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User Topic: Other Shoe Finally Dropped
JLyn1128
♀ Member
Member # 41915
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It seems that sometimes the thing you've been dreading the most turns out to be the best thing to happen in a long time. OW in her last text to my WBF (29 years together)talked about a letter she sent. Since we were pretty sure she didn't have our address, we wondered if she sent it to the old address, which, if she didn't include a return would go to the dead letter office. That would have been the best to happen. What we were most afraid of was that she would send it to his ex-wife's house because she does know where that is. We did not want the ex included in our drama due to her fragile health. She and I are good friends and I just didn't want her disappointed and worried for me.

Well, that was over a month ago, but OW must have figured out we were not at the old address... because a letter finally did go to his ex's house. She called us crying and upset and we got the letter and read it together. It opened a flood gate of communication and cathartic release for both of us. He had been withdrawing from the questions and continued presence of the affair like the 800 lb gorilla it had become. He anticipated that the letter would rekindle all the anger and fear in me that dday had brought... but it didn't. We stayed up all night and killed a six pack of Guinness talking and bonding over our shared resentment of this woman to draw innocent parties into the drama just to satisfy her need to lash out. He answered questions I had asked and he had refused to answer before. It was raw, it was real, and just painful enough to draw us closer together. We are now better than we were, definitely stronger than any time in the last two years.

I was thinking of thanking her... I had a letter started to respond to the crap she said in her letter... but as I re-read it and edited it.. it kept getting smaller and smaller. Then, suddenly, I had no need to respond to her at all. I decided to just let her roast in her own anger and hate and wonder if we even got the letter. I'm telling you it is like going from a dark forest into a sunny clearing. There is still darkness around you, but if you just stay in the clearing until you find the right path out...it's marvelous. I feel like she is now gone from our lives and we're walking out of the dark together. I hate to sound mushy and all literary and such.... but I feel like we have a future again, for the first time in a while. Thought I'd share.


Me BSO 62
Him WSO 62
Together 29 years, living together 17. He's been with her off and on for half of that.
OW - Available. Thinks 'love' is in the way he looks at her.
Status - R and hopeful

Posts: 106 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: CA
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I decided to just let her roast in her own anger and hate and wonder if we even got the letter.

The best way to not feed the drama llama


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52763 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
stillhere09
♀ Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I agree it's best to let her wonder about the letter.

I'm so glad the two of you are able to work things out.


Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M


Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
Topic Posts: 3

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