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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

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User Topic: Ex has an online dating profile
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But I very strongly feel like he's a huge hypocrite for dating

Not a hypocrite, he's a lunatic

He shouldn't be dating while he has feelings for me

He doesn't have feelings for you. He's playing with you. You are his prey.

Just because I'm the BS doesn't give me any right to do something that I think makes him look bad

You need to stop giving away your rights. You don't have to make him look bad. He's done that for himself.

How do I reach indifference

Stop dwelling on it.

It's unfair. And I know, life's unfair.

If you really believe this, stop exhausting yourself trying to make sense of something so insane.

You are in a typical battered woman syndrome. Just substitute emotional for physical. They love, love, love you then they withdraw followed by the beating. After inflicting tremendous pain, love bomb you, promise it will never happen again and pledge their undying love to you....until the next time. Then it starts all over again. LG, he may have never delivered the physical punches but, the emotional beatings you have gotten from him have worn you down. You are letting him win.

A mistake is only a mistake if we don't learn from it. Learn from this LG. Ever been around an obnoxious, attention seeking child? The best way to deal with them, unless its yours, is to IGNORE him. He craves your attention and he gets it with all his crazy, bat shit behavior.

Stand up and recognize this fool for what he is. Scrape that dog shit off your shoe and move on.

BS - 58
SAWH - 61 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 38 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 759 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know this was probably a bit before your time, but this is what I'd like to do to you!

I want to give you a shock every time you obsess over this horrible, disgusting POS who never did deserve you and doesn't deserve you now! Maybe that would help???

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to point this validate him by posting that you:

* allow his texts and emails to get to you.
* how people talk about him get to you.
* you talk about looking up his profile.

You're giving him his ego kibbles.

I'm not saying don't post. I'm saying stop validating him. Give him true NC. You're not doing that. Not long ago you were looking at his phone bill. You still read his email. As soon as you realized it was him, click delete it. Don't finish it, trash it. You're allowing this to continue.

He's narcissistic, he's abusive, he's stalking. You can get a RO. You have power here. No amount of embarrassment is worth your safety.

How would you advise a client?

Mental NC is how you get through this. IC. When you think of him, change abruptly what you're doing. Join a CoDA group. live life. Change your habits.

BS - Me
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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