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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Why do I torture myself?!?!
freeatlast72
♀ Member
Member # 42758
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, a little background. DD6 plays T-ball and STBXWH coaches. OW's DD5 plays on the same team (plus she is a neighbor).....last fall when the affair started would hug on and kiss her kids when I wasn't there.

Tball started for the Spring season and of course OW her daughter on the same team-- this after STBXWH and OW announced they had feelings for each other on NYE.

I have decided to go to the Tball games to support my daughter. Today was the fourth game and it was pure torture....I do not like seeing her there cheering my daughter on....plus now she is helping in the dugout. Their relationship is still in the closet and they are keeping it a secret from others....she is going through a divorce too.

I yelled at STBXWH as I was getting in the car..."You know you can say bye to your girlfriend, I know what's up"....he of course pretended to not hear.

I keep throwing the alienation of affection lawsuit out (I live in NC)...and I know he squirms everytime I mention it.

Ugh....another thing...what is wrong with society today? Some of our mutual friends act like he did nothing wrong! OW acts like she did nothing wrong at the Tball games....guess this is a microcosm of society in general....no consequences for inappropriate behavior and actions!


BS:41 (me)
WH: 41
Kids: DD6
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years
Separated as of 01/16/2014,now divorcing...WH did not want to reconcile.

You can't rationalize irrational behavior.


Posts: 135 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: North Carolina
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some of our mutual friends act like he did nothing wrong!

I'm lifting you up in my thoughts and sending you strength to deal with them. I can't imagine how difficult it is to see them in that context.


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2264 | Registered: Oct 2012
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Freeatlast72,

They are not friends of the marriage if they don't think anything is wrong in this behavior.

I am no longer in contact with a couple of friends who thought the same way. That they needed to "support" us both. No F***ing way.

Remove those from your life who don't support you and your values.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
ideservebetter45
♀ Member
Member # 36951
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree. I have removed a few friends myself.I have to say tho most of them including his mom thinks he is an idiot and has no desire to meet ow. Thank God for that. Its so hard. How can people not see that this is wrong???

Posts: 162 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: ideservebetter45
renee21
♀ Member
Member # 27088
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My sitch is a little different but I can relate. Stbxh and I ran a youth football organization together, he was our president. He decided to hook up with the local slut/New parent at our park. we all knew something was going on last season, he moved in with her and her parents before the season was over while me, our kids, his parents and her were out there together. He then had the audacity to think he would stay on this season and bring her and her kids back out while refusing to admit they are together and lying to all of us about living with her. in my case our board voted him out and told her not to return, but their affair was very blatant and everyone hates her. This spring season and last were pure hell on me, so I understand how you feel.

people who do this kind of stuff while participating in youth organizations are a special breed of scum, especially those who do it in front of their children.

of course, both him and her couldn't understand why people were so upset with them, why they were asked to leave, that is all my fault, so he tells me.


BW(me) 36
WH-36 SA
Three kids 18, 16 and 9
Married 18 years.
Multiple D-Days, multiple OW and an OC
12/19/03,5/13/2004,12/5/2009, 2/20/2014
I am no longer a guest on the Jerry Springer Show.

Posts: 1327 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 5

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