Tribe, Cat was served with divorce papers and a TRO today! Yay! Not sure what will happen from here, but hopefully it will be the end of him acting like a complete asshole and his love for money will motivate him to start negotiating.
Love my attorney.
The tro, wow. I've read enough of your posts to assume that was probably a bit fearful for you to do? Even if not, I think you're amazing, and I hope it keeps his sorry ass out of your home.
I mostly lurk here--no D, no kids, therefore not much ongoing drama--but I ran into my very NPD-seeming exWBF last week and also had some contact with him via text and email. I feel like it's ruined all the distance I had. I know this is why NC is so vital! But my problem is...a small part of me still wants to be attached to him, wants to hear his pathetic manipulative 'I'm sorry and I still love you' and wants to believe it too. Of course if you love someone I think you don't stab them in the back and lie about getting therapy and call them a slut and justify your way into having you continued cheating be a 'private comfort' !
Most of me can remember that actions mean more than words and that he's very broken and that he hasn't done anything to become safe and probably never CAN be safe, and that I deserve so much more, and in fact the very idea that I even hold a small part of myself open for him is totally crazy and suicidal and stupid--but, the emotional reaction, the yearning to get back that feeling of love (which was ALWAYS undercut by resentment on his part and lies and cheating anyway!), is really strong and it keeps me from blocking his number, having his emails automatically delete, etc. It's been getting easier to not think about him and to think about him in more rational ways as time goes by and my contact has dropped, but I'm just scared of being vulnerable to being manipulated--of wanting it, almost!
It's hard to admit that with friends sometimes, so thought I would vent about it here. It scares me that I haven't been able to cut him out of my heart yet.
A lot of NPD sites describe that feeling as a peptide addiction. If you think of breaking any addiction it takes conscious effort one. Damn. Day. At. A. Time! Don't give up. Start over and keep working on minimizing your peptide addiction.
It's the closest thing I have read that actually makes sense, to me.
It's been 11 yrs since XH left-over a year since face to face conversation, and I still hear his words in my head! Yeah peptide addictions suck! Inside my head is a different type of no contact..
I'm working on it. You do the same, one day we will be free of them.
Hot damn - I ❤️your new lawyer!!!
Had to pop in and share -because I know y'all will get it - Cat came over today!!!
AYFKM right now? Couldn't obey the RO for one DAY!
Dropped Cat an email with Bcc to L reminding him exactly what the RO says. Sent L details. I imagine he is going to have a field day with that tomorrow. Told him I don't want a contempt order or anything right now, but to scare the ever living shit out of Cat as a reminder of what the purpose of the RO is.
So glad I have IC tomorrow.
Tribe, Cat was served with divorce papers and a TRO today! Yay!
Priorities, he has them! He thinks he is going to sit there smug and gloating..boy will he get a surprise when i get the tro against both these douches.
I relate very closely with the struggle in NC. It is very like an addiction, it feels like an addiction.
I don't think drama is a requirement for posting here, .
The internal struggle with all of this crap is so damn hard. No one seems to "get it" like the tribe. Reading about NPD has helped me to understand my reactions, my struggle, but it is still a struggle. This shit is hard.
Divorce should be final on Aug 5th
stbxwh texted last night, "you are leaving me too, just like everyone else has. You can have your divorce, I will not show up".
I would like to respond, "everyone has left you, have you for one moment stopped and asked yourself, why is that??? Could it be that you are cold, selfish, abusive, a liar, and that you have run from every cruel thing you have ever done and left your victim bleeding???? Who left who??????? Who is the one running? " okay I would like to say a whole lot more, but instead I will say nothing.
But I will make a copy of the text about not showing up at court to bring with me, just in case he really doesn't show.
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie
As for the 'you're leaving me' text....
Just leave it at that?
[This message edited by nekorb at 11:06 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]
I am somewhat trying to keep myself busy I have so many other things going on as well and reading all the pain a lot of us are going through brings me down and right now I need to focus on my game plan.
I am glad to read you got tro, start cutting the chains, it's a lifelong process but the more we learn about npd and how textbook they all really are we can start predicting behavior.
You seem so strong but I know how stressful it can be, you make it seem easy. Remind yourself how strong and what an awesome mom you are. Your kid lucky!!
It is hard to explain to others in real life, I feel like I am always defending myself and they are supposed to be my friends
The upside of Coming here is everyone has pretty much been there done that and when we hear each other's stories it's like, yep, they are that douchey and pos and screwed up.. No need to prove how screwed up the situation is..
I found out today I had some ovarian cysts come back when I wNt in for kidney stones sonogram. I'll find out more later this week and hopefully things start clearing up.
Cali, take care of yourself!
Thank you all for just being here.
Hey, kajem, thanks for te peptide reference. It lead me to some decent books.
Now if only there were ways, for those of us not in NC (getting ducks here) to further protect from that peptide stuff. I wonder seriously if medication would help.