A prayer for clarity. May you clearly see that which impedes you on your journey of healing, so that you can take direct aim and action.

A prayer for self-knowledge. May you see yourself, all of the ages and self's that encompass the physical you, and may you deal with each of those self's with compassion and courage.

A prayer for strength. May you always have a reminder, when you falter and when you get tired, that you never walk alone.

I am at a point where I am trying to tease apart the abandonment and hurt I felt as a 12 year old boy and that which I feel from my wife's betrayal.

This is exactly what I am struggling with as well.

My father didn't leave me physically, but he was gone nevertheless. He was an emotionally abusive, selfish, extreme cheater. He still is, and because of my husbands affair, so many old wounds have begun bleeding again.

Seems like I have been trying to escape this pain my entire life, and I have never been successful. Lately, I have had the thought that my WH 's affair might be the catalyst that allows me to release myself from this old pain, to let go, to move on. Those are shackles I have worn my entire life, and it would be wonderful beyond description if I could cast them aside and be free.

It would be - freedom. Healing. A blessed new day.

Blakesteele, I pray these things will manifest in your life, and in mine..

((blakesteele))

ps: beautiful words by so many on this post - Skan's prayer brought tears to my eyes. You are so very much cared for on SI blakesteele but I know you already know this.

[This message edited by LA44 at 8:57 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)]

I have often thought that our stories are quite similar.

I pray for you for sure. Specific prayers for peace and strength today.

Remember when you FEEL as though God is far away, his PROMISE is to be with us always. You are so much like I am in so many ways. As I know you believe the Bible to be fact, base your thoughts on fact. Feelings are a response to things that happen. Sometimes we create our own negative thoughts and these become "events" that create "feelings" that we choose to respond to.

I struggle with not believing my wife cares because she is not reading and "putting the work in." She is just different. I am analytical. She is not. I "face" pain. She avoids. I am open. She is defensive. All based on perspective. My perspective. Hers is a different perspective.

God love you man. His strength is far greater than ours. Rely on it.