with a big weekend getaway and huge 40th birthday celebration for him in mid May 2008.

OW claims she's pregnant a week later. My dumbass WH compartmentalizes further and chooses to engage in a "relationship" with trauma-bond OW bitch who is all to happy to dangle a child and manipulate him to give her a "happy ever after" life.

So yah, LTA but it's just so weird because it feels like I was married to the psycho killer who had the double-life torture chamber in his mom's house basement... I'm just so disgusted and honestly don't feel like it's a "victory" that he "came to his senses" and realized he couldn't actually go through with his lie to OW of saying he was leaving his family.

I'm like - yippee, so now I get the "prize" of the fallout from a nuke that you hit our marriage with - gee, thanks hubby, ain't you the best

[This message edited by Merida at 9:16 AM, May 6th (Tuesday)]


"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

WH is katumus and I am not reading his posts but we talk a lot and working on listening better!

BW 45
WH 46

married 17 years
3 kids


Posts: 142 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Maryland
TheBestMe
♀ Member
Member # 39476
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Merida))

So yah, LTA but it's just so weird because it feels like I was married to the psycho killer who had the double-life torture chamber in his mom's house basement... I'm just so disgusted and honestly don't feel like it's a "victory" that he "came to his senses" and realized he couldn't actually go through with his lie to OW of saying he was leaving his family.

I'm like - yippee, so now I get the "prize" of the fallout from a nuke that you hit our marriage with - gee, thanks hubby, ain't you the best

^^^^Get out of my head!!!

Sorry that you are here. But, we need each other. So post when you need to.


ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 23 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years

Both feet pointed forward; positive


Posts: 377 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
sad34
♀ Member
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, May 10th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need so much help. I am so sad and I'm not healing at all. Feels like it just happened yesterday.
I feel due to his TT that I still don't have all the answers and he continues to lie.
His answers make no sense to someone who has has a LTA.

He texted her all the time
Had sex
Would go out to supper
Stayed Over at her place
When anything happened at work, she was the first person he wanted to tell.
Would fake working late etc just to spend time with her.

He tries to convince me he never cared about her but it was just an ego boost, anyone believe that bull shit? When it's a PA with an EA attached I don't believe,
Also he never wanted to have sex but did it to keep the ego boost.

I feel if I don't get complete transparency I will never heal, there is a reason I feel like I'm in limbo.

We will b having great sex, or fun going out together or fun with the kids then boom, if I think about it for longer then a few minutes I'm enraged. In my head I'm like u asshole I did everything for u.

All my memories of those years r soiled, and of course she was a low life loser.

I don't know if I'm asking anything, I'm just so sad:(


Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 138 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, May 11th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi sad34. Well, the first thing to remember is Long Term Affair = Long Term Recovery. And that tends to be the case whether you reconcile or divorce. All the things you list are on my list too. LTA’s go on because there is nothing to stop them. Very often, the WS doesn’t want out of the marriage. It may have started as a little diversion or escape, but it becomes a trap and they feel they can’t get out. They have kept the secret for so long that it becomes part of who they are and what they do – a routine that doesn’t involve you. They get away with it for so long because it has become habit. If the AP takes things up a notch, they may get twitchy, but generally things calm down again because the AP knows they don’t really want to leave their spouse.

The LTA settles. The initial feelings of excitement, lust, falling “in love” (limerence), the thrill of the illicit, the escape, it all pales as time goes on. I often think that Mr UKg would have left if I had found out in the early months. He was GONE. Hopelessly and totally consumed by MOW. but, over time, it burnt out. He didn’t want to lose all he had, but knew if he confessed, he could lose it all. So he played for time and strung MOW along until d-day.

They get into this tit for tat, this constant spinning of the top to keep it going lest their world fall apart. It’s partly fear, although they don’t like to think about what they are doing or dwell on the possible (probable) consequences.

You will never get the Whole Truth. It covers years, not days or weeks. There will be things and times they simply don’t recall. Some of it is buried, sometimes things come to mind when triggered by something else, some of it is gone forever. But it’s not going to change what happened. In the end, your WH threw OW away. He probably wished he had done it a long time before he did.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3441 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, May 11th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Merida – are you both in MC and IC? Sounds like there is a lot of work to be done by your f(?)WH. Again, there’s a lot to recover from with a LTA. It’s a different beast from the ONS, STA or fling. It involves the ability to lie with ease, to lead a double life as if that were the normal way to behave, deep rooted problems within the psyche of the LTA WS and they won’t be fixed by a few counselling sessions and a few AD’s.

The first thing is for you to take care of YOU – and your little ones. Has paternity been confirmed re OC? What is happening in that area? If it is unknown at present, or if paternity has been confirmed it is NOT your WH, then you must follow the usual rules outlined in the healing library and the Great Posts for Newbies thread in JFO. No contact after sending a NC letter. Deleting all OW’s details from phone and email accounts. Blocking on social networking sites – but it would be so much better if WH were to delete all those accounts. Openness and transparency, passwords and PINs to everything. And if he has spent money on OW, you want all details of that too. He has to kick her under the bus and have only YOU in his vision of the future. MC and IC. Has any of this taken place?

Hugs to you. This must be just the worst time for you. But at least it’s out in the open and you are no longer in ignorance. You can now make choices for your own life based on what you know. It’s tough, but a LTA is like a cancer eating away at the marriage. It’s a severe trauma, but the tumour has been cut out and the marriage has a second chance, perhaps.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3441 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, May 11th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LiedtoLucy
let's face it in a 4 year LTA..What could they possible not have done?
Assume they have done it all. I doubt if you would feel any better if your fWH said they didn't do X but they did do Y & Z. Or that they did X,Y&Z as well as A&B that you don't do. I didn't want sex details. I did ask what sort of sex they had and fWH just said "rough". Do i believe him? No. Neither do I want to know if she was a screamer or a faker or a sweaty person or a masochist... TMI. It was 5yrs, they had a 4yr+ relationship before, so they will have done all they wanted to do.

He loved her. He had sex with her way more than he was having with me..
No he didn’t love her – it was limerence. That business of falling in love (lust) and that is why they had sex so much. In just the same way as you did when you first met. Mr UKg was totally in love with MOW, but it wasn’t the same sort of love as we had; that warm comfortable and easy going love. Love that just needed a look or a smile or a touch. Theirs was intense and needy. There was nothing about it that was healthy. It was secretive and furtive and somewhat grubby.

Immature love = I love you because I need you
Mature love = I need you because I love you
See the difference?

They think it is at the time because their hormones and emotions are all over the place. They are like adolescents again and the “love” is like a drug. It means they are unable to see each other as they really are, they gloss over the flaws and only see the beauty. The truth is, there is no beauty in an affair. It’s about two selfish and cowardly people doing something because they want to and because they can. And that is the bottom line.

You are going to feel stuck from time to time on this long road. There are moments when you need to just stop for a while before you can pick up and carry on. The second year is often worse than the first. That's when the reality settles in. This is your "new life". See my tag line? Well, there's the life before and the life after. And then there is the life during. It takes some processing.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3441 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, May 11th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To all the Tribe down in this safe little corner of SI, Happy Mother’s Day. Enjoy it with your mother, remembering your mother, as a mother.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3441 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
sad34
♀ Member
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, May 11th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

uK girl

Everything u said is so true....damn men are such assholes, only looking out for themselves.

Thank u for taking the time to comment, I thought I might b lost in the shuffle. It meant a lot.


Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 138 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
TheBestMe
♀ Member
Member # 39476
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UKgirl - Thank you for the reply to Sad34. Everything that you said applies to my situation too.


ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 23 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years

Both feet pointed forward; positive


Posts: 377 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
Topic Posts: 335
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