cg is wise. Listen to her. *Let him hear* the false plans...or maybe, your *helplessness*, your angst. Play the rabbit. Who is always listening. Leave tracks leading nowhere. Lead them far away from you.
Feign ignorance. For what pets do not perceive - they cannot control.
Accept it as fact he's listening on your most private conversations and lead him to hell with that knowledge.
What is the quote thread?
Glad to see someone here, it's been a bit lonely today.
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie
Not so lonely friend, since I'm with myself.
Get lost in the quote thread- I've done that a time or two or thirty! It's a good thread-better with a drink.
Can-congrats on making the quote thread.
Anyone read Chrysallis's thread regarding her mediation today? Awesome news for her.
Happy St. Patricks day-may the luck of the Irish be with us.
Anyone else near there???
Thanks for making me immortal jj!
That has been spinning in my head for days and days, he said that so many times, he never felt loved by me or some version of it. It just floored me and then the light bulb lit! Of course he felt that way! He knew I loved who he pretended to be not the real him because he tried to hide the real him.
The real him did show up an awful lot though, more as the years went on. I just did not want to believe it.
What a year this has been. I am beginning to really believe I am going to be okay, better than okay.
I just have to ride out the pain storms and know that they will pass.
So happy for Chrysallis, that is such good news.
SIL called today, stbx is not changing flight, hooray!
He hasn't even mentioned that there is a court date to her or to his mother. I guess talking about that would make him look bad, bring up his behavior and we know we can't do that!
Glad to hear from everyone. I was starting to get nervous. Maybe a fear of abandonment?
Just being a wisea**.
Been there and done that, twice.
If I win the lottery, I'll go and meet you!
Flights are cheap right now! I have been dreaming so looking at flights to Florida. Some warmth and sunshine would be so nice right now.
You could stay with me!
I think the Tribe needs to make next years G2G ! If I start saving now, I might be able to swing it. Anyone else interested?
Hand up here
When is it? If my taxes work out to have extra $$ I might be able to make it.
Edie, woundedby2, jj, Crysallis, and I went last year. Wb2, and jj made it this year. I so want to go next year.
Planning on it.
It's on April 26th, just one day in Massachusetts.
I would love for you to come! Seriously you could stay with me!
It's crowded and you have to like dogs!
I would pick you up at the airport. It would be so nice to meet you in person.
What part of the country do you live in?
If I get support tomorrow I am planning trips!
Party at my house!
The pain of this is still so raw.
How do you pretend that it is "all business" when your whole perception of your life is shattered?
I am posting all over the place tonight. I don't even know if I posted that I am going to court tomorrow here.
Damn, I just don't want this to be my life. It just doesn't seem real. Just struggling and feeling really alone right now.
I am just scared but I will just keep moving forward. I don't want to go back. Such a damn roller coaster tonight.
You can do this, I have faith in you.
Look at where you were 6 months ago and where you are now. You have discovered your inner strength. It's time to rely in that strength.
Think of us, we will be with you in spirit , sitting behind you in court, supporting you. Some of us will be making stink eyes at him. When you get into court take a moment, close your eyes, take a deep breath and feel our Tribal spirit surround you.
We"re there with you!
I can do this, I know I will get through it, I have been through worse.
Maybe it's that it just makes everything a bit more real.
Almost like realizing, again, I am not going to wake up from this nightmare, this is reality and I was living the nightmare.
Now I am choosing to end the nightmare.
I am loosing nothing, I know that. I keep remembering a conversation with him.
I was crying and saying how I felt that I had lost so much. His response, "you haven't lost anything, it wasn't real".
Almost like he really knows what he is. Maybe he does. It doesn't matter because now I know.
I will update later.
Rescheduled for April 3rd. I guess it wasn't a total waste. It was kind of like a practice run. Hopefully next time I will not be so nervous as I will know where to go and what to expect.
I will also make sure that I have someone with me. he will be here so he may actually show up.
Going to nap now, killer headache. I never get headaches.
Today was a practice run - good way to look at it. Next time you won't be nervous with regards to finding the courtroom, restroom, etc. always a good thing to know where they are before you need them.
I confess to scoping out my judicial center prior to the CS trial.
Sending you more strength and insight between now and April.