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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Fool me twice, shame on mew
Chicky
♀ Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, March 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have not told him my plan yet. I will this weekend.

I wouldn't tell him shit. Let him be caught off guard just like you have been so many times before. You don't owe him anything. HE is the one who threw you away with both hands. Let him find out when he comes home and all your and DD's belongings are gone.


Half of the truth is a WHOLE lie.

Posts: 542 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fool me....

Sounds like you've got this... good on you..

Love that you're putting you and DD first. Dont buy into his BS

twatwaffle.


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 535 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
shiloe
♀ Member
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't tell him shit. Let him be caught off guard just like you have been so many times before. You don't owe him anything. HE is the one who threw you away with both hands. Let him find out when he comes home and all your and DD's belongings are gone.

I agree with Chicky, don't tell him sh*t.

By the way, I put my unemployed H through Nursing school too. Paid for everything.

Had 2 A's with MOW, his nurse co-workers. Same attitude as you WH.

It's like shooting fish in a barrel for male nurses looking to cheat. General Hospital ain't got nothing on "real life"


But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with married ho-worker. Kicked him out, he filed

Posts: 587 | Registered: Mar 2003
justlikethat
New Member
Member # 42768
Default  Posted: 12:03 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

By leaving, you are showing your daughter how to have the strength to respect herself and walk away from an unhealthy situation/person. I think that is one of the most valuable lessons a person can have. While she may not understand it now, she will eventually become a stronger woman because of the example you set. This man sounds like a major asshole who is NEVER going to be worthy of you.

Posts: 43 | Registered: Mar 2014
two2muchpain
♀ Member
Member # 29306
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Foolme1, how are things going? Haven't seen anything new on this thread. Did you tell him your plans this past weekend?

Don't let him smooth talk you. He has shown no real signs that he's gonna change. Girl, you are still very young and you two are not even married, that's half the battle right there. He has shown you no respect.

Let us know how you're doing.


Me:49,at time of A
H: 47,at time of A
M: 23 yrs.
OW:27 at time of A
Admitted to EA and other things: 6/16/10
PA (one night stand,sexting and more: 7/15/10
S:19, SS: 30, SD: 26
R: Currently trying to work it out.

Posts: 202 | Registered: Aug 2010
Foolme1
♀ Member
Member # 38606
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

two2muchpain, Yes, I told him. I ended up texting him "when the lease is up, we need to go our separate ways". I got my own checking account set up and just set up my direct deposit through work today. He did not take it well, denial denial denial, even though I threw the proof in his face. he swears up and down that he has been good, and he said he was sorry for the note, and the classic "its not what it looked like". Still sleeping in separate rooms, but trying to maintain a "friendly" in house separation for our daughter. We ate dinner as a family last night (after I told him he needs to leave on June 1). Normally, I'll say I'm done then he can sweet talk me back, but not this time. Today is a week, the longest I've stuck to my guns, and I hope he realizes real soon that this time, I am 200% serious. I have had enough.


BGF-me (31)-devoted girlfriend
xBF-him (30)-manipulative cheater
One beautiful dd. 14 years together (off and on). Married for 8 years, divorced, then "dating" for 3 more years.

Posts: 115 | Registered: Mar 2013
two2muchpain
♀ Member
Member # 29306
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You go girl!!! Thanks for the update. Sending you hugs and strength.


Me:49,at time of A
H: 47,at time of A
M: 23 yrs.
OW:27 at time of A
Admitted to EA and other things: 6/16/10
PA (one night stand,sexting and more: 7/15/10
S:19, SS: 30, SD: 26
R: Currently trying to work it out.

Posts: 202 | Registered: Aug 2010
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 4:59 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Foolme: Proud of you and your resolve. I know ur hurting and probably really mad at yourself for giving it another go after the D but u should be proud. 1 u fought to give your daughter a stable home and 2 u followed ur heart. U'll never have to doubt if u gave ur all.

Reading this site offers me hope. I know that one day (several months from now) when I start to date again (never thought I'd say that again)there are really good people left in the world. This site has shown me the horrible capability that people have to hurt those that love them but it has also shown me there are people out there that do cherish their commitments.


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
Foolme1
♀ Member
Member # 38606
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Justinpain, I love your outlook. I wish I could have the same. Being here should show me that there are people who take their commitment as serious as I do, but I still don't believe that I'll ever find anyone that believes in commitment. It's hard because I WANT to be settled down and I WANT to have more kids. It tears me apart because I don't believe, at this point, that it's possible for me....


BGF-me (31)-devoted girlfriend
xBF-him (30)-manipulative cheater
One beautiful dd. 14 years together (off and on). Married for 8 years, divorced, then "dating" for 3 more years.

Posts: 115 | Registered: Mar 2013
twicefooled
♀ New Member
Member # 42976
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Big fat hugs from someone currently living your nightmare.

Been together 16yrs, married for 11 (sadly enough, our anniversary is this weekend). Two children ages 10 and 7.

We separated last May (not due to infidelity, I had no idea at that time) and I found out after the fact that he was shacking up with someone he'd been communicating with for at least a month. Then he came back in July, grovelling and pleading and saying all the right things. The kids were sad that daddy was gone so I went against my gut and allowed him back. I wanted to be able to look myself in the eye and say "I did everything I could to save my marriage"

All seemed OK until last week. He left his facebook account open on the computer and I looked at his messages. He has been trying to hook up with no less than 6 different women since the day he moved back here. That was the straw that broke our marriage.

My kids and I are moving out at the end of the month and he needs to find a place as well. Neither of us can afford our townhouse on our own (luckily we rent and only needed 30 days notice). I'm waiting to hear today if we got the apartment I wanted, still in the neighbourhood where we presently live, the kids will go to the same school, etc.

I have decided that I don't deserve that. Yes, my stbx has many wonderful qualities but I refuse to have a marriage with no trust. I'm a very trustworthy individual and I even stayed faithful to our vows while he was out breaking them. I will never give him a chance to make me feel stupid a third time. He had a chance to change and he didn't. No longer my problem.

I'm only 2 weeks past finding out. He is living in the basement while the kids and I live upstairs till we move. He's been leaving in the evenings and coming home in the morning, I haven't asked him where he's been because at this point it's not my business, just like my stuff is no longer his business.

Foolme1 I feel for you. So very much. Just know that you and I will be just fine. I'm a bit older than you (37 on moving day, actually!) but I have plenty of friends that went on to have very healthy pregancies mid-to-late thirties. You deserve to bring a new life into the world with a man that treasures you, not one for which you are an afterthought.

I wish us both the very best of luck.


BS 37
WH 40
Together 16yrs married for 11yrs with 2 children
Dday 1 5/5/13
Reconciled
Dday 2 3/27/14
On the road to divorce?

Posts: 19 | Registered: Apr 2014
ideservebetter45
♀ Member
Member # 36951
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know about the faithful partner thing..Im pretty bummed about dating...don't even feel like dealing with it.BUT I would like to say I was pregnant with my first at 37.You can do this! He absolutely does not deserve you!!

Posts: 151 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: ideservebetter45
Foolme1
♀ Member
Member # 38606
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't even put in to words what I am feeling right now. Just overwhelmed with sadness. I spoke to my MIL this morning. She has literally been like a mother to me since we dated (I was 18). My own mother has her own issues and I am not very close to her. For the past three years, I have hidden everything from my MIL...shame I guess. I called her last week and told her everything. She called me this morning to see how things were, and it helps that she supports my decision and agrees that I need to leave the relationship. She is very disappointed in her son. I just feel so broken right now. The codependency in me wants to reach out to him and just ask "why?". But I know it is pointless.

I have therapy this weekend, so hopefully my therapist can give me some insight. She's been my therapist since I filed for divorce, so she knows our entire history, which helps. I just want to fall asleep for a very long time....


BGF-me (31)-devoted girlfriend
xBF-him (30)-manipulative cheater
One beautiful dd. 14 years together (off and on). Married for 8 years, divorced, then "dating" for 3 more years.

Posts: 115 | Registered: Mar 2013
Topic Posts: 72
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