Your SO is having an A? And you know? Does he know that you know?
It sounds to me like he was purposely picking a fight with you. If he knows you know than I would think you would have to draw some lines in the sand (very hard I know that) and tell him his AP goes or you you do.
If he doesnt know you know if you have enough evidence you should confront him and lay out your deal breakers and make sure that he understands the consequences.
It sucks that you have to be here.
I read your other posts, and I'm confused as to why you are not confronting him about his affair. Are you willing to accept a third person into your marriage? Is this really the life you want?
He's going to continue talking to her and sleeping with her until you do something about it. He has his cake and is eating it too.
I don't want to constantly be reminded of our problems because they are all in your head. I keep telling you, just stop and all this goes away.
I would guess that he is suspicious that you know about his affair and is making these sorts of statements in hopes that you will just shut up and accept his choice to have a mistress.
Time to put on the bitch boots and lay down some ultimatums, naf.
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
Start the 180. Use this link to read about it. http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11
Confront him and tell him you know all about her and that you will not tolerate three in a marriage. Go see a lawyer. That maybe the wake up call he needs. Maybe not.I guess what I really want to know here is what is his end game?
I would imagine he is a cake eater. Wants his marriage and his side piece, too.Will this affair piss itself out?Maybe, maybe not. We have some members here who's spouse had 25 year affairs, same AP.Will he leave me for her?IDK. But, why leave it up to him? This is your life and you are letting him make all these decisions for you. You do have choices.
I guess what I really want to know here is what is his end game?
Will this affair piss itself out?
Will he leave me for her?
[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 7:19 PM, April 10th (Thursday)]
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
I am sorry this is happening to you. I will say that this conversation and any similar to this are his way of deflecting. You said "hope things work out with us". He can't say "Me too..." or "I am trying to figure things out". Because phrases like that would be admitting he is having an A. I read your previous posts that indicate he has not admitted to anything and keeps denying.
What he does instead is get mad at you to throw the heat off of what he is doing. Now you will cower and he has lived to lie/(technically not lie because you didn't ask him any questions, because he was mad and you didn't want to anger him further, possibly, so you turtled and relented just like how he wanted).
He will keep this A going for as long as you let him, and IF you don't confront him, start the 180 even throw his A$$ out then I am afraid this really has no chance of ending the way you want it too. He will eventually leave you because you will have completely become a "whiny, low self-esteemed, resembling nothing of your former self person". That is not attractive to anyone.
So please, please, please, do not let him keep getting away with this. Confront him, call this woman, call her husband if she has one, and get this thing in the open so that your marriage can either start healing, or you can finally have freedom from this prison he is slowly but surely putting you in.