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User Topic: tough day
livebythesea
♀ Member
Member # 38900
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Need space. Time alone, peace and quiet. Mind always turns to the "leave" thought. I try hard to push it away, regardless, it comes back. Today, it s here and it is getting worse. I want out, yet,I m scared. I don't want to see him hurt, and I certainly do not want my life to be worse. Such pain no matter whi h decision I make.

I dont want to go home and pretend. Isn't it bizarre, I really do not want to hurt him.


HIM - 56(looks older by the day)
his time has come
ME - 56 (heart aged lately)
DD1 April 5 2013 (he made that one up)
DD2 April 23 2013
DD3 June 8 2013
DD4 June 22 2013
3 children
1 grand child

Posts: 191 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Near the ocean ... Canada
kayaker55
♀ Member
Member # 41617
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get this, I am feeling the same. Sucks. H has SA thrown into the mix, he is genuinely working on healing but I am just exhausted by it all.
I am taking time alone now, by the ocean, to collect my thoughts.
Sending a hug to help while you work on your clarity.


Me: BS 56
He: SAFWH 56
Married 34 years
SA behavior + 2 affairs. I was clueless.
Future uncertain.

Posts: 63 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Vancouver, BC
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((livebythesea)))


Posts: 34430 | Registered: Mar 2011
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel your pain! It just flat out sucks! But know that with your DDAY so close you are going to have mixed emotions.

I remember when I would have one day where I really wanted R and to work it out, and the next day I (literally!!!) was fantasizing about how to get away with murder. LOL. I know it sounds cliche, but it really does just take time.

There's no point in making HUGE decisions like that right now. I'd read the healing library and practice the 180. Give yourself 6 months to decide what you want, and just work on you. Once you realize you're in a place where you'd be OK with ORwithout your WH, you'll be able to make the right choice.

I hope you find some comfort today, and know that you are not alone in this.


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

whoops! Brain fart! totally thought it was still 2013! So you're nearly a year out from DDAY...

are you guys in MC at all??


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
ziganska
♀ Member
Member # 41690
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same here. Sitting in Starbucks because I can't go home and feeling very conflicted and torn. There are never enough and consistent good days to make me want to stay. I'm scared too. You're not alone. Give your mind a breather and try to take a step back and reassess things. I think when we get in these moods, our world's become very tiny and small and we feel hopeless and helpless. But there's more to life out there.


Me: 42
Him: 49
DD: 12/2/2013
Married: 9 years but together for 15
Recovering, Reconciling, Rebuilding, Restoring

Posts: 123 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: New York
Topic Posts: 6

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