I think I've definitely decided to fire my attorney. I have the draft written of the email I'm going to send as soon as we have this one document signed and in hand.
I'm consulting with a new attorney on thursday, so with or without said document, current counsel will have to be terminated prior to that.
The current guy is nice and sympathetic, but he just isn't going to be aggressive or assertive enough to deal with WH, I don't think.
HE causes me anxiety, and I just don't have any to spare right now.
I decided it's probably best to change attorneys BEFORE I file. Less paperwork and less hassle. I think current guy would have been great if we were doing a dissolution successfully.
I'm going to have to call my parents and borrow some money, as I can't take anything of that amount out of our joint accounts right now. I hate that.
Well I hope anyway...I'm going to email potential new atty and see if he is able to meet with me tomorrow vs Thursday.
Received another text from CAT saying he isn't moving his stuff out if I don't pay for his move. Not what we discussed AT ALL. I'm assuming this is in response to letter Nice Guy atty sent out today.
he's being quite the fuckwit for someone who still needs my signature to complete the purchase of his new home.
I'm scared to post details here...that they might be used against me in court later :( my story involves things like foreign countries and visas.
I'm well past most emotional affects and into detachment, but the road ahead holds so much uncertainty that _that_ stresses me out. I can't seek legal counsel just yet....because of where I live. In the meantime, this forum has become a lifeblood. Thank you for this wonderful resource and support!
[This message edited by meleanoro at 5:08 AM, July 1st (Tuesday)]
The folks here in this forum are awesome. They've held my hand when necessary, 2x4's when necessary, and virtual holding my hair back while I vomit.
Post what you can when you need to. We will be here.
There are so many ah has in this thread, I could spend all day listing them.
Early this year, after finding more porn, I told my H that basically, if he kept choosing that shit, I'd leave.
He was "remorseful" for all of 2 days, and now it's back to secrecy and hiding.
In the past few weeks, I've learned I dont even WANT to 180. I'm just practicing the fine art of the 90 (linked in this thread) until my ducks are good to go.
Tonight I got a bit tipsy (not a frequent drinker) and noticed that unlike previous drunken times, there was no jadedness left in me. No hope. No wishful thinking or hoping he would change. In the midst of a Long Island fallout, clarity was solid: this entire relationship is a farce. And my prior triggers...these tiny Asian women here with their 90 pounds of pre-teen glory? He can have them. Good luck to him--overweight, unemployed, entitled, momma's boy with complexes up the wazoo. Finally, after years of crud, I know and own my worth. Finally, finally, I see the behavior not as reflective of my worth, but for how pathetic it truly is.
Detachment is the most wonderful thing in the world. And I'm so glad you lovelies here get that. Doesn't mean life is easy street, but I'm done banking on hope and blaming myself. It's strategy time, and I'm playin' a player.
[This message edited by meleanoro at 8:27 AM, July 1st (Tuesday)]
Welcome to The Tribe!
Doing the 90 and getting ducks in a row are all good things. Clarity is the best thing- no matter what happens you've seen the truth. What's seen can't be unseen.
Looking forward to you sharing your story, when you feel safe enough and up to it.
NPDSIL got a dog, even though it explicitly states in her lease, "No Dogs". It's a big dog! A year or so ago, her landlord found out she had a dog and threatened to evict her, so she said the dog was going to a kennel, then my MIL somehow ended-up with it- you know because the kids were attached.
NOW, H's 95 y/o grandmother is moving in with MIL because she lived longer than she expected and the funds are drying up. GMIL has always ADORED cats, so she has a cat. MIL is stubborn about getting rid of the dog, so GMIL has decided to put the cat down, when she moves, rather than make it have to deal with the dog.
Now, I learned of this today. I told H it was absolutely unacceptable for GMIL to be expected to put her cat down in order for NPDSIL's dog to stay at MIL's and there HAS to be a better solution than that!
So, H is going to talk to MIL and see what we can do about the dog. I'm voting for the dog to go to a local no-kill shelter with a really good track record for fostering and placing dogs that also only has a handful of dogs right now. We're thinking we might even have to be deceptive and tell them we have a "friend" who'll take the dog, then take it to the no-kill shelter.
What boggles my mind is that no one batted an eye at this elderly woman feeling that she should put her cat down because SIL was irresponsible enough to get a dog when she KNEW she couldn't have one, so MIL ended-up taking it.
Really, who should have to give their pet up? GMIL or NPDSIL??
[This message edited by ThoughtIKnewYa at 5:26 PM, July 1st (Tuesday)]
Can you imagine their rationalizations? Probably stuff like, "well she's old and so is the cat, so it's better to spare the dog." The way loonies justify things never ceases to amaze.
Do you think MIL will be receptive to giving the dog to "a friend"?
I'm sorry for the crazy in your life. :(
The New gf filed restraining order and he's been so ramped up he filed for custody papers because he has had to take care of kids for 3 days due to me being hospitalized& meds.
I am calm and know truth is on my side but with him making veiled threats- I need to protect kids.
I am making arrangements to get kids back ASAP-howver, with all that has happened I cannot just yank them back.
Do they know for certain that the dog and cat don't get along? Maybe they would both be just fine with the situation. You know? It's been known to happen.
I may not have advice but I will listen.
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie
Let the attorney interviewing begin. Must get someone retained in short order. WH is trying to buy a condo and needs my signature on some things, so need to have counsel on board to approve those.
Wish me luck!
Anyone get a restraining order against your ex?
The new gf filed one full of lies, which only gave me the needed justification to get one against her and include him as well.
I'm having an Attny friend help me- but with revisiting the custody/visitation order asking ok to move away- how will that affect the mediation?
I had submitted in my custody change request that he would retaliate by filing court/rest orders/Cps claims... Sure enough he gets the GF to defend& protect their love.
What comes next, explaining to kids the stay away order. I don't want them involved but with keeping dad away it limits the contact with the kids.
I wanted to do it with therapist in just explaining it as a time out to our oldest. To them he is their dad and of course love him and I always tried to encourage a relationship but he is way past bat shit crazy and gf is too- right now they will damage the kids.
[This message edited by southsidecali at 10:11 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)]