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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I guess we are done
Kisabiotch
♀ Member
Member # 43175
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He doesn't want to do what it takes to earn my trust so I guess we are done!! I am going out with friends to numb the pain. This is not how I saw my life.

Posts: 58 | Registered: Apr 2014
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry honey. Give yourself time to mourn and eventually you'll find your way to a new life. It will be different, yes...but you can't make someone live up to your standards, and if they're only going to disappoint you, it's better to let them go.

Sending you peace and strength. I hope your friends help you feel a little better. We're all here for you too.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 3697 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you strength tonight!


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
damnUnicorns
♀ Member
Member # 42691
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry. It hurts to be seen as disposable.
Big hugs from someone who totally gets it.

[This message edited by damnUnicorns at 6:54 PM, April 25th (Friday)]


Unremorseful WH-48
BW(me)-46
M 26+ years
DS 26, DD 23
H moved out 10/3/12
IN House S, H lost job 2/7/14→now
Dday 1- 3/2002 short EA/PA w-COW
Dday 2- 2/12/14→LTA, H STILL seeing "Bi"MfCOW (OW now S too)!

Posts: 121 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: CA
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry friend. Walked it myself. It is the worst most empty feeling of abandonment. Be careful to keep ur coping mechanisms positive


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry friend. Walked it myself. It is the worst most empty feeling of abandonment. Be careful to keep ur coping mechanisms positive


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
lilacs40
♀ Member
Member # 31314
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. It sure feels crappy.

I know it's hard to do but try to remember its on him not you. It's because he doesn't want to do the work on himself.

Be kind to yourself


I wish I could just stop I know another moment will break my heart too many tears too many time too many years I've cried over you

Posts: 278 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: IL
BrokenHeartMom
♀ New Member
Member # 43239
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just remember, pain can make people make bad decisions. If you're going out with friends, be sure to have ones that have your back and will help prevent you from these bad decisions. Might I suggest, find something really nice! It helps enjoy your time and not mope all night if you wear something that makes you feel confident... but confident, not provacative so you don't get into a messy situation that you will regret later. Be safe! I wish I could give you more advice, but I am struggling myself right now. I have been down this road before, but for some reason, I can't find my own strength through this or my own advice for that matter. But if you were to do something you regret, I am not one to judge, and I doubt many on here are. Please keep using this to help as long as you need.

Posts: 5 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
Kisabiotch
♀ Member
Member # 43175
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all so much !! I don't know what he is doing or thinking he keeps saying he just needs to sort this all out. I went out with friends from work and haven't laughed so hard in a long time. It felt great but coming home to him not being here sucks. I'm not ready to let go :(

Posts: 58 | Registered: Apr 2014
12yearsloyal
♀ Member
Member # 43064
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm still on the roller coaster myself. WS can't seem to stop pursuing the OW even though it appears OW no longer wants him. I laid down the law in a list of things needed in order to R. Time will tell. I am going out with friends as well. It is helping. Stay strong.


"What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul?"

Posts: 137 | Registered: Apr 2014
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he keeps saying he just needs to sort this all out

There is one, and only one thing that he needs to "sort out." And that is, is he going to do absolutely everything necessary to commit himself 100% to you and to his marriage or not. And any other answer than a whole and total commitment is a NO answer. And you deserve 100%, nothing less.

I'm glad that you had a good time with your friends. Remember this time. This could be you from this point on, being happy with people who appreciate you and the gifts that you bring to a relationship. (((hugs)))

May I suggest that you go down to the separation and divorce forum and introduce yourself sometime this weekend? They are a really good bunch of people and can help you through this.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4557 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Kisabiotch
♀ Member
Member # 43175
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Skan I will go over there and introduce myself bc that is what this has come to . I guess I'm not important enough to him and neither are our girls.

Posts: 58 | Registered: Apr 2014
krsplat
♀ Member
Member # 43242
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's NOT that you and your girls are not important! The problem is that he has his selfish head up his ass.

Hugs to you, and please keep your head up. You are worth more than you know.


Me & WH: 48, married 22 years, 4 kids
DDay: 3/5/14, 7 yr LTA plus multiple ONS
Status: Separated. I need a break from this shit.

Posts: 242 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Virginia
JT4588
♀ Member
Member # 42971
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You and your girls ARE important!!! He's just a selfish, self-centered asshole. Concentrate on you and your girls and leave him behind. Your life will be better for it. Divorce is hard. When there are children involved it's even harder but if he's not willing to do what it takes to make the marriage work, don't beat your head against a brick wall. You may not want to let go but to me it sounds like he already has. Screw him!!!

Stand up, hold your head up high, and move on without him - for yourself and for your girls. Be an example to them of a strong woman!!! You can do it!


Posts: 68 | Registered: Apr 2014
Topic Posts: 14

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