I was taken aback that she was cray cray enough to even come out of her face like that. Mostly, this person who is young enough to be my daughter said that she was having "a bad day...a lot of stress". Well, the top of my head flew off and I commenced to letting her have it. First, I don not take threats lightly. Secondly, she was having a "bad day...a lot of stress". Bitch, I have had decades of stress! I no longer have anger I have graduated to RAGE.
The threat, any threat coming from another woman is what set me off. How dare you or OW think that I should fear you. Are you better than me in some way? Do you possess some magical powers that can put an evil spell on me? Oh I am so scared that you are going to beat me up. On that note, I'll meet you on the playground at 3:00. Don't be late.
Part of the exercise in the group was to indicate on 2 separate figures (images of 2 bodies were handed out) what emotions people were feeling for that day. Surprisingly, after the encounter, the young lady indicated that although she was under stress she was at peace. On the other hand, both of my drawings showed anger and frustration. I honestly wanted to bash her head into the table and was frustrated that I could not.
IC has helped me to see how I can better handle and channel the emotions that I am feeling. I did not bash her head in nor did I go home and eat. What I did was to excuse myself from the group and call my H and tell him how I was feeling. This was a major break through for me. I would never have told him that I was weak and needed his help. Also, I would never have turned to total strangers and put my s--t out there for you all to comment on.
Have any of you had anger and or rage from the A infiltrate other areas of your life? If so, how have you handled those situations. Come on, give me the not so pretty ones too. Everything is a chance to learn.
Both feet pointed forward; positive
1. It is unhealthy, causes stress and more.
2. You seem to have a stuffer personality like me, which means you just hold back, hold back, hold back, BOOM! You explode.
I can honestly say, I have not had a moment of anger, other than dealing with the affair and the people involved. Doesn't mean I don't think about taking my anger out on them but but I have to run through a script to calm me down.
I have been working more on expressing my emotions instead of holding back.
[This message edited by LostSamurai at 7:26 AM, March 21st (Friday)]
I don't believe anger can be kept neatly tucked away for only the situation that generated it. I think some people can do that better than others but nobody can do it in totality.
Emotions don't work like that. They need to be expressed in some form and will find a crack to get through if not given a proper method of expression.
Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson
Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.
Wow I never considered the possible pissing contest that could happen in a group anger management session hank you all for your help.
The group that I belong to is the second stage of a 3 part program designed to help people in recovery with addictions. The vast majority of the participants are mandated by the courts for either DUI or drug possession, etc. I am a food addict and display the same behaviors as a person that abuses alcohol or drugs. Food addiction is not covered by insurance therefore, I pay out of pocket.
The anger management group is separate and distinct. The young lady is court mandated for that group as well as the recovery group.
I am learning that behind most of my destructive behavior is a lot of pain. Pain turned inward is sometimes displayed as anger/rage.
It is amazing what I am discovering about myself during this healing process.
It's a shame there is no coverage for it because it's a food addiction. I bet that keeps many addicts out of treatment.
[This message edited by BtraydWife at 12:11 PM, March 21st (Friday)]