Oh my gosh your hurting my soul. My first husband cheated on me and as soon as I found out I changed the locks and I was done. I thought I was going to die! My world was him and he was gone. He didn't care and sad to say he never did again. He hurt me more and more even though I moved to another state. I thought I was mentally going to loose it, but my morals held ground and I slowly got my life back.
I never ever talk about it because it was the worst pain in the world. For someone to just throw your love away is just the hardest. It took me a good year to get over the pain and took several years to trust again.
I know it hurts and you just wish god would take you! I remembering waking up and thinking "that was just a horrible dream" and then getting that pit in the stomach feeling that no this is no dream. I lost ton of weight and was only 114lbs to begin with. Drink water! Eat fruit. Try anyway.
I'm so sorry their was another jack ass out there. I was hoping he was the only one. Can I tell you that 18 years later he is still a loser. Cheated on the girl he left me for than got married. Cheated on her and from her I hear he is in prison! They get theirs eventually!!! So sorry for you pain!!!!