Sometimes you just have to vent. And when you do it is hard to get the wood to the cranium that you probably need, but are in no mood to receive. I get it.
If limbo is your choice, it is. It is hard path, probably one of the hardest ways to move forward after infidelity.
So how are you going to work on you to move forward? I was asked how I could improve myself 1% by our MC once. And I had no ready answer.
She pointed out to me that people in general, love talking about, questioning and pining over the big arcs of our lives. But you change those arcs in VERY small steps that you repeat over and over again until they become your new pattern.
So boring, so tedious, and yet so effective.
All the loss and pain that you feel is justified. The best way to put it in perspective is in very small pieces. By building your own foundation piece by little piece. You are worthy of his love and effort. But if he isn't able to give it then you have the ability to give it to yourself. To build your own life and support system.
Tonight you may not be in the mood to hear that you can make things better- even in limbo- because today limbo is sucking so hard. but come back and talk tmrw. or next week.
One of the things I love best about SI is that the people here ask questions. The tough ones, the funny ones and the ones that piss you off- the kind that no one can really know or ask until you've been through this shitty with a side of crappy experience.
We want the very best outcome for you. I have hugs for tonight. big ones. And want to know what your 1% is tmrw. Hang in there.
PS- My 6th anti-versary is in about 3 hours. It doesn't really hurt as much as haunt. I am here tonight. Licking my wounds a bit more that a 'healed' person should. I still have some percents to go I guess.