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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: He works with her
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BTW, I have been here for some time and have never read a successful recovery story with the AP and WS still working together. I put up with my FWS working with the work whore off and on for months after Dday. Each time it set the R back and I eventually got fed up with our M coming after the job and left with a "Dear John" letter. That was when true R happened and he hasn't worked with her again.

You will never heal with them being together and if you don't heal...the M doesn't heal.


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 9yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 933 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
twisted
♂ Member
Member # 8873
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, something stinks about this story.
Too many people are finding too many excuses not to fix the obvious. OW is not living with her spouse? Too inconvenient to work another shift? If might be unreasonable to not see each other every day. No one can afford to make a change?

Somebody need to wake the hell up! Just my opinion, but sounds like nothing is really changed. You'll be back here in a few months telling us he never quit seeing her.


"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Posts: 893 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Oklahoma
MediumRare
♂ Member
Member # 35128
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry Kerri, but when your WS decided to wander his dick in the workplace, losing that job/career is one of the risks that goes along with that behavior.

He needs to either find a new job, transfer to a new department, force her to transfer or otherwise go totally NC with the OW.

If he's not doing 110% for this now then you know where his true priority is, which is not you, the betrayed.

Perhaps serving divorce papers are in order? Or maybe explaining how he has 2 weeks to get that bitch out of his midst else you will report the affair to his superiors AND the OW's husband.

Also, the fact he admitted he knows she and her BS are not "100%" means he's already crossing boundaries and discussing inappropriate topics not related to work. I'm certainly glad he has all this time to laugh, chat and get intimate with his whore about her rocky marriage instead of minimal contact and work-related discussions only.

You might want to pick up a copy of "Not Just Friends" so you can read how inappropriate his boundaries are, ESPECIALLY after an affair.

From all of the above, I'd be plastic bagging his shit and starting to make demands. His head is up his own ass, and from the sounds of it, is still up his whores ass as well. ACTIONS... not words.

Good luck to you!

[This message edited by MediumRare at 3:03 PM, March 7th (Friday)]


BS (ME): 44
WS(HER): 42
9 years
OM#1- 20-something loser, stole bunch of my things after she had sex with him in our bed (no condoms, STDs)
OM#2- 24 year old, unemployed loser, lives with mom & dad
DDay 1/2012
NC 3/20/2012
SGASDay 4/1/2012

Posts: 717 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: California
kalimata
♂ Member
Member # 42104
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kerrie:

Are you delusional or what? Your WH left you, then came back and told you about an affair he was having, then told you he was cutting things off?

Are you crazy? He is still probably having the A with this woman as we speak. They are both working in the same place. Why do you think they call them quickies? For goodness sake, please wake up. The affair is still ongoing and will continue to eke at your heart until this shit-sandwich is dealt to someone else.

Stop acting weak and needy. Stand up for yourself and demand that action be taken. Here is what needs to happen

1) Does OW report to your WH? If not and they simply work together then call the HR department of where they work at. Tell them about the A and that you want to make this a formal action. Ask the OW's Husband to call and do the same thing. HR will be forced to change their shifts or you could sue them.
2) Go see an attorney and tell them about the workplace love-affair. If HR doesn't move quickly then get your attorney to draft up a letter
3) Expose the A more widely. Sounds like you did a great thing by finding the OW's H. But find more friends who mutually know them both. What about your family? His family? He needs to be publicly shamed and humiliated. Just limit exposure to close friends who could have an influence on your H to come back to the marriage
4) He needs to get a new cell phone. This prepaid garbage will not work. Get him a phone where you can track who he is calling and also get a hold of all the text messages. He needs to give you the password to the phone at all times. Activate the GPS feature on his phone to track him.
5) Get tested for STDs


Posts: 191 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Red  Posted: 6:01 PM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

kalimata...

Your post is hurtful and insulting.

Post respectfully or you will be removed from this site.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197957 | Registered: May 2002
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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