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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: New here and lost
♀ Member
Member # 22954
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my gosh your hurting my soul. My first husband cheated on me and as soon as I found out I changed the locks and I was done. I thought I was going to die! My world was him and he was gone. He didn't care and sad to say he never did again. He hurt me more and more even though I moved to another state. I thought I was mentally going to loose it, but my morals held ground and I slowly got my life back.

I never ever talk about it because it was the worst pain in the world. For someone to just throw your love away is just the hardest. It took me a good year to get over the pain and took several years to trust again.

I know it hurts and you just wish god would take you! I remembering waking up and thinking "that was just a horrible dream" and then getting that pit in the stomach feeling that no this is no dream. I lost ton of weight and was only 114lbs to begin with. Drink water! Eat fruit. Try anyway.

I'm so sorry their was another jack ass out there. I was hoping he was the only one. Can I tell you that 18 years later he is still a loser. Cheated on the girl he left me for than got married. Cheated on her and from her I hear he is in prison! They get theirs eventually!!! So sorry for you pain!!!!

Posts: 343 | Registered: Feb 2009
♀ Member
Member # 8531
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you know who the girl is? Find out if she is married and tell her husband right away.

D-Day was 10/9/05
He promised NC. He lied. After 4 chances, I kicked him out 1/05/06.
Since then I have survived cancer surgery and a heart attack.
Now he's sorry, but it's too late.

Posts: 8109 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: Wisconsin
♀ Member
Member # 36951
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First of all, Im so so sorry you are here.Secondly I have could have written your story..right down to the excuse for him having and affair and leaving us.I paid too much attention to our daughter. ..What grown man says that? A selfish self centered narcissist that's who.You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your child.I know its hard.I was always sick,couldnt sleep,my hair fell out and I lost like 30 lbs.It's the worst pain but im here to tell you it does get better.I never thought I would say that.I mean trust me I still have bad days and when my child is with the OW I want to kill them both but Im doing better.And so will you. HE DOESNT DESERVE YOU!

Posts: 162 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: ideservebetter45
♀ Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would try to find out more about OW and report A to her spouse or bf. I would have to wonder if she is pregnant. Some OWs intentionally get pregnant to trap a man or try to and its worth rulung out.

If they are coworkers you can report it unless you feel there would be financial risk.

Shedding as much light on the A by telling people may help get him to wake up. Many As can't survive in the light.

So sorry this happened to you. The reason he's giving you is pure BULL.

BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013 PA 2010
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 563 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 73
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have had lots of good advice. Let me just say this....
Years ago, I was you. I was older, my children were older, but I had been with him since I was 15 and married at 21. I was in shock and a tangle of raw emotion. I had to remind myself to breathe...
I kicked him out but hoped he would try to win me back...and he did. He did counseling with me, he went through all the motions with sincerity, and I wanted so much to believe he had come to his senses. Things seemed to be going so well... Until it happened again. That time I did not react with sadness, I reacted with anger. It is a lot easier to keep your head above water when you are really angry than it is when you are really sad.
I concentrated on my kids and began the process of detaching emotionally from my husband, as well as seeing a lawyer and getting my ducks in a row. We are divorced now, and he is not happy about it. But I knew I would never trust him again.
Sometimes of course, they come crawling back and you are able to repair, forgive and move on. But not often.
Every time you close your eyes and picture him with her, consciously replace that image with an image of your daughter. She needs her mama whole and functioning. Don't give your husband the satisfaction of seeing you broken.

[This message edited by LynW at 8:16 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)]

Posts: 2529 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: New Jersey
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Big ((hugs)) honey. I'm glad you came here. If there is anything I can do please let me know.

We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6808 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Topic Posts: 26
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