Crushed: Telling you everything would have been fine if had stayed home is bullshit. I am so sorry you are here but glad you found us. We have all been through the pain of betrayal. How long ago was the betrayal and you finding out?
Please understand, NONE of this is your fault. You are only guilty of unconditionally trusting someone you loved with all your heart and wanted to spend the rest of your life with. That is not broken or wrong. He is.
I understand the closure part of it. After 4 months I am in D and still know so little about the affairs. It can seem maddening until you get to a point where you can let it go.
Please keep posting and trying to breathe.