I am going to be blunt. And I am not saying any of these things to hurt you or antagonize you.
You need therapy. Professional therapy.
Your wife is not the problem. You are.
And here is why.
You divorced her. But in fact she divorced you.
She left you when she went to Barcelona.
She left you when she went out with the OM working "overtime".
She left you when she went to NYC.
And my friend she is never coming back.
But here is why you are the problem.
Because why on earth would you want her back.
She is a liar.
She is a cheater.
She is a user.
But worst of all she is an abuser.
Normally I would tell you to lean over and punch yourself in the balls a few times.
Savor the pain.
God gave us balls to use them.
But I truly feel you need a good shrink to get your head wrapped around yourself.
Why would you accept such a horrible woman in your life. To tolerate her cheating and lies.
You need to man up and move on. To find a woman that will value you.
The day you told your wayward wife that you would put off the divorce, forgive all her lies and misdeeds is when she lost all respect for you.
It is not your fault. You have been beaten down.
Now pick yourself off the floor.
Find a good counselor to help you get your mind off the Ex and focused on you and your issues.
And I want you to do one thing for yourself. Live the best life you can with a great woman.
That is the best revenge after all.