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Newest Member: Sleepy (44725)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Other Woman Texted Me
mezmer
♀ Member
Member # 42406
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's really common for the APs to start rewriting the marital history and running you down as a justification for their shitty behavior. They have to tell themselves that you deserve all of this. Usually they will talk about how much of bitch you are, that the marriage was sexless, loveless, that you two "grew apart"-- any cliche you can think of they are repeating right now. Justification. The truth has no role in this. They are in the fog right now.

My husband and his OW did all of this to me. The stuff he said to me in the early part of it resembled our married life in no way. It didn't matter. And she regarded me as being so low as to not warrant any compassion, only contempt. Why? She wanted my life basically. In emails we've gotten since R she's actually referred to me as his dog.

We were separated for about 2 months and during that time I practiced no contact. He actually tried shacking up with her and it lasted a week before he realized he didn't even like her. As soon as he had to live with her in the real world the fog dissipated and reality set in. Not a pretty reality either. He went and got a moving truck and got her the hell out of the state. Then he called me to ask if I would consider reconciliation. That's just my experience, but these relationships fail more often than not, and letting him sit in the new reality he's made is the best thing you can do.

Of course R isn't possible for everyone, but in my situation, once my husband pulled his head out of the fog, he realized he had really screwed the pooch.


Posts: 55 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Washington
BrooklynLove
♀ Member
Member # 41800
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right now start doing a really good 180 and start making yourself feel better. Get a new haircut, new clothes and start going to the gym. Don't engage her she is a psychopath and is trying to make you do her dirty work for her. I wanted you to expose her to her BS but from the info you have provided I see that she wants you to expose her affair for her. Block this new number and start doing a hard 180. My WH was giving the OW info about me too. Telling her about me begging and making fun of me. WS can be so nasty .


Will never be naive again...

BW - Me (28)
WH - Him my JH sweetheart (33)
Married - 8 years
2 babies - DD (3) and DD (5 months)
OW#1 - PA with classmate for 2 months
OW#2 - Some slut living oversees that needs a green card. EA & PA going on


Posts: 110 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: USA
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow-so good to know I am not in this alone. Thank you. I am not engaging. I am almost in the victim witness unit lol. Except I am not a victim. I am a victor! I can see now that they are spinning their wheels. These are the only things they can come up with about me? I am a beautiful, smart, loving woman with a lot to offer. I have an awesome supportive job, supportive friends and family and beautiful children. This is not the end of my life. This will not be my legacy! I am not living in this dark evil lying world of theirs. I am SILENT.

Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Except I am not a victim. I am a victor! I can see now that they are spinning their wheels. These are the only things they can come up with about me? I am a beautiful, smart, loving woman with a lot to offer. I have an awesome supportive job, supportive friends and family and beautiful children. This is not the end of my life. This will not be my legacy! I am not living in this dark evil lying world of theirs. I am SILENT.

Huskers, good for you! What a great attitude and you are correct, you are the VICTOR!


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2651 | Registered: Jan 2010
Chicky
♀ Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Someone mentioned forwarding the text to your WH. If you want to it is very easy to do with an iPhone (if that's the kind of phone you have). Just bring up the text screen, press the Home button and the Lock button at the same time, then go to your camera roll and from there you can send it in different forms - email is easiest.


Half of the truth is a WHOLE lie.

Posts: 542 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And I did that. I actually emailed the screenshots to myself. However none of them show who it's from...meaning cell phone number. I gave contact name of Whore. So even if that showed up it wouldn't say who it's from

Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am horrified that after 30 years together he would feed someone info on me and let her, even encourage her, to treat the mother of his children like this. Truly evil

Yea, it's pretty shameless, isn't it?

I felt the same as Nora when I read your post. Awful for you for having to deal with her crap and bemused because her message was just so immature and ridiculous.

None of my stbx's OW's harassed me like this, but I'm pretty sure that if one of them had.....I would be informing her SO/BH a.s.a.p. I can deal with being fucked over, but I lose my patience very quickly when I'm being actively fucked *with*, kwim?


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7942 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Tawnee1969
♀ Member
Member # 12358
Default  Posted: 12:11 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And I did that. I actually emailed the screenshots to myself. However none of them show who it's from...meaning cell phone number. I gave contact name of Whore. So even if that showed up it wouldn't say who it's from

Remove her as a contact for a short while and it will just show her number, then take the screen shot again. Then you can add her as a contact again.


Is the f*cking you're getting, worth the f*cking you're getting?

Posts: 656 | Registered: Oct 2006
Rainbows
♀ Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 2:32 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another reason why OW woman is reaching out and attacking you could be because things may not be going too well between them. Whatever he is telling her might be making her feel insecure and threatened. Maybe they're hitting road bumps.

If everything between them was going well, she wouldn't need to bother you.

Document and don't respond.


There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 395 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Husband wanted rest of clothes on Saturday. I put them together and put on the driveway. I also put on top a book about how to win your wife back. He had it in his dresser from first affair 15 years ago. I just backed out driveway and saw the book on the driveway. Nice.

Please tell me again why they are making me the bad guy in this and hate me so much.


Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
self-rescuer
♀ Member
Member # 35059
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They are making you the bad guy because the are not able to admit their deep character flaws.

As with all these cheaters, they will do ANYTHING to justify their despicable behavior. And, the OW in your situation... geez - she not only needs lessons in moral development but someone needs to teach that chick to write a stinkin sentence.

So sweetie, don't give them the mental energy of trying to figure them out. They are common cheaters who are wrapped up in a selfish and predictable relationship.

All of us know you are better than that and more importantly, YOU know you're better than that. Keep fighting the good fight. And keep posting because we are all in your corner.


BW 53
WXH 55
married 26 yrs
D-Day 9-15-11

Divorce final 3-13-13

Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.
~ Goethe


Posts: 498 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: the south
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Self Rescuer thank you. That really bothered me when I saw that book on the driveway. Today is a really hard day. Hopefully I blocked the whore the correct way. Someone suggested forwarding the text from her to my husband. I don't know if he knows about it or not. But that would ruin my crickets silence.

Question...my son is a teenager. He does not want to see his father. Of all evenings, his father texted him last night to see how he was. Of all evenings, after his whore had done this to me on text. My son did not reply. He does not want to see him. I don't know what to do about that. I believe they will turn their energies on him now...meaning get even more cruel to me in order to see him. An hour lunch with him this weekend or let him decide?


Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let your son decide, I think. You don't want to be accused of alienating him...but it's a baseless accusation. Your son can choose on his own how to react. Can he see a guidance counselor at school to help him deal with this?

I'm sure the book being left stung. Sadly the smallest efforts to send a message end up breaking contact in a way and then hurting. So stay crickets for now on the OW texting...and if she keeps getting in touch, you can report it to the police I suspect, especially since she's tried reporting you over nothing!

You are being so strong. Be proud of yourself!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4088 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now he wants a key to the house. Just called and said he knows he can get a locksmith ince I haven't filed for divorce and the locksmith will let him in. I tried to talk him back on the roof, but he thinks he is coming over tonight to get a key. I refuse. I will never again feel safe in my house with the whore out there and him. I don't know what he wants from the house. I haven't asked. But I'm not that stupid!

Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 34
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