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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: want to share - applies to moms also
FieldsOfLavender
♀ Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 12:02 AM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

http://www.upworthy.com/a-single-dad-gets-creative-to-deal-with-the-lonely-moments-after-a-weekend-with-his-kids?c=ufb2

It makes me cry... at the images and the feelings.


Posts: 198 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
CheshCat
♀ Member
Member # 27546
Default  Posted: 1:36 AM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You may have just saved my bacon.

When custody first split... I did what I usually did when I had the house to myself; I cleaned it.

And I really got what my mum said about kids growing up... That someday you're going to MISS stepping on razor sharp Barbie shoes at 3am in your bare feet, in the dark, on your way to -a no longer necessary- bathroom trip. The clutter, the mess, the "How did you get dog prints on the CEILING - No. Never mind. I don't want to know."

For the first time,,, the house wasn't just as messy as it was 2.463 seconds later. Pumph! Spring loaded, I swear. Kid-mess is spring loaded.

It just sat there, all week. Empty. Crickets.

So I stopped.

And for the first time in 12 years my house got really messy.

Not the first time it got kid messy. That always happened.
I'm an ADHD, let's go play rugby in the mud, there is never such a thig as too much glitter, run in the house, jump on the furniture (Inbought sturdy furniture for a REASON) kind of mum.

But I washed my floors every morning (swept every night), spent 2 hours cleaning daily, and had a once a week crank up the music and order pizza FIELD DAY the house. (One of my cherished moments in divorce court was my ex talking about what a filthy awful person I was, because I didn't wash the floors every day when my shoulder was broken / showed pictures... And the judge said he must have shown the wrong pictures, this was of a spotless house, and he must have misheard; are you saying when she wasn't physically unable to, your wife washed the floors EVERY day? For over 10 years? And you're complaining?) It still makes me all glowy. Ha!

Company could come over whenever.

There might be some sort of ongoing disaster (usually was, ADHD + boys + dogs = beautiful chaos) but it was new that day.

After a few months of being ripped apart without my kids... I quit cleaning.

After a few weeks of not cleaning, ugh.
I've been in a pickle since then.

It hurts too much to clean.
It makes me cross eyed and unable to function in the mess.
Lose/lose.

I LOVE the idea of taking pictures of the kid-mess.

Love.

It.

>^..^<


"Another conversation killed awkwardly! Yes! Point to my side." - Chesh's Brother

Moi : BS MH 30mumble
Him : WS Abuse Adultery Addict Six-figure Sociopath = Aaass
... I picked a winner!
DDay - 2006 ad naseam
Divorced! 2013


Posts: 571 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: West Coast US
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My kids are older now. But I feel every frame of this.

Thank you.


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
Topic Posts: 3

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