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Newest Member: whathappensnext (45075)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: so now what do I do?
Merida
♀ Member
Member # 42437
Default  Posted: 4:01 AM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So the OW was "so nice" to share a bunch of "happy times" pictures with me of my husband with her and child

guess it was good as it got some other times they'd spent together out in the open ( I am so tired of TT )

so on the one hand, since he gave me access to his FB acct I feel like publishing these photos so everyone knows what he did as I really don't like thinking now I am also carrying the burden of protecting his reputation

but it doesn't seem like this sort of attack on my part in the end will actually help me heal any = great, we both can hurt each other = is all I project will be the end result

just really not liking the high road at the moment but hoping maybe some thoughts from others will calm the fears about me thinking he is "yet again" getting away with stuff if there are no consequences

honestly I want to out her more than him but not sure how to go about it

just really hurt and feeling stupid I didn't put a block on FB that she contacted me thru...


"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

WH is katumus and I am not reading his posts but we talk a lot and working on listening better!

BW 45
WH 46

married 17 years
3 kids


Posts: 198 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Maryland
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:00 AM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry Merida!
All I can say is be thankful - that kind of cruelty is within her, not you.

There's an OC thread down in ICR:

http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=431778

I hope it is helpful to you.
Keep posting.
What is your H doing to protect you?
(& no matter what he's doing - protect yourself!)
hugs


Posts: 6617 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
NeverAgain2013
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh. Welcome to the rest of your life. It's always going to be SOMETHING when there's an OC involved. Court battles, child support wars, drama, drama, and drama.

That's an absolute deal-breaker for me with no room for negotiation.

You're a strong lady, Merida.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1766 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
Merida
♀ Member
Member # 42437
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

H's at least finally getting a DNA test... 5 years and about $40K wasted "keeping her quiet" to not tell me right away but better than never I guess

hopefully the system will override that he was a fool to sign whatever form she's now trying to use in her support complaint. Answer gets filed next week and hopefully we mediate a private agreement signed off on from there once paternity is officially "cannot be excluded" (I have to so admit I do not want him to be the sperm donor, but whatever - if that's what it takes to get him away from CL whores of the future so be it)

lawyer advised against a NC to "play nice" get support adjusted accordingly as a private agreement so I don't have protection there but so far, she's not returned to our house.

I got him to change his cell phone so she can no longer txt or call.

He's given me access to his work, linkedin, FB emails so hopefully he's not hiding more

we're in MC so glad he came on board with that - signed up for retrouvaille (sp?) starting in May - so also glad he was willing to go to that

other than that = started nutrisystem to not just keep dropping all this weight from depression/so focusing on keeping it balanced = food and exercise wise

have a spa-massage plan for the rest of the year for once a month

so thankfully I jumped on this site and been trying to work through...one day at a time of course, but still - better to be working than wallowing


"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

WH is katumus and I am not reading his posts but we talk a lot and working on listening better!

BW 45
WH 46

married 17 years
3 kids


Posts: 198 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Maryland
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have been doing everything right. Just stay on the high road -- it is so tempting to go nuclear, but hold off and later you will be glad you refrained. Block her on FB now...and enjoy those massages!!!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4190 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Topic Posts: 5

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