I have debated posting this situation but now I know i need some advice. Here's the situation, I live in a small village of about 800 people, its a friendly community and very safe in general. I am an outside enthusiast and there's nothing I love more than throwing on my runners and going for a good walk around town - last summer I was averaging 5 - 7 kms a day.
I have been cooped up all winter because its been horrible here, and finally a couple of weeks ago it was nice enough to go out and walk so out I went. On my travels I ran into this older gentleman and he wanted to talk. We chatted a few minutes and he told me his life story - he is 74, lives in the villa, had a stroke and walking daily is his rehab. He was married but his wife died a few years back of cancer and his two daughters and grandchildren all live in the US. He is lonely and wants friends. My heart broke for him and he asked if i would go for dinner out of town sometime, I said maybe a coffee here in town. He wanted my phone number so I gave it to him. I should have known this was a huge mistake.
Two days later driving home from work my phone started ringing. I didn't answer because I was driving. Over the next 15 minutes it rang four more times!! It was him every time. Red flags started going off but I still wasn't overly concerned.
Last weekend I had attended a funeral service in town and decided to walk since it was only a few blocks from my home. On my way home I ran into him and of course he wanted to chat. We talked a few minutes and then my fire chief drove up and wanted to speak to me. Most people would take the hint and carry on. Not this guy. He says "I will wait" and stood there across the street staring at me and listening in on the conversation. After I was done he wanted to visit some more, finally I told him I was busy and had to go.
Well now its ramped up to a level I might call stalking. Not only does he call repeatedly he has been trying to lure me into going on a road trip with him! He said "if you aren't doing anything this weekend maybe we can go tour the countryside", I told him no, I had to go to my home town a couple hours away to get my other vehicle and so he wanted to drive me, which I politely declined. Then I blocked his number but now my phone doesn't ring it goes straight to voicemail. Things like "wondering what you are doing, call me back", "I am out walking and wondering if you are out here somewhere" .... etc etc
The other day he drove past me in my car and I could see his head do a 360 turn and he slowed right down. I drove off in another direction. Yesterday things went to a whole new level. I wanted to go walking but decided I better do a loop in the car first. Of course his old age villa is right at the end of my street, and there he is on the sidewalk. I see him looking at me and i make an immediate decision to peel off down the nearest back alley. He totally noticed. Then when I came out on the next block I could see his white and blue jacket poking out from behind a tree. He was hiding and watching me!!
I am scared and weirded out and don't know how to handle it. I know I can't avoid him forever and I miss the freedom to walk outside and feel safe. I have always walked alone because I get a much better cardio work out when I don't have the distraction of another person yakking at me.
He is 30+ years older than me and although he said he only wanted to be friends he is being way too clingy and obsessive. My intuition is screaming at me that this is not a good situation. How do I deal with this?? Its a small community I know I am going to see him again.
And to top it all off I keep hearing my IC's voice in my head telling me I have an issue with feeling sorry for older broken men!! I know its true and once again my good heart has gotten me in a bind!! Any advice is truly appreciated. Me: BW 38, Him: WH 37
Divorce Granted on December 5, 2012 - fasted divorce ever (thanks to my good lawyer) and I am not looking back with ANY regrets!!
"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"