I'm right there with you sister. I hadn't eaten in three days...well actually I tried. But it always came back. And in light of the lower income I have (he's still living here but stopped his direct deposit). I didn't feel right eating what food we have left for it to end up in the toilet.
I completely melted down yesterday because of his demands. I cooked dinner. Called everyone up to eat. Then left and went for a long long walk. I walked so far. I couldn't walk back. I called my son to get me. But that walk have be peace. Because I realized that no matter how hard it was going to be with him gone. It was going to be so much better. My son told me that the two days he was gone were the best two days he can remember. That right there solidifies my resolve.
So.... I hope thing get better. Only worry about the things you can control. If it's out of your control then just swipe it away. It's like the bugs in the world. You can kill a few. But you can't kill them all - and they keep procreating!
Hugs to you and your kids.